She leaves the table, mimosa in hand, and I find myself staring at the gorgeous terrain alone. The tragedy that she can’t see its beauty anymore is unsettling.
I absolutely will end up on a ranch. I’ll end up on many. I am going to finish my degree and care for the animals in ranch country. I won’t do it to spite my mother. I’ll pursue the ranch life because I’ve dreamed of it since I was a child. And I’m close now – so close – to grasping that reality with my hands.
Payden Hardick... He isn’t the reason I do or don’t do anything. My ride or die bestie? Of course – forever. But not my only reason for living, and certainly not the scale I weigh my decisions on.
My mother seems to have forgotten that not all women make their life choices based on a man. She might have to be willing to put some of the blame on herself if she thought in such a way, and that is never going to happen.
Life has wronged her. And even though she is perfectly healthy, relatively young, and not six feet underground like River Hardick, she will hold on to her victim status until the day she dies. (Probably at ninety-five-years-old of natural causes, tucked sweetly into her bed, and right here on this ranch that she hates so much.)
I shake my head, trying to clear my mother’s dark cloud of despair away. The clock is ticking, and I need to get ready for work.
Hardick Ranch is only a five-minute drive from my family’s own ranch. And though nothing can quite compare to the estate that is enclosed on the Hardick property, the Timms’ ranch is sprawling, thriving, and by no means small.
We have our own horses, and more so, cattle - there had been no shortage of animals in my childhood.
And no shortage of Hardicks. I’d practically grown up on Hardick ranch. Pierce, Preston, and Penn were like brothers. Payden, of course, was a slightly different story – but only because we were such close friends.
I’ve almost made it there when my phone starts buzzing wildly. It isn’t even eight a.m. yet, who in the hell could possibly be calling?
Missy.
I swipe to accept the call and hit the speaker button. “Heeey, friend. What in the hell are you doin’ up this early on a summer morning?”
Missy is a good buddy from school and is also two years away from being an actual, bona fide veterinarian. She is a little on the crazy side, but we’d had a bajillion awesome nights out when her impulsivity had combined with my energy.
“Ha. I haven’t even gone to bed yet. I knew you’d be up though, you little working woman. And I had the greatest idea for this weekend!” She is massively excited, and though I have no idea what about, Missy generally has some fun ideas.
Sometimes they are too fun, actually.
“What if Brandt and I come visit you?” Missy nearly squeals the words into my ear.
“Really? That’s a pretty long drive though, Miss.” I haven’t done anything “extra-curricular” all summer, except for attending that party in Denver for Payden’s dad.
Missy’s family lives a good two hours away, and Brandt, another college buddy, lives a half hour past that. Not a short trip, but I’m pretty much up for anything.
“It’s really not. I can drive two hours with my eyes closed,” she declares, giggling.
“Okay, but don’t try that one out,” I warn, half kidding, half not. Missy can really go nuts when she wants to.
“Ha! Challenge accepted!” Missy laughs crazy hard, and I am pretty sure she is still drunk from whatever she’s been up to all night long.
“Oh my God. Stop. So... what day? What time?” I’m technically off work all weekend – welcome to come in if I want to, but not required.
“Tomorrow! Let’s go out! Aaand, I have another idea,” Missy’s tone turns even more mischievous.
“I’m scared to ask,” I quip, turning into Hardick Ranch.
“It’s nothing scary! But I thought... maybe you could get Payden to go on a date with me? We could make it a double date! Just for fun!” Missy actually is squealing now.
She’s been lusting after Payden ever since our freshman year. He’d been way too reclusive to even know she existed at that point. And personally, I may have found her obsession mildly entertaining on more than one occasion.
But that was years ago. A lot has changed. Payden had experienced another major loss in his family and given up college in the wake of that loss.
He’s been through so much that I’m not sure sticking Missy on him is the kindest thing to do. She can be... intense. Especially when she wants something. And she’s wanted Payden for… forever.
“You know I don’t like Brandt like that at all, Miss,” I protest. I do like Brandt in general, and the three of us hanging out would be fine. But adding Payden? Calling it a double date? Payden not even being my half of that double date...
“Oh my God. This is just for fun! Come on!” She is still giggly, but I can tell there is also a slight edge to her voice now.
“Payden’s not really the ‘just for fun’ type,” I add, knowing I’m going to witness Missy’s wrath soon if I keep up with the excuses.
“Seriously? I know he’s shy, but that’s part of the fun. Conquer the hot, shy stud! And... I mean you and Payden have never dated or even come close. I was assuming that after all of these years, it’d be safe to ask. Unless there’s something you need to tell me?” Missy’s hostility is obvious... and obnoxious.
“Nothing to tell, Miss. Fine. That’s fine. I’ll talk him into it.” I realize immediately that I am only agreeing to the task to prove that there is absolutely nothing going on between Pay and I.
There never has been. There never will be.
“Yes! I’m thinking tomorrow night! There are some good parties in my hometown every Saturday night, so I don’t wanna miss that. But I could be back in time for those, no problem.” She squeals. Again. “I’m so excited! Finally! Payden Hardick!”
When the call ends, I want to ignore the uneasiness in my stomach. I want to deny the fact that I just agreed to convince the one guy that I am absolutely crazy over to go out with another girl.
But I can’t.
3
Payden
Why am I even doing this? I have almost zero desire to go on a date with any girl... any girl except for Jessie. Missy could be the hottest brunette on the face of the planet, and I still wouldn’t want to be her plus one on this double train wreck from hell.
I understand that not all college girls are insane party freaks who miss more classes than they attend, but that doesn’t rule anything out as far as Missy is concerned. Yes, she is older. She and Jessie are both in graduate school and should be a billion times more mature than the average freshman sorority bimbo. I know for a fact that Jessie has matured a great deal since she’s been away at school. She is still outgoing and lively, but she definitely has adult boundaries these days.
I know nothing about Missy. Nothing. And I don’t want to know anything about her. What was I thinking agreeing to this?
To make matters so much worse, in the process of agreeing to this stupid date, I also agreed to sitting across from Jessie and watching some douchey frat dude hit on her all night. Seriously, what the hell was I thinking?