Soon, Noah and I were chatting on the computer after school each and every afternoon. With hormones zipping through my body and my adolescent mind in deep, bone-shattering love, I couldn't stand to be away from him. He was one of the most popular guys in school, despite his punk rock appearance.
However, the more we hung out, the more he tried to impress me, although he didn't need to. He took out his lip piercing, bought contacts and started wearing the trendy polos everyone loved during that time. Somehow, he became more handsome than the day I first set eyes on him.
I'd never experienced such an attraction or connection to one person. It was as though our souls were stitched together, and with any amount of distance between us, it physically pained us. When I was with him, I felt capable of being loved, like I wouldn't always be the awkward girl people whispered about behind my back. I could still remember the first time we kissed and the first time he said I love you like it was yesterday. I supposed we could never forget our first loves. Those emotions etched themselves into our memories, never to be replaced or erased.
It wasn't all rainbows and butterflies. Noah didn't simply make me fall in love with his pure charm. Part of him manipulated me too. He would often tell me how lucky I was to be with someone like him. He'd make a point to tell me about all the girls who talked to him and wanted to date him. As if I didn't already accept I had something to lose by simply loving him, he created a sense of self-doubt within me that I wasn't good enough for him. This was just the way he was a decade or so ago. I could only imagine how his manipulation skills had advanced since then.
I breathed in Noah's familiar scent; it was the same as back in high school. A fresh laundry aroma radiated off him. His hairline had receded some, and he’d gained weight, but he still looked as handsome as I remembered.
Hell, Noah won "Best-Looking" his senior year, my junior year of high school. While little old me hid in the shadows of our long, twisted hallways, barely anyone noticed me, except for him. I never understood what he saw in me back then. He could have had almost any girl he wanted, and yet, he chose me. Of course, he never let me forget it, either.
So many times I feared he'd leave me for another, more popular girl, and he didn't shy away from flirting with them in front of me. To show me he could if he wanted to.
"So, what are you doing for a living?" he slurred.
"I'm on a sabbatical of sorts," I said.
"That's cool," Noah said nonchalantly.
"You?" I twirled the ends of my hair, my eyes glassy.
Before Noah could respond, another familiar face approached us. "Noah? Elle? What is this? Are we back in high school again?”
Peter stood there with a sweeping smile across his face. He punched Noah in the arm and reached in to give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Peter's wedding band sparkled under the lights.
"We are just catching up. I'm only in town for a few days," I said, swaying slightly on my chair. Noah put a firm hand on my thigh to steady me.
"Well, you two have fun, but not too much fun!" Peter tipped his head back and cackled.
"So, Peter's still weird, huh?" I asked after he'd walked away.
"Yeah, but he's filthy fucking rich," Noah said.
I stared after Peter and absorbed the sight of him: still tall and lanky with luscious blond curls. "Rich, huh?”
"He's one of the richest bastards in Keygate," Noah said.
"You guys still best friends?”
"Yeah, we're tight."
“And, he found someone to marry him?”
“Yeah, some broad from down south. They met while he was on vacation with his first wife.”
My jaw nearly dropped. “First wife?”
“He’s on number two, but I wouldn’t doubt it if he fucks this one up too. Always going to a strip club in town or long weekends away.”
I couldn't help but shake my head. We finished the last of our drinks, and Noah stared at me expectantly.
"You look really pretty," he said as he reached out to caress my cheek with the back of his hand.
I flinched at his touch, but then closed my eyes. The liquor sloshing in my stomach told me to embrace the moment, and I did so without complaint. I opened my eyes, and Noah's gaze burned into my soul. My pulse quickened and rattled me to my bones.
"Now what?" I asked, my voice shaking.
"Do you want to go somewhere?”
I thought about it for a few moments. We were both intoxicated, but I wanted to be alone with him. He still held part of my heart captive after all this time. I hated myself for it. I'd let the guy mistreat me for years throughout our relationship. I lowered my standards and neglected my self-worth to be with the boy I loved. Unfortunately for me, he also adored attention and would do anything to get it.
I hated him, but even the deepest of anger toward someone wasn't always strong enough to ward off affection for them too. You could despise a person but want nothing more than to be in their arms. Love was funny that way. Part of me understood I was making a mistake, but I didn't care. When you were down as far as you could go and hit rock bottom, nothing mattered.
"Sure, let's go," I said.
Visions of Zac danced in my mind. I pushed the memory of him to the side. Noah tipped the bartender, and we walked out hand in hand.
Eight
"Where do you want to go?" I asked curiously.
"I have an idea," Noah said as we reached his car.
A shiny Hyundai had replaced the beater I remembered. "Nice wheels.”
"Yeah. It's alright." Noah opened the door for me, which was another significant change from high school.
I sat down, heard the click of my seat belt snap securely in place, and for a moment, the car spun before my eyes. I shouldn't have had so much to drink. If I'd kept my original plan and only had one, I wouldn't be in this situation.
"Well?" I asked.
He started the car, and before pulling out of the parking lot, he scanned the road for police.
"Are you sure you're okay to drive?” I could have easily driven if I needed to. At this point in time, buzzed driving was the norm for me.
He guffawed. "Of course.”
As a former officer who routinely pulled drunk drivers over, I knew he wasn't able to drive safely. And yet, I let him do it anyway.
He cruised to lower town, toward the river. The moon reflected upon the water like floating diamonds being carried with the current. I pressed the button to bring my passenger window down and let the breeze make a mess of my hair. The liquor continued to fuel the electricity in my body. I let out an unexpected holler into the night.
Noah looked over with an amused grin.
Before I realized what was happening, he parked the car and turned off the ignition. I looked around, and the familiar pang of the place radiated throughout my body.
"Here?" I whispered.
"I figured it'd be fun for old time's sake," he said.
Although the car was off, the radio stayed on. Noah plugged his iPhone into the car and turned on some music. In the next instant, I realized what he'd put on: a mix I'd made him many years ago. However, instead of a CD, it was playing through his phone.