When we got to her door, we were both really shy. I leant forwards and kissed her goodnight on the cheek. I’d done it a few times before, but Juniper turned her head and our lips met. Hers were soft and tasted of strawberry lip balm; they were plump and perfect. I dared to lean in and do it again, this time lingering a little longer. The moan which escaped Juniper’s lips excited me, and after we parted company that evening, I walked home with the biggest smile on my face. It’s a shame I don’t remember the second part of that night when whatever is inside me took over for the first time. I know I saved Juniper’s mother, but I’m scared I might have also taken another’s life. The book confirms that sometimes a Guardian can do both.
I blink a few times in front of the bathroom mirror, trying to capture the non-existent visions of what I did. They always flash and blur, and I can see nothing clear or concrete. That’s what I hate the most. I need to find answers.
I also need sleep.
I’m staring at myself in a mirror like a person possessed.
Leaving the bathroom, I crawl into my bed, and the fine cotton sheets cocoon me in a warm embrace of comfort. I yawn loudly and take a peek at my phone. When I returned home the other day, I put it on to charge, and that’s where it’s stood for two days. There are several missed calls, most are from Taya and there’s one from the school, probably to find out why I didn’t attend any of my lessons. There’s also a message from Lucas asking if I’m all right. I press reply and type out a quick response, letting him know I’m okay and that he’s to stay away from Juniper. I’m not going to allow him to get anywhere close to her. She’s mine, even if I've been a complete arsehole to her.
I scroll down a bit more and find a missed call from Juniper. It’s from yesterday, at least I think it is, but I’ve no idea what day or time it is. I just know the sun has set twice since I started reading the book. I instantly hit call back. It rings and rings for a long while before she answers,
“Hello, Mum?” Her voice is laced thickly with sleep.
“No, it’s me,” I reply, and she groans.
“Jacobi, it’s three am.”
I look across at the clock on my bedside table. She’s right, it’s three in the morning.
“I’m sorry,” I apologise, feeling guilty. “I’ll go, and I’ll call back later.”
“No.” Juniper stops me before I can hang up. “Are you okay? No one has seen you since the other day. The school are talking about sending someone around to your place tomorrow to check on you.”
“I’m all right. I’ve been reading the book.”
“Book?” Juniper questions, and I grow a little frustrated she doesn’t remember. “Oh, the book you showed me. Sorry my brain is still a little bit asleep.”
“It’s okay.”
We fall silent for a moment
“Did you find any answers?” she asks.
“No, just a lot more questions.” I pause and lay back down in my bed, staring up at the beamed ceiling with its flaking plaster, cracking because of its age. “The woman I met the other day, she’s really your mother?”
“Yes,”
“And she was really sick?”
“Yes, she had cancer. I don’t think anyone expected her to live. What’s happened is a miracle.” There’s a relief in Juniper’s voice which tells me she didn’t really expect her mother to survive.
“It is. I wish I could remember more of what I did.”
“Does the book not tell you?”
“It might…I don’t know. It’s confusing.”
“And you want me to help you understand it because I’m good at that sort of thing?” There’s an element of frustration now in her tone.
Juniper hates me for what I’ve become: a nasty bully, scared witless by what happens to him when he kisses the girl who holds his heart. For a moment, it crosses my mind to lie to her, to tell her she’s a complete nerd, and that’s why I want her help, but I can’t do it. Something about me needs to change.
“No, not quite. There’s a reason, but it’s not because you’re a nerd-”
“I’m going to hang up,” Juniper interrupts me.
“I’m sorry,” I blurt out.
Juniper falls silent. It's the first time in a long time she’s heard those words come out of my mouth.
“I need your help because somehow you’re linked to this. I’ve become this Guardian creature only a few times in my life, and each time, it’s been right after I’ve kissed you. That’s not the way it’s supposed to happen. It’s controllable according to the books, and it shouldn’t have a trigger, but for some reason mine does.”
The other end of the line goes silent before I hear the dial tone. Juniper has hung up on me. I don’t know how she feels about what I just said to her. Was I wrong to tell the truth? Will she put the dates together with me kissing her the other day and her mother being cured?
I place my phone back down on the nightstand and turn off the bedside light. There’s nothing more I can do except finish translating the book and hope I haven’t ruined any chance I have of persuading Juniper to help me.
“I’ve become this guardian creature a few times in my life, and each time, it’s been right after I’ve kissed you.”
His words play over and over in my head. I couldn’t get back to sleep last night… well, this morning I guess.
I saw my mum this weekend, but she had no more information to offer me in regards to the Guardian. Last night, before she headed back home, I asked her if I should remove her memory of Jacobi being her Guardian, and she said yes. She said it was too dangerous for her to have that information in her head. She loves my dad and she trusts him, but after sleeping on it, I think she realised this knowledge could be harmful to both Jacobi and me. She didn’t want to take the chance, so I scrubbed her recollection of it all.
I’ve never come across anyone else who has the power to erase memories. I know there are others who can, but I’ve never met them. It’s a rare gift, and knowing my mum is better now and there’s a strong chance my dad will worm his way back into her life, I also removed the knowledge of what I can do from her mind.
But, I feel guilty for doing so because even though it could be essential for my survival, she’s still my mum, even if it isn’t by blood.
Groaning at my own thoughts, I look over at the clock. It’s just after six am and I need to show up for my last day of cleaning punishment.
Lucas texted me the other day and asked me if I wanted to join him for a picnic. It was sweet, but still, I turned him down. There’s too much history between me and his best friend, and on top of that, the way he acted when Jacobi and I were with him show’s he’s putting himself in a precarious position with his friend. I’m not Yoko, and I don’t want to be. The few clean-up sessions we’ve had together since I turned him down have been awkward, and I know I’m making it that way. I need to rectify that. It’s unlikely I’ll spend any more time with Lucas after our cleaning officially finishes today, and I don’t want him thinking I have a stick up my arse.