1
Payden
Early morning rides are the most enjoyable. Or at least, they had been before things got all weird with Jessie. I shouldn’t have kissed her.
When I’m busy with my work on my family’s ranch, I can almost forget all the twisty heart junk – I can almost forget that night… forget her lips.
I’m always awake before everyone else on the ranch. I’m doing the chores and tending to the horses for hours before I even have to come in contact with another living soul, and I prefer it that way. People talk entirely too much.
Horses understand the bliss of silence.
As long as the weather is decent, I usually take my favorite horse, Gaston, for a ride before returning to the house for breakfast. While the ranch guests and my family are still unconscious in their beds, I’m tacking up my gray Andalusian and taking off on my mother’s favorite riding trail.
I’ve lived on this ranch my entire life, this is my home. It’s all I really know. My three brothers and I grew up here. We’ve laughed here, cried here, loved here… and lost here. Our roots are right here on this ranch – Hardick Ranch.
Watching the sun rise over the mountains always re-centers me, no matter what is going on in the human world. And there is always some drama going on lately. I find it exhausting.
When I was young, I remember following Mom around our acreage and “helping” her with whatever task she’d set out to accomplish. I probably had been more of a distraction than an assistance, but I’d learned a lot of what I know now just from being her tagalong.
Back then life was peaceful. Granted, I was a kid, so I didn’t exactly have the weight of the world on my shoulders to begin with. But I instinctively knew after Mom passed that a certain amount of chaos was going to become a permanent part of Hardick Ranch.
The last decade had proven me correct.
Pierce, my oldest brother, was eighteen when our mother passed – Preston, the second oldest of the Hardick boys was only seventeen. My father entered a deep, reclusive state that lasted almost an entire year. Being the true devoted author that he is, he’d locked himself in his office and began writing nonstop. He’s always found a certain peace from his writing, and during that devastating time, I suppose writing was all he could think to do.
Pierce and Preston were immediately “in charge” of an entire ranch. The responsibility had strained them both. Dad finally snapped out of it and took over the empty CEO position long enough for Pierce and Preston to finish college. Pierce opted to pass his “eldest brother right” and position as the top dog at Hardick Ranch straight to Preston, who was more than happy to take it.
Pierce earned his BA in English Lit, and also met his wife, Sarah, while he was away at school. He lost Sarah in a terrible accident a few years ago, and much like my father – he’d thrown himself deep into his writing as a way to cope with such a brutal loss. Unlike my father’s western love story crap, Pierce writes horror novels. Both are equally disturbing as far as I am concerned.
Preston earned his BA in Business Management and dated about eight trillion different girls (with no intention of finding a wife – Pres is the ultimate playboy and will probably never settle down). He returned to the ranch and ran the business like a champ – aside from the days when he was too hungover to function.
I’d only been at veterinary college for two years when Sarah died, and Penn, the youngest of the Hardick boys, had barely clocked a full year toward his teaching degree. But we both knew where we were needed. Family and the ranch trumped everything else. So we came home.
Leaving vet school had sucked, but leaving Jessie at vet school had sucked even more. She’s my best friend - we’ve always done everything together. My sudden departure from school had come at the time that I’d just begun to realize... my lifelong buddy... might mean more to me than just being the closest friend I’ve had since toddlerhood.
I didn’t know then if Jessie felt even remotely the same way, and we’d both always adamantly denied being anything more than friends.
She came back for holidays and worked summers in the front office of our ranch, helping Penn with the guests and cabins and whatnot.
I just liked knowing she was home. I’d watched her go back and forth from college for four years now, always refusing to let myself go back to the headspace I’d been in when Sarah passed.
It really doesn’t matter if I care about Jessie past a friendship level, because I don’t want true love anymore… I don’t even believe in it. I’ve been unfortunate enough to have a front row seat to watch two men become widowers after finding their true love…
I’m not about to sign up for that club.
Who needs the heartbreak?
Jessie will be leaving for college again as soon as the summer is over – in just one month.
That’s fine. Great actually. The local vet is about seven thousand years old and all the surrounding Colorado ranchers are (understandably) getting a bit nervous. Jessie’s degree is needed by at least three counties full of animals. She’s got important work to do, and believe me, the last thing I want to do is stand in her way.
Once upon a time, I thought I would have the same degree... but that hadn’t worked out.
That’s fine too.
Taking care of the horses at Hardick Ranch is more than enough work. It would have been nice to get a little more of the advanced training I’d been headed toward at college... but experience is the best teacher in the world.
I’ve learned a lot just by keeping my head down and doing my job.
A girlfriend, a wife, love – all of that would only be a giant, stressful weight on my shoulders. Even though I do lift weights four nights a week, those are the kind that you can put down and walk away from.
It’s not that easy with women.
So why are you sulking around pouting about Jessie leaving? Why does your gut ache when you think of her?
Emotions are obnoxious.
I’ve been telling myself that it’s okay – normal even – to be down about my best friend leaving yet again. We aren’t really best friends if I don’t care at all. Right?
Jessie has been around since the pre-school days. Missing her is allowed, and it doesn’t have to mean anything more.
I untack Gaston and set him loose in the field closest to the horse barn. Let the old guy get some playtime in.
I’m feeling a bit nostalgic, and in the name of nostalgia, I figure I’ll go grab a cup of coffee at the front office. Jessie should have opened shop by now, and a chat with my friend isn’t a bad way to start the day off.
Everything is good. I have a great life, a loving family, plenty of money, a job that doesn’t involve interaction with other humans (aside from Joe and Matt, our ranch hands), and I have an awesome best friend.
Boom!
I throw open the office door happily and am immediately greeted by Jessie’s ass. She is bent over the printer, changing out the ink cartridge and... her ass is straight up, curvy, and fantastic.
Boom!
She whirls around at the sound of the door and smiles. “Pay! Whacha doin’? You never come up here this early. Penn and Val aren’t even here yet.” Jessie tosses her thick blonde hair over her shoulder and walks toward me.