“He’ll probably just stand there while I crawl all over him attempting to knock him down and put him in a headlock. I’ve learned how gorgons operate. Unless I’m a cindercorn, I probably won’t be able to budge him. But I’ll just climb him, put him in a headlock that way, and braid his snakes together while he explains why it’s a bad idea to do what I’m doing. Then he’ll probably bite me a few times. Somebody mentioned testing my immunities while pregnant was good for the babies. As such, I’ll probably get bit by every damned gorgon on the planet. Just to make sure I’ve had exposure to all types of snake venom. Then you’re going to get all annoyed and insist you get to bite me more often than any other gorgon.”
“You do realize that’s more because my bites are like an aphrodisiac for you, right?”
“I may have noticed something along those lines, because gorgon-incubus doohickeys are the best doohickeys, and I have a full claim on the only one. Mine, mine, mine.” I rubbed my hands together. “You act like I don’t con your little serpents into biting me. Although it was sweet they tried to make the hangover better, but really, Quinn? A heart?” I pointed at my chest, where his serpents had indulged in body art. I blamed one of the angels or archangels loitering around the hotel for the scarring, as snake bites didn’t usually do anything other than annoy me for a day or two. “And now it’s permanent body art! I bet one of the fucking assholes is responsible for that travesty.”
“I like it,” my husband replied, grinning at me. “I like it almost as much as I like our bracelets.”
“Like is not a strong enough word for what I feel about my man repellent. I will become very upset if it somehow becomes gorgon-incubus doohickey repellent, however.” Considering an archangel had marked us with the magical equivalent of a ball and chain, which bound us together until death did we part, I wasn’t particularly worried about that happening.
Chuckling, Quinn shook his head. “I thought about bringing my Lakers jersey just to screw with you,” he confessed. “But I decided you were getting the suit model for Christmas rather than annoying you. When you least expect it, I’ll show up in my Lakers jersey, though.”
Evil, evil man. “Do I still get a picture of you shirtless to carry around in my purse along with a picture of the suit model? I’ll take the dress uniform model, too.” As my husband hadn’t grimaced at the reminder I’d spent a disturbingly long time in the hospital thanks to my immune system shutting itself off, I added, “I am definitely pursuing the naked model later.”
The elevator made a few too many stops on the way down to the lobby, and I sighed, forced to almost stand on Quinn’s feet when we got shunted into the back corner. While I appreciated being close to him, I contemplated murder by the time we reached the ground floor with the lobby, the canal shoppes, and the location I’d finally get to pick a fight with Quinn’s gorgon grandfather.
I escaped without killing anyone, but I wanted to scream at the crowd barring us from reaching my destination, a nice mat the hotel had brought out so we’d be able to fight without damaging their pretty floors.
“We can go around the back way,” Quinn said, taking hold of my hand and dragging me towards one of the hallways that circled the canal shoppes. While there were still people loitering around, we entered the shoppes from the other side of the steakhouse and worked our way back to where I’d have my chance to be pummeled by a gorgon.
The jerk would probably stand still and sigh while I climbed all over him.
Quinn’s parents spotted us, and his mother waved, and when my husband didn’t immediately acknowledge her, she waved faster and bounced up and down.
“She really won’t stop until you tell her you love her,” I whispered to my husband.
“I know.” According to his grin, he liked it that way.
Crazy man.
Quinn’s father had more restraint, although he joined in waving at us, which drew a lot of attention, most of it unwanted.
“Dad, did you feed Mom sugar again?”
“She got into some pixie dust earlier.”
I heaved a sigh at the unfairness of it all. “Just once, I want to know what it’s like to get high on pixie dust. Just once.”
“I’m sorry, Bailey. But you get high as a kite on napalm. I just get a little frisky and like fire.”
“That’s so sad.”
“Not really. I get to watch you get high as a kite on napalm, and that makes everything all right with me. Last time, you wormed through it while on your back with your hooves in the air. Tiffany got a good laugh out of it, too.”
“Where is that devil woman, anyway?” I needed to tell her a thing or two about laughing at unicorns who could breathe fire. After she finished laughing at me for attempting to tell her off, she’d probably get me in trouble.
“I’m pretty sure she and Arthur went to bed.”
“Which type of bed are we discussing here?”
“The kind where they pass out into an unconscious and exhausted stupor. They both got a fairly heavy dose of influences from succubi and incubi in the past week, and they need to sleep it off.”
Oops. “You didn’t, did you, Quinn?”
“It wasn’t me. The Devil’s wife did some, my grandfather showed up to play for a while, and I’m fairly sure the Devil amused himself throughout the hotel. He can’t behave all the time, and Darlene took her eyes off him for ten whole minutes.”
It took me a moment to remember the Devil’s wife was Darlene. “That poor woman.”
“Don’t worry about Darlene. She loves all the trouble he creates. If she hadn’t wanted him creating chaos in the hotel, she would have stopped him. Probably. Then again, she is a succubus, and the Perkins weren’t the only people wanting Christmas miracles this year. They’re just getting the lion’s share of miracles.”
Well, yeah. Perkette being barren until the Devil and an archangel had gotten a hold of her counted as quite the miracle. “If she finds out I’m technically part of the reason she’s having quadruplets, she’ll kill me. Protect me.”
“And who is the reason we’re having twins?” my husband asked.
While I could have blamed his grandfather, I shrugged and pointed at myself. “For every one we add to the chaos, we have to adopt one. It’s a new rule I just made up. I expect the adoptees will be gorgons, though. For some reason.”
“Life will be interesting if our children don’t inherit your immunities. We’re really going to need a new house if that’s how we’re going to approach expanding our family. Also, I’ll be adding to our evening ritual to ask if you’d like to add any new members to the family along with how many new members you’d like.” Still laughing, Quinn dragged me over to his parents, letting me go long enough to hug and kiss them both. “Are you going to be roped into a demonstration, Dad?”
“Not today, much to my disappointment. Your grandfathers and uncle feel it’s best to let Bailey show off. No demonstrations for you, either.”
“He better give me a demonstration when we’re back in our suite,” I muttered.
“I’m sure you can handle any negotiations with my son as you see fit, Bailey. Are you having a good night so far? I was worried when you went under the table.” Quinn’s father chuckled. “But then your father joined you under the table, and at that point, I decided against checking in on you myself.”