I freed myself from Quinn’s grip and doubled back to the front row, and as the Devil and his brothers were all conveniently located together, I flung myself at the quartet and indulged in a group hug. The Devil’s wife dodged my affection, although she caught my veil before it could be ripped off my head or otherwise cause me trouble. Behind me, my husband laughed.
“You fucking assholes are the best!”
Quinn’s angelic grandfather chuckled. “While I am most pleased to take some of the credit, my brother is the one who has done the research. He will also, with some help from your father, teach you how to better control your shapeshifting abilities. Your little ones need exposure to all of your magic, so outside of a ban from alcohol and too much sugar, you will find the next few months of your life disturbingly enjoyable when your offspring are not doing their best to kick you in the ribs. Cindercorns have an easier time with pregnancy than human women.”
Uh oh. I saved myself from exposing the surprise by not looking at Perkette, who would be dealing with quadruplets after having been barren her entire life. “You’re about to tell me I’m not human, aren’t you?”
“You are sufficiently human for your new job’s needs,” the archangel assured me.
I grabbed Sariel’s hand, kissed the back of, and repeated the process with the other archangels before planting a kiss on the Devil’s cheek. The Devil’s wife laughed and warded me off before shooing me away. I bounced back to my husband. “I get napalm, Quinn!”
He caught me in a hug and kissed my forehead. “Heaven forbid you are forced to suffer without any napalm. There’s going to be a catch. There’s always a catch when it comes to you and your favorite fiery treat. You should find out what the catch is now to limit your disappointment later.”
As Perkette would do something like dangle a treat in front of me and then make me pay for it in some horrendous fashion, I asked, “What’s the catch?”
“You have to exercise,” the mad scientist replied. “You’ll probably survive, and the exercise will be good for the babies.”
I would remember that when she was waddling around, thanks to her four incoming children. “I’ll try to limit my whining somewhat. That is a catch I can live with.”
Perkette feigned fainting against Janet, and she flung her hand against her forehead. “It’s a miracle. Your napalm supply will be rationed, however. There will be no unapproved napalm benders.”
Heaving a sigh, my husband turned me around, planted his hands on my shoulders, and pushed me down the aisle in the direction of the steakhouse deeper within the canal’s shopping district. “And I would prefer if there are no approved napalm benders.”
I couldn’t blame my husband for his opinion. Bad things tended to happen when the CDC authorized me to use napalm, and it usually involved mass destruction and a requirement for construction crews to remove the rubble once I finished. Add in how I tended to scare a few years off my husband’s life, and it amazed me anyone let me near napalm at all. And the hangovers. I could live without the napalm bender hangovers. “That doesn’t mean there might not be an approved one. Come on, Quinn. We’re the best at playing with fire.”
“I’m sorry, Bailey, but you’re still outclassed by phoenixes,” my husband said.
“Just because phoenixes can fly doesn’t mean they’re better than cindercorns. We have hooves, we breathe fire, meat is delicious, and so is napalm.”
Laughing, he shook his head and continued to push me along. “It is my solemn duty as your husband to feed you as much steak as you can stomach. If we stand here chatting, the hungry horde of police officers might toss us in the canal for delaying their dinner. It’s bad enough more cops than I anticipated showed up, so we’ve taken over every damned restaurant in the hotel, and I think we took over some of the restaurants across the street, too. Including a buffet. The only good news is we’re not paying for it, although there’s a battle royale going on over who will foot the bill in progress. I want nothing to do with that battle, by the way.”
“My father?” I guessed, as I couldn’t imagine Ra liking to lose to anybody.
“Among others, including my grandfathers, my uncle, and most of my relatives. While you were getting dressed, I got to listen to some of the dispute. It’s going to be entertaining. I did suggest your father handle processing all of the payments to keep things orderly and to fight over it after the wedding. That earned me some father-in-law favor, which I’m happy to take at this point.”
If our families wanted to bicker over the wedding bills, I wouldn’t get in their way. “I get to fight your grandfather, Quinn! That is the only battle I care about.”
“It will be a light skirmish, and you two will not beat each other to a near-death state. We can discuss strategy over dinner.”
“There’s a strategy for fighting gorgons? You mean I can’t just pet his snakes after I catch him in a headlock? I figured I’d get him in a headlock and cuddle with his snakes. They like me. Amanda has been teaching me the many ways I can put people in headlocks. I suck at everything else, but I am good at headlocks!”
I bet the instant we got home, Quinn would be doubling the number of self-defense courses I took. With luck, he’d join me.
Few things beat sanctioned brawling.
My husband laughed. “You know what? Forget I said anything. If you catch my grandfather in a headlock so you can pet his snakes, I will reward you appropriately.”
“I’ve been extra good today, so I deserve an even better reward.” Six months ago, I wouldn’t have dreamed of asking anyone to spoil me, especially not my personal heaven and hell rolled together in one smoking hot package. “Maybe I deserve two extra special rewards for saying that out loud without running away.”
“I am very impressed you didn’t imitate a lobster or attempt to flee to the nearest bathroom. I figure you still have some time tonight to do so, although I’ll enjoy catching you and returning you to where you belong.” Quinn made sure I’d keep walking before releasing my shoulders, stepping to my side, and wrapping an arm around me. “I have you where I want you, and I intend to keep you here for the rest of the evening.”
“Who has the kids? Are they going to be having dinner with us?”
“They’re socializing with the gorgons. My cousin brought his whelps to start socializing them, so they’ll probably play all night.”
I wrinkled my nose at the memory of having beaten Quinn’s cousin, who lacked common sense when under the influence of alcohol and an incubus. “Oh, he’s useful for something other than annoying me?”
With a low, wicked chuckle, my husband led me to the steakhouse for my next conquest. “Shockingly, yes. It’s their first time with other gorgons their age, so we’ll let them socialize and have a good time. As Darrel never wants to experience you trying to shove your foot down his throat again, he promises the children will be tended properly and kept out of trouble. Not only that, when we get them back in a day or two, they’ll be exhausted.”
“Exhausted is good, because they’re going to be exhausting us soon, won’t they?” I couldn’t wait to get the children and our new animals home so we could settle and get started with the rest of our lives.