“Get going, I’ll deal with this. We’ll get Hope's statement later.” I nod and start the short jog back to my truck.
Hitting the sirens, I call Luca back. “How is she?” he rushes out.
“Alert but groggy. She’s on her way to the hospital now; I’m following." I watch the ambulance from three cars behind as we both weave through traffic.
“What the fuck happened?” Luca hisses, his own worry turning into anger.
“Fucking suspected drunk driver.”
“Jesus Christ! I’ll see you there. I’m about an hour away still.” He sounds pissed about that.
“See you soon.” Hanging up, I park my truck in the visitor’s lot of the hospital, and by the time I get into the emergency department, she’s already been taken back to be examined.
“Sir, you can’t go back there.” A nurse stops me.
“I’m here with Hope Carson. I’m her boyfriend,” I tell the woman, but she won’t budge.
“They need a few minutes to examine her and get her set up to the fetal monitor.” My entire body freezes at her last two words.
“Fetal monitor?” I’m not sure they have the right person now.
“Yes. Miss Carson’s very concerned about the baby. We need to get her calmed down, and the best way is to let her hear your baby’s heartbeat.”
“Hope’s…pregnant?” How the fuck did I not know this?
The nurse looks worried now, obviously realizing I had no idea. “Err, yes. It won’t be long until you can see them. Have a seat over here.” She guides me to some waiting chairs, and I’m left to process the bombshell dropped in my lap.
Pregnant.
A baby.
She’s having another man’s baby.
Who the fuck is he?
Where the fuck is he?
Why in the hell is he not in their lives?
Fuck.
She can’t belong to someone else. She is supposed to be mine. She has to be mine. I don’t think I can let her go. Not after this morning.
“Reed?” My head pops up at Luca’s voice as he rushes over. “What happened? Is Hope okay?” How much time has passed? I must look a mess.
“She's fine. I think. I’ve been sitting here, waiting…she’s pregnant.” I don’t finish my thought before those two words pop out again.
Luca looks guilty as he sits next to me; his friend—I still don’t know his fucking name—goes over to one of the coffee machines and drops some coins in.
“She is,” Luca confirms.
“You knew?”
“I did.”
“Fuck.” My hands dangle between my legs as I stare at the floor. “She’s supposed to be fucking mine.” I can’t get over that. I don’t want to let her go. “Where the fuck is this asshole? Why haven’t you called him? Why isn’t he fucking here?” I snap my questions out rapidly, my anger growing again.
“It’s not like that, Reed. You really need to talk to Hope about this.” I’m getting sick of him not answering my questions.
“You’ve been saying this since the day we fucking met, and yet, here I am, still waiting for fucking answers.”
“Reed Burkhart?” A nurse comes out with a chart in her hand.
“That’s me.” I stand and rush to her.
She gives a kind smile. “Miss Carson is ready to see you. The baby is fine, strong heartbeat, moving around like a champ. Miss Carson is bruised and banged up, no concussion, miraculously. She’ll be here overnight for observation but will likely go home tomorrow.” The woman explains all this as she walks me to Hope’s room.
I hesitate to enter because I don’t know where the fuck I fall in her life anymore.
Hope
My head feels like it’s been run through the spin cycle of a washer a few times, but from the minute I hear her little heartbeat, everything in me settles down. My chest loosens, my body relaxes, my heart beats just a little bit easier. And the pounding in my head ceases thumping through my veins.
I’m still tired. I’m still in agony. And I’m still emotional from everything that’s happened, but we’re okay, so I know everything else will fall into place.
Until the nurse informs me as she’s walking out of the room that she’s going to get Reed. Closing my eyes, I ball the blanket in my fists, slowly squeezing out my stress. When I hear the door open and close softly, a tear leaks from my eye.
“Pretty girl.” His voice. I can hear the change in it, but I don’t know what it is. “Look at me, Hope, please.” I shake my head. “Hope.” His voice becomes sterner.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper as the baby’s heartbeat echoes around the room, making her presence well-known.
“Why isn’t that bastard here?” My eyes fly open at his question.
“Who?”
Reed’s gaze darts to the monitor. “The father.”
I stare at him, stunned. This wasn’t how I wanted him to find out, how I envisioned myself explaining my choices to him. Sucking in a sharp breath, I scoot up the bed a little and pat the spot beside me. “Sit, please?”
I want to reach for his hand, but I get the feeling maybe that’s not what he wants right now. “I was going to explain everything to you tonight.”
“Okay.” The expression on his face indicates all the questions he must have.
“I had these friends, Leslie and Miles. They made me feel…normal. Like my brain wasn’t defective. They encouraged me out of my shell for years. They did for me what nobody else could.”
He does grab my hand this time, and I hold him so tightly, not wanting to let go. “I’m glad you had that.”
“Me too. I would have done anything for them. All they ever had to do was ask, and I would have said yes.”
“Okay.” I can tell he wants to ask more questions.
“A year and a half ago, Leslie was told she likely couldn’t have children. She had a low egg count, and the doctors said it could be years, if ever, before she conceived. But suggested a surrogate.” His eyebrows shoot up, and I see some of the stress on his face lessen. “They were my best friends. The only friends I ever had.”
“So, his baby and your baby…?”
“Their baby, Reed.” I match his smile.
“That’s an incredibly selfless thing of you to do.” When his hand reaches up and caresses my cheek, I lean into him, desperately needing the contact.
“It was. Until a month ago when they were killed in an accident. We’d just found out not long before that the first insemination worked. They were so excited.” I can’t and don’t try to stop the tears this time.
“Now, it’s your baby,” he says, and I can’t read what he’s thinking, feeling.
“A little girl,” I respond.
“Christ,” he utters under his breath.
“I know…I know this changes things. Changes us.” I shake my head when he goes to speak. “I’d really like it, though, if maybe, down the road, we could be friends. When you can forgive me for lying to you.”
“Time to go! Mommy and baby need their rest. You can come back tomorrow morning. Visiting hours start at eight.” The nurse pushes Reed out before he can respond to my request, and I’m left in turmoil, with that damn broken heart again, all night long. Making sleep impossible.