Zane laughed. ‘Should I even ask who Martin is? While you lying to your husband obviously hasn’t changed, other things have, which is what I need to discuss with you.’
‘Not tonight.’ Hannah ended the call and slipped the phone back into her pocket. She leaned against the wall, her legs trembling. She closed her eyes, the wretched feelings of twelve years earlier resurfacing as she thought back to what she’d done.
Nat’s laughter infiltrated her thoughts. Bloody Nat. On top of everything else that was going on tonight, there was Nat undermining her when it came to Amy and the horse-riding opportunity. Her eyes jolted open. She might not be able to control the Zane Fox situation, but she could definitely make her feelings on this issue very clear.
Phyllie rose as Hannah re-entered the room. ‘Amy, why don’t you come out the back with me? Toby needs to be fed, and I think you and I could manage that between us.’ She glanced across to Sue. ‘Perhaps we could do the cake a little later?’
Sue nodded, and Nat watched as Amy followed Phyllie through to the kitchen to prepare the cocker spaniel’s dinner. Cold, angry eyes met hers when she glanced at Hannah. It appeared her phone call had done nothing to cool her anger over the horse-riding discussion. Nat silently counted how many seconds it would take before Hannah exploded.
Exactly four.
‘Why did you do that? You know why I don’t want her on a horse. Jesus, I hardly have to spell it out.’
Nat rolled her eyes. ‘Oh, come on. The likelihood of her having an accident is slim. She’ll be under supervision and wearing a helmet. It’s not a big deal. You worry too much.’
Hannah closed her eyes, rubbing her hand against her forehead. ‘How can you be so flippant about it after what happened?’
‘Mum was unlucky,’ Nat said. ‘In all your facts and figures, how many of the twenty who die each year are thrown from their horse because a snake bites it?’
‘You don’t have to be thrown, just falling off and hitting your head can be enough to kill you.’
‘You’re being ridiculous. You let her go in the car every day, yet according to you, one thousand one hundred and forty-six people died last year in car accidents in Australia. Does that mean you’re irresponsible for allowing her in the car? And you let her eat. Didn’t you say death by choking was up seventeen percent? Perhaps we should start pureeing her food?’
Hannah opened her mouth and closed it again. She turned away momentarily and shook her head before turning back to Nat. ‘You’re not a parent. You sail along in life only having to look after yourself, and from what you’ve told us tonight about being fired again, you can’t even do that successfully. Don’t tell me how to parent my child and don’t undermine me like that in front of her.’
Nat pushed her chair back. There was no point trying to have a discussion with Hannah. She managed to get in as many digs at Nat as possible. ‘You know, Phyllie’s right. She said we are here for a celebration of Mum’s life, not an argument. How about you respect that?’
‘Me? This is a discussion and, if anything, I’m voicing exactly what Mum would say.’
Damien cleared his throat. ‘David and Sue didn’t invite us here tonight to listen to you two arguing. Hannah and I will clear the table and do the dishes while you all relax by the fire.’
Nat didn’t look at Hannah as she made her way out of the room. It was on nights like this she wished her mother was still alive. She would love confirmation that Hannah was in fact her sister. If she’d been told she was adopted, or they had different fathers, life would make a lot more sense.
Nat didn’t retreat to the family room as Damien had suggested, instead she checked that Phyllie and Amy had returned from feeding Toby before letting herself out of the back door and into the large courtyard that led to her father’s lush green lawn. Toby was at her side immediately as she shivered, wishing she’d put her coat on first. She picked up the ball Toby dropped at her feet and threw it across the dark lawn, watching as the cocker spaniel rushed after it. She let out a deep breath, tears pricking her eyes. She had enough to deal with today without Hannah adding to it.
She froze as the back door opened and footsteps followed after her. She needed time by herself right now. She turned, fury rising within her as Hannah approached her. She wasn’t going to put up with any more of her attitude and criticisms tonight. ‘Leave me alone. I’ve got a lot on my mind and I’m really not interested in arguing with you again.’
Hannah put her hands up. ‘This isn’t the night to be arguing about anything. We’ve all got a lot going on and need to set it aside as best we can for Dad’s sake, if nothing else.’
How about for my sake? Nat thought as she stared at her sister. How about an apology?
‘It’s freezing out here.’ Hannah wrapped her arms around herself. ‘Why don’t you come back in by the fire?’
‘And wait for you to remind me again that I’m not a parent so I can’t have an opinion or to take your next dig at me?’
‘Dig?’
‘Yes, that I should have known better than to take a client home. That I’m constantly disappointing everyone. Have you got any idea how belittling it is? How embarrassed I am to have to tell you all?’ Nat’s cheeks flamed with heat as she spat the words at Hannah.
Hannah shook her head. ‘I worry about you, that’s all. I guess I want to make you see things my way sometimes. That some of the situations you put yourself in are avoidable.’
‘I know they are, Hannah. It’s not like I go out deliberately looking to sabotage my job or my life. But when someone’s in need I’m not going to turn them away. I’ll deal with the consequences.’
‘But surely . . .’
This time Nat held up her hand. ‘No, you listen for once. I don’t need your suggestions or your risk assessment of my actions. I just need you to let me live my life. My stuff-ups have no impact on you at all. I’m not asking you for somewhere to live or for money to get by on. I’m actually not asking you for anything, particularly not your opinion. I know what that is before you even open your mouth.’
Hannah’s phone rang, distracting her. Her face paled as she looked at the screen, switched it off and slipped it back into her pocket. Something was definitely going on, Nat thought. Hannah was unusually flustered.
She cleared her throat and returned her gaze to Nat. ‘You’re wrong.’
‘Of course I am.’ Nat marched past Hannah towards the back door. ‘I’m always wrong, according to you.’
Hannah grabbed her arm, stopping her before she could disappear inside. Her voice was gentle. ‘I meant you’re wrong that your problems don’t have any impact on me. Of course they do. I just want what’s best for you.’
Nat shook Hannah’s hand off her arm. ‘No, you want to control me, just like you do with Amy and Damien. You want us all to conform to how life should be lived according to Hannah. That’s never going to happen with me, you should have worked that out by now. However, the one thing I will agree with you on is tonight. We both need to put on our best behaviour for Dad’s sake. Tonight is supposed to be about Mum, about celebrating her life.’ She didn’t wait for Hannah’s reaction, but opened the door and let herself back inside.