My husband sighed and bowed his head. “Just because your human parents are assholes doesn’t make you a parasite, Bailey.”
“I’m the best parasite, Quinn. I successfully inhabited the womb of my host, leeching all of her nutrients until birth, where their attempts to get rid of me were thwarted by my badass self. I am the definition of what it is to be a parasite. Non-beneficial to my host, totally beneficial to me. But I was somewhat benevolent. She survived pregnancy. I didn’t burst out of her stomach or anything.” I gave the final coral snake a kiss before striding to my husband and prodding him in the chest. “And now I’m leeched onto you, and you can’t get rid of me.”
“We have a mutualistic symbiotic relationship, and as such, you do not get to maintain your status as the best parasite,” my husband countered. “You’re now a symbiont, as am I, as I am your partner in our mutualistic symbiotic relationship. You’re a former parasite, and I will consent that during your reign as a parasite, you were a most excellent one. But now you’re my symbiont, and I’m pleased you’re stuck with me forever.”
My eyes widened as my husband went for the throat, using science to flirt with me. I turned to Janet and pointed at him. “Do you see this?”
“I do. It seems he has transcended all other men, figuring out how to woo you with scientific terminology. You’re blushing.” Janet snickered. “He’s not wrong.”
“How are you feeling?” After having been petrified and kidnapped, it amazed me the woman had come out to a demonstration involving gorgons and a general petrification free-for-all.
Janet heaved a sigh and glared at Quinn. “Chief Quinn is making me undergo several rounds of petrification tonight until I learn to dodge better.”
“Quinn! You are not going to do anything like that to Janet.”
“Yes, I am.”
“No, you’re not.”
Janet smirked and walked over to Archambault, introducing herself to the former gorgon king, and rather than continue to argue with my husband over the thinly disguised torture of our cop under the thin guise of proper training, I observed.
Amanda patted my shoulder. “It was her idea, but she appreciates you care for her. She hates how easily they got the jump on her, and she wants to see if she can build a resistance. She’ll be one of the demonstrators. She’s also being paid a bonus by the CDC for participating, so she’s quite happy. Not only is she getting transferred to join us, she’s getting a really nice paycheck out of this.”
“No biting!” I reminded my gorgon grandfather’s serpents, as the little rascals would do just that if they thought they could get away with it. “I swear. His family is a zoo, Amanda.”
“Says the fire-breathing unicorn.”
“I really can’t talk, can I?”
“You really can’t.” Amanda grinned. “And add in your inclination to rescue animals from dumpsters, you are the queen of the zoo.”
“Being queen means I rule the zoo, and I’m all right with that.”
“I feel like I should protest, but as the king of her zoo, I can’t really complain.” Quinn extracted his arm from his mother’s hold, came to me, and gave me a kiss before turning me around and marching me to his grandfather. “Go get bit already. I have found the changed situation to my liking, and you seem to think you’ll have enough energy to unwrap presents by the time I’m finished with you.”
Evil, evil gorgon-incubus doohickey. “I am not going home until I have unwrapped my presents.”
“I’m still trying to figure out how we’ll get all of our presents home,” he admitted.
“I’m not above asking the various relatives who can teleport to help move everything, otherwise, we hire movers to drive across the country for us.” I escaped from his hold and stepped onto the mat, stretching as I’d been taught so Amanda wouldn’t have extra reasons to bruise me when we resumed our lessons. “Apparently, I’m here to get bit,” I informed the gorgon.
Archambault chuckled. “Someone thought about what my bite will do to you and found the situation pleasing. He probably won’t even notice if you get a few bruises now. Well, he might notice, but he won’t care.”
“Let’s get this show on the road, old man. I don’t have all night.”
The gorgon smiled and shook his head. “Patience, little granddaughter. The humans need to be lectured, then you’ll have your turn. Only then will you get to drag my little grandson to your suite.”
“Quickest beatdown of your life, old man,” I promised.
“You are so amusing.”
A CDC representative handled most of the lecturing, and Janet was petrified through exposure to Archambault’s gaze first before she was exposed to his bile, which did a good job of convincing most of the spectators they didn’t want to tango with a gorgon unless they had no other choice. I wrinkled my nose at the smell, only assisting the fledgling CDC reps with the cleanup job after the entire lot of them managed to become stone through improper handling of the substance.
As Janet lacked a significant other and had no interest in taking a random hookup to her room for the night, she didn’t get to experience Archambault’s bite. The number of volunteers would forever amuse me, and I suspected the gorgon’s poor coral snakes would be exhausted by the time the night was over. As a few too many of his snakes had overly full venom sacs, I got to rumble with him first.
I could handle an overdose. He wasn’t sure if regular humans could. With Amanda coaching me, I got to practice several tosses, one of which actually dropped the gorgon flat on his ass. I blinked, as did he.
Confused over how I’d floored the man, who weighed a hell of a lot more than me, I stared at my instructor, pointing at Quinn’s fallen grandfather.
“That’s supposed to happen when you do the toss correctly, Bailey.”
“He weighs like a bazillion pounds, Amanda. The bastard probably turns his legs into stone just to screw around with me.”
Archambault chuckled, got to his feet, and brushed off and straightened his clothes. “That time, I had not. This is a good time to mention had I been less on my guard, I would have made use of most of my defenses after that.”
“Thank you for not doing that,” I replied, and as I felt bad I’d startled his coral snakes, I apologized to each of them.
“My little granddaughter is very considerate towards our serpents,” the gorgon said, directing his attention to the curious crowd. “This is generally a wise approach, as they are individuals despite being a part of my body. Should you become friends with a gorgon, it is considered polite to ask if you wish to touch. Not all gorgons are able to maintain control over their serpents. In fact, I am not controlling any of them. She has built a relationship with each of them.”
Movement in the crowd drew my attention, and while I kept cuddling with Archmabault’s coral snakes, I indulged in my curiosity.
A tall man with an oddly familiar face and a scowl eased through the people, and when he wasn’t trying to escape in the general direction of the lobby, he shot glares my way. For once in my life, I hadn’t done anything to offend anyone in the hotel. While I lacked my phone, Archambault had his in his pocket, and he unlocked it with a few taps at the screen when I held it out.