Pushing past the crowd which has assembled to watch my impromptu show, I make my way to Juniper’s. It only takes a few minutes to get to her accommodation. On arriving, I see her instantly, and the hairs on my neck prick up with anticipation. I will figure this out, once and for all, and she’s going to help me because she’s the reason it happens. Something has us linked together, and it has to stop. I need to get her as far away from me as possible before I go completely insane.
I take a step forwards and emerge from the trees by her home, so she can see me, but she’s not looking my way. She’s staring across the grass, a big smile forming on her face. All of a sudden, she drops everything she’s carrying and runs quickly towards something or someone that I can’t see from where I’m standing. I walk farther forwards, and the figures of two women embracing come into view. When Juniper steps back from the person she’s welcoming with such enthusiasm, I drop the book I’m holding. My legs give way, and I fall to the ground. It can’t be? What the hell is going on?
It’s her.
The woman from the other night.
I saved her.
I didn’t kill her.
And as Juniper and the woman both walk towards where I’m collapsed on the ground, I realise who she is.
Juniper’s mother.
“Mum, go in okay, I’ll be there in a minute. I just need to get something from my car,” I lie to her.
She frowns. My mother has always known when I’m lying, but recently, she hasn’t been strong enough to read me. It seems, now she’s well, I’ll have to get better at hiding things I don’t want her to ask about. Like right now.
“Please, Mum,” I implore.
“Okay, sweetheart,” she murmurs, walking into my building, and when I believe she’s started up the stairs taking her to my flat, I head over to Jacobi.
“Jacobi, what are you doing here?” I bark out at him. “And why the hell are you on the ground?”
“I needed to find you. I went to school.” He shakes his head staring at the ground and still not standing up. “You weren’t there, but I knew where you lived,” he babbles.
“I didn’t go to school when I left your house, Jacobi, and I have no classes this afternoon,” I reply cautiously, wondering whether he’s having some kind of breakdown.
Suddenly, he stands up. He’s so quick I don’t have time to move, and my breath catches as he grabs my hands in his. “You must be the key. I hate you but sometimes I...” He stops and stares down at the ground.
I follow his stare, and seeing an old book lying there, I carefully pull my hands from his and bend down to pick it up. Jacobi watches me warily. He looks like a wild horse trying to evade capture.
“What is this?” I ask as I stand up again, and taking a step back, I hold the book out between us. “Jacobi?”
He’s starting to scare me. Never, not even when we were friends, have I ever seen him scared, unsure, or worried. I’ve no idea how to deal with his erratic behaviour, so I grab his hand and tug. He follows me pliantly, which concerns me even more. He doesn’t even ask where I’m leading him. His fingers grip mine with so much force it hurts, but I don’t pull away from him. A week ago, hell, a day ago, I wouldn’t have considered inviting Jacobi Ashdown into my home, my safe place, so am I really going to drag him in today?
I stop outside my flat.
“Do you actually want to come into my place with me?” I ask, staring directly at him and trapping him in my gaze.
There’s something hidden in the depths of his eyes, almost like something’s living there.
“I need your help.”
His words shock me, but it’s the guttural tone to his voice which causes my stomach to clench.
“M-my help?” I stammer.
Jacobi grabs me and hauls me into his body. His arms wrap around me like I’m his lifeline, and he’s clinging on for dear life.
“Are you okay?” I breathe out the words and wrap my own arms around him. I feel like he needs it; for some reason, he needs me.
“There’s something inside me. I’m a monster,” he whispers out his admission, and I’m not sure if he’s actually saying it to me or to himself.
Something snaps inside him, and he pushes away from me so fiercely I stumble back and struggle not to trip over.
“You,” he snarls.
“Me?” I exhale the word, confusion pulsing through me.
His angry eyes run the length of me, and he shakes his head angrily. “You will help me.” This time it’s a demand as he pushes past me and walks into my flat.
I remember my mum is there and quickly rush in after him.
What I don’t expect to see when I enter is Jacobi knelt at my mum’s feet with his head bowed. She stands before him, her hands covering her mouth, and her eyes wide open and welling with tears.
“What the hell? Mum, are you okay?” I ask rushing towards her.
Still holding one hand to her mouth, she reaches the other out towards Jacobi and mumbles behind her fingers, “He’s the Guardian.”
I look between them. Jacobi’s head is still lowered. “T-the Guardian. What are you talking about, Mum? Are you feeling okay?” I ask, stumbling towards her as the tears flow down her cheeks, but she has a smile on her face.
Finally, my mother drags her gaze away from Jacobi and looks at me. “I told you I was saved, cured, fixed.”
I nod, still confused, and I notice Jacobi has finally stopped looking at the floor. Instead, his eyes search me out like I’m his saviour.
“Yes, I remember. Kinda thought you were crazy…” My voice peters out. “But I’m guessing...” I stop and shake my head violently as though the action may wake me from a dream and the world will make sense once again.
“You’re a Guardian,” my mum states, looking at Jacobi and holding her hand out to him. “Come on, get up, Jacobi.”
“You remember me?” he questions, rising from his knees.
He towers over both of us now, yet when he looks at my mum, his arrogance, bravado, anger, and even his edge have all gone, and right now, he looks like a lost, little boy.
“I remember you, Jacobi Ashdown, from when you were friends with my daughter,” she explains, and his eyes flit to me before looking back at her; they seem dull now, as though he’s disappointed. “I also remember you from a few nights ago when you visited me at home. When you saved me,” she murmurs softly.
His eyes glisten, not with tears, but with a shine, a gloss, highlighting their beauty. There’s also something else, though, something altogether more magical.
“What are you?” I whisper, stepping forward without thinking about it and touching his cheek. He looks down at me. His eyes are soft for once, and they plead for forgiveness.
From me?
“I’m the thing your nightmares are made of,” he replies sadly, placing his hand over mine.
I feel overwhelmed. It’s scary. My brain and body are both screaming at me simultaneously, telling me I’m connected to him somehow. I ignore my heart.
“I don’t believe you.” My words are soft, and his eyes change as the emotion he’s holding in them deepens.
“I am, but I don’t want to be.” Jacobi pulls my hand away from his cheek, but he doesn’t let go of me. “Please, help me.”