“Want to talk about it?” I asked against the top of her head.
“No.” She clung to me a little tighter. I didn’t want her to hurt, but it gave me inordinate pleasure to know when she needed someone she’d come to me.
I kissed her hair and ran my hand up and down her spine. She sighed, her body already growing heavy with sleep.
“Holt?”
“Yeah, Easy?”
“Maybe we should forget the boundaries.”
Chapter Seven
Baker
“Baker.”
The sleep-roughened voice that spoke my name made me want to stay in my dream. I was in strong arms. Safe. Content.
“Baker.”
A soft kiss pressed to the top of my head sent warmth melting through me. No, I definitely didn’t want to wake up.
“Easy, I don’t want to get up, but I’ve got to go to work.”
Easy. Hmm. I thought that sounded like Holt’s sexy voice. I clung more tightly to the dream, though it felt as if it was slipping away.
A laugh rumbled in my ear. I screwed my eyes shut, desperate not to let this go. “I’m flattered. And you aren’t making this easy. But I can’t be late again.”
“Mmm. Keep talking. But not about work,” I mumbled, fighting reality.
Another laugh and I couldn’t avoid him any longer. Bright eyes met mine when I blinked open. I propped my chin on his chest.
“There she is.”
Whoa. His knockout smile sent me spinning. They always did, but this one was different. More . . . real.
“Hi.”
He swept a piece of hair from my face. “Sleep okay?”
“Yeah. Better than okay.”
Last night, I couldn’t get away from the demons. All I’d wanted was Holt. I’d crossed a line by coming to him, but that didn’t stop me. It was a decision I had no regrets over.
“Me too,” he said quietly.
Something cool poked against my back. Blindly, I reached behind me. “What’s your phone doing in the bed?”
A shadow passed over his face and I immediately wished I’d left it alone.
“No reason.” He pulled me closer to him. “As much as I’m enjoying this, I really do have to get up.”
I pushed at him playfully. “Go. The sooner you’re out of here, the sooner I have the house to myself.”
“Are you saying you’re already tired of your roommate?”
“I thought you were going to be late.”
He groaned and threw the covers off. “Fine.” Absently, I traced a pattern across his chest. “Thought you wanted the house to yourself today?”
“I do.”
“That’s not the way to get it.” He flipped me on my back and tickled my sides.
“Holt,” I shrieked, flailing about. “Go away. Go away.”
“Aww. You don’t mean that.”
“I do,” I said between laughs. “I definitely do.”
* * *
Holt strolled into the kitchen, hair damp from a shower I hadn’t joined him in, with a fresh pair of coveralls on. I steadied myself on the counter, growing warm at the reminder I’d spent the night in his arms.
“I packed your lunch.” I offered him the brown bag.
His startled look gave way to something that appeared in the same family as pleasure. “Thanks.” He leaned a hip against the counter beside me.
“I didn’t make it,” I hastily explained. “Trish did.”
“Yeah? So I guess I need to thank her instead.”
I swatted him with a dish towel. “Go.”
His eyes drifted toward the dining room table. “What are you working on now?”
“I’m still trying to figure out the lip gloss. I can’t get it the shade I want.”
“Keep at it. You’ll get there.” I gaped at him, surprised by his confidence in me. He rapped on the counter twice. “I’ll see you later.”
“See you,” I said, almost shyly. I didn’t want him to go and that spelled trouble.
He grabbed his leather jacket off the back of the sofa. Halfway to the door, he turned around and pointed at me. “Don’t forget tonight. Pizza. Beer.” He looked at me expectantly.
“The Walking Dead,” I grumbled.
“You got it.” He made a finger gun and winked at me as he pulled the trigger.
I gasped, shaking in fear, and the second the door clicked shut, I took another breath.
It was nothing, meant as a cute gesture, yet the move nearly sent me to my knees.
I stumbled to my bedroom, my heart beating so hard I could barely catch my breath. With shaky hands, I unplugged my phone where it was charging on the nightstand and dialed.
“Can you come over?” I choked out.
As soon as I got an okay, I hung up and collapsed on the bed.
* * *
Trish found me curled up in a ball where I’d been since I called her.
“Baker?” She crawled in bed beside me and coaxed me to put my head in her lap.
“Sorry,” I said weakly. “You’ve got the food truck. And Ella.”
“Andrew has it covered. Sonya and Drew are helping him out.” She tried and failed not to smile at the thought of her husband with those two. But even their shenanigans couldn’t make me feel better. Her smile turned kind. “I’m glad you called.”
I shifted and closed my eyes as she stroked my hair. She knew everything about my past and had completely understood why that meaningless gesture had sent me into a tailspin when I spilled out what happened. I needed my best friend and was beyond grateful she’d come when I called, no questions asked.
“It was nothing,” I mumbled. “But last night . . . and he didn’t mean anything by it this morning.”
“Did you tell Holt?” Her fingers stilled for a moment.
Panic filled me at the thought of him ever knowing what I’d been a part of. It had been hard enough to tell her. “No. I can’t do that.”
She paused as if collecting her thoughts. “Take it from someone who tried to hide her truth. The longer you do, the worse off you are.”
“Just because he’s my roommate doesn’t make him entitled to my secrets.”
“You’re right. But I think we both know he’s more than that.”
I hugged my knees closer to my chest. “I’m scared.”
“Falling in love can be that way.”
I sat up straight, eyes bulging. “I’m not in love with Holt.”
“Not yet.”
I furrowed my brow and dropped my head back onto her lap. “I don’t deserve to be here. Those people . . . I see their faces. I don’t want to think about any of it, but it’s wrong for me to forget.”
I shuddered. The vision of their fear was so vivid. I tried to make them disappear now but they wouldn’t.
“You feel it’s your cross to carry.”
“It is. I didn’t do enough. I was so caught up. And Kyle. He’s in my head all the time.”
“He always will be,” she said apologetically. “But you have control over what you do with that.”