“As a general rule, picking the pockets of a gorgon is a good way to get petrified. My little granddaughter has problems with asking before snitching things, like my little grandson.”
That made people laugh, and their jostling did a good job of keeping my target around long enough for me to snap a picture of him. Annoying someone hadn’t been part of my plans, and I took a few more pictures of the crowd to get as many faces as possible before I emailed and texted the pictures to myself and returned the phone to the gorgon’s pocket. “Thank you. Sam didn’t want me to break my phone. And I really would. If I had it on me, I would’ve fallen right into the canal. By default.”
“Never fear, little granddaughter. I will help you into the canal soon enough.”
Quinn would enjoy peeling me out of my wet clothes, and I doubted my poor jeans would survive. Some sacrifices needed to be made. “You better put your phone somewhere safe, as I’ll be doing my best to take you with me when I go.”
“I’m not worried about my phone. It’s waterproof.”
I scowled. Turning to my husband, I pointed at his grandfather. “Hey, doohickey! Why does he get a waterproof phone?”
“Your new phone is waterproof, Bailey. Did you not read the box when you bought it?”
Oh. “My phone needs to be better than his phone.”
“You’re going to get bit if you don’t pay attention to him.”
“Why’d you make me leave my phone upstairs if it’s waterproof?”
“You would inevitably crack the display roughhousing with my grandfather.”
While true, did he have to announce it to the entire crowd? Before I could voice my opinion, one of the coral snakes nipped my finger. I yelped and tried to pull my hand away, but the little bastard dug his fangs in deep. “Now you’re just being rude!”
“This is a good reason why you shouldn’t turn your back to a gorgon or point at one,” Archambault announced. “Unlike mundane snakes, mine generate venom at a significantly increased rate. In addition, my snakes continue to deliver venom for however long they bite. Had she been a standard human, she would be convulsing and frothing at the mouth, and her death would be counted in a matter of seconds at the dose she’s currently experiencing. I’ve won, Bailey. You may as well accept your defeat.”
Like hell I would accept defeat. I abandoned waiting for Amanda to give me directions, pounced on my gorgon grandfather, climbed him like a maypole, and went to work attempting to braid his damned serpents while they all took turns trying to sink their fangs into me.
In addition to venom modification, someone must have added a numbing agent, as the bites lacked their normal stab of pain. “You should ask for them to keep that anesthetic, Archambault. Normally, that stings a little.”
“Ah, yes. You can thank the angels and archangels for that. They felt it would ruin the fun if it actually hurt to be bitten. The holes will close sooner than you anticipate, too. As we’re in the season of their heightened power, I’m sure their benevolence may bring forth extra gifts, too.”
The only gift I needed was the ability to keep clamping my legs around the gorgon’s chest and having free rein to braid his coral snakes, who settled into our ritualistic game. I won when I dodged being bitten, they won when they bit, but as their bite packed the perfect punch, I made a show of dodging their bites while braiding them. “These poor babies have so much venom. You’re a bad gorgon, not taking care of them better.” I rested my elbows on his shoulders to make sure I stayed put while I worked, catching his serpents and weaving them together. Each time I caught one, I offered my arm as a reward for being good while I braided him. As was our way, they behaved once captured.
I gave it ten minutes before I was so hopped up on their venom I’d consider attempting a seduction of my gorgon-incubus doohickey in public.
To demonstrate his strength, Archambault strolled around the mat with no evidence my weight bothered him. “It is worth noting that gorgons can, in some circumstances, do dry bites, but this is rare. Should you be in a relationship with a gorgon, and you’re invited to play with our snakes, as my little granddaughter is currently doing, they will do fangless nips rather than actual bites. You should never engage in such activities with younger gorgons, as it is a skill that must be mastered. When available, most of us carry antidotes in case of an accidental bite, or we petrify a bitten victim to allow time for rescue personnel to administer a treatment.”
As I could see a bunch of idiots testing their luck because they could, I said, “The treatment for petrification reversal and the antivenin is usually around five thousand dollars. It requires a lot of neutralizer, an identification of the venom used, acquisition of the antivenin if available, and the services of an angel or a high-level practitioner if an angel isn’t available. Practitioners are cheaper, but they’re not as reliable about purging toxins of a gorgon’s potency. More often than not, such a bite leads to death, but gorgons are particularly careful around their brides—or their permanent surrogates. There are contracts for surrogates, and any costs of care are included as part of their compensation. If such a thing interests you, you can either approach a gorgon or inquire with the CDC.”
“And now, for a more practical demonstration of a gorgon’s strength,” Archambault announced before grabbing hold of my legs right above the knees and peeling me off, despite my best efforts to stay put. The instant he had my legs unwound from his body, he bent over and tossed me over his head into the canal.
I shrieked, landed with a splash, submerged, and flailed before my ass hit the bottom. I scrambled to the surface, glaring at the bastard while I tread water, as the canal was just deep enough I needed to swim. “That was just rude!”
“So, shall we begin the meet and greet? The CDC representatives will determine order, but please leave any valuables you do not want to get wet. I find throwing humans into the water to be quite entertaining.”
What a jerk. I sighed, swam to the nearby ladder, where my husband met me, his smuggest smirk in place.
That smirk worried me. “What?” I asked.
“I’m just waiting for the aphrodisiac to start kicking in so I can fully enjoy my conquest.”
When Quinn went on a conquest, I became the conquered, and I enjoyed every moment of it. “Apparently, it’s slower onset than I thought. Probably because they don’t want to turn the Canal Shoppes into a sex party.”
“As I do not share, I approve. Did you have fun?”
“I tossed him!”
“I have several pictures of his expression when your pretty little self knocked him flat on the floor. They are now priceless treasures, and I have determined I need to reward you for good behavior. I’ve been informed if you ruin my new suit, I can have it replaced as part of my uncle’s wedding gift to us. I know how you can get with buttons.”
And shirts. And pants. And anything else getting between me and a close look at his skin. “You have the best uncle.”
“That shirt looks great on you when wet,” my husband commented, making no move to help me out of the canal.
Considering he likely had an excellent view of my cleavage, I couldn’t blame him for that. “I’m sure it has nothing to do with your position up there.”