Missus Delphina brought her hands to her mouth. I did not know if she hid a smile or shock. “Lord have mercy on this plantation. How much more can a mistress take in one day?”
She pushed back her blankets. “Tell Hope to get the men to dig a grave. A small service can be held Saturday night after the work is done.”
“Yes, Missus.”
She looked at me. “Ninny, I cannot imagine how you feel, but there is work to be done. So stop moping and help me dress so that I can get this place back under control.”
Missus had me pull her corset extra tight, but I could still see the puffiness around her middle. It made me remember the tan baby boy and what she had done to him, and to Mama by not calling for the doctor. Disdain for her settled in my fingers, and I yanked on her hair as I brushed it.
“Ow!” She tried to grab the brush, but I held it tightly in my fist.
“Sorry, it got tangled.”
“Watch it, girl.” She bumped me with her shoulder.
I removed the brush and swept her hair into a simple twist. Once she felt satisfied with her appearance, I walked after her downstairs. Outside she located Snitch and ordered him to ring the bell.
One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Five rings meant a slave had escaped the plantation. In a matter of minutes, the ones from Lowtown hustled up the hill while thick pillowy clouds hovered overhead. Standing at the edge of the porch, Missus Delphina clasped her hands together and looked down at all who had gathered. Thirty-six of us now since Rachel, Mama, and Essex were gone.
“Essex Henry has gone astray. If you know anything about his disappearance, please step forward.”
Parrott removed his hat. “Missus, he prob’ly on his way. Got held up by them patrollers. Gave me a hard time when I was carryin’ back Ruth.”
Just her name on his lips made me hug my waist.
“Anyone else?”
Snitch clutched the whip that hung down to his hip. “That yella gal know something ’bout it. Them two was quite close. Let me take her to Lowtown for a bit. Sure I get some information out of her. More than she say?”
“You well know that Master Jacob forbids this child to be whipped.”
“Got other ways to make her talk ’sides whipping,” he snorted.
“Thank you, Mister Snitch. Anyone else?” No one else spoke.
“Fine.” She gripped the railing with both hands. “No more rations will be given out until Essex is returned. You want to keep secrets, then you will starve.” She turned on her heels and slammed the door behind her.
The lot of the field hands looked stunned. Cutting off their rations served as a cruel punishment. Even with the scraps that Aunt Hope sent down at night, it was not enough to feed everyone. I watched as folks headed back down the hill, many with sloped backs and shuffling feet. When I finished my morning chores in the house, Lovie sent me to can fruit and vegetables for the winter.
Ordinarily it was not my job, but it was a mindless task. There were strawberries, blueberries, peas, green beans, and cucumbers. I washed then soaked each fruit in a barrel with brine. Then I lugged the heavy barrels down to the root cellar, where they would stay until we needed them. The cellar was cold and dark, and once the door closed behind me, my knees sank into the dirt floor. Hurt rose up in my throat and my lungs did not want to breathe. My mouth opened and I grunted out my pain. I cried and howled and groaned until there was nothing left inside of me. Then I opened the door and threw up.
On my pallet that night, I felt three times my age. For the first time in a while, I fell into an immediate sleep. Then I heard Mama. Her husky voice addressed me, but I could not understand her words. I shifted my body in her direction, fighting hard to take her in. As I was on the cusp of connecting, a splash of wetness drenched my hair and gown. My eyes fluttered opened, and Missus Delphina stood over me, her empty chamber pot on her hip. My eyes burned with shock and disbelief.
“You did this. You helped him escape.” She kicked me as I lay frozen, covered in her urine. “Do not play dumb with me. Jacob is always bragging about how smart you are. How Sally taught you this and Sally taught you that. You think you are special because Sally used you as a little pet?”
I could not speak, so I shook my head no.
“I am so tired of living in everyone’s shadow.” She dropped the pot, and the meager contents that were left dripped onto the wooden floor.
I battled with her smelly piss streaming down my face while she ranted and raved. I tried not to breathe. Don’t open your mouth else her piss will make its way inside of you.
I forced myself up and off the floor of my closet room. Missus berated me for so long that I began sinking under the heaviness of it all.
“You are a poor excuse for a slave. You are a wretched whore, just like your mother was,” Missus Delphina shouted, and then moved to slap me, but I caught her hand in the air and tried to crush her fingers. She looked aghast, and that gave me courage.
“Do not speak on my mother. She would be alive if you had only sent for the doctor. Her blood is on your hands,” I declared, sounding so steady, it frightened even me. “You will not put your hands on me ever again.”
Lovie appeared. “Come, Missus. Let me get you in the bed.”
“Did you see that wench touch me? I will have you whipped until you are begging me for mercy. I do not care what Jacob says. You will be sorry.”
Lovie took her by the elbow and escorted her across the hall to her bedroom, closing the door behind them. I marched outside and over to the kitchen house.
“What happened?” Aunt Hope lit a candle and then dragged over a bucket of water.
I explained, while washing away Missus Delphina’s waste.
“Why does she hate me so much? I have never done anything to her.”
“You are Massa’s child. She knowin’ that why he favor you.”
“My lineage is not my fault.”
“White women too wrapped up in they own head to figure out we ain’t ask for this life. We take what’s given and makes the best out it. That what your mama did. What you has to do.”
Aunt Hope gave me a clean dress that hung big. I slipped it on and took a seat next to the fire. She cut me a piece of leftover pie and the sugar helped.
“Shame what she done to that innocent baby.” Aunt Hope raked the coals hard. “Big sin she gon’ have to deal wit’ when she meet her maker.”
We watched the flames crackle in the fire.
“I cannot go back up there tonight. All right if I sleep here?”
“Course, chile.”
I made a bed for myself in the corner out of rags, and Aunt Hope blew out the candle.
CHAPTER 9
The Funeral
Aunt Hope woke me at first light and sent me back up to the house to do my morning chores. Lovie assigned me tasks away from Missus Delphina’s eyesight, which included washing sheets in the scullery, beating the rugs behind the house, and polishing the silver in the service nook. Halfway through the polishing, the sky let loose and seemed to cry heavy tears for Mama. Fat raindrops beat against the outside shutters, and the roof shingles clapped with the gusty wind. Whenever it rained during the middle of the day, Missus Delphina favored a nap. The moment she took to her bed, I slipped out the side door and over to the loom house to retrieve some of our treasured items before the loom house was assigned to someone else, now that Mama was gone.