A few minutes later, I’m standing next to the pastor, a man I’ve known my whole life. My best friends are at my side, my gaze drifting over my entire family and Stevie’s. This is it. This is the beginning of everything.
The wedding march starts and I see her walking on the arm of her dad. She’s dressed in white, a dress that is all lace and hits her right below her knees. She looks perfect, better than she did at prom a month ago.
I smile as her eyes catch mine. She stumbles, then she stops. I move to go toward her, thinking that she’s stuck or twisted her ankle when her eyes widen. Her hand drops from her father’s and she turns around.
“Stevie?” I call out.
Before I can even take one step, she has her shoes kicked off and she’s running. I hear people around me gasping, my mama wails and my daddy reaches out, wrapping his hand around my shoulder, squeezing so that I can’t run after her.
“Let her go, son,” he rumbles.
Turning my head to look at him, my eyes well up with tears. “Dad?” I ask.
He shakes his head once. “Y’all are young,” he murmurs. “Maybe she just ain’t ready. Tomorrow things’ll look different. Clearer.”
I can’t stand here while everyone looks at me. Completely embarrassed, without a word to anyone, I leave. I run in the opposite direction, toward the little house that I have all ready for us.
Opening the door, I slam it behind me, then make my way toward our future bedroom. I sink to my ass in the room that we are supposed to be sharing together and I fucking cry. Like a pussy, I cry.
Things don’t look clearer the next day, because Stevie is gone. I stand on her front porch, right next to that fucking swing, and I beg her parents to tell me where she’s gone. Her parents refuse to tell me where she went and so do her friends. Nobody will tell me a fucking thing.
I don’t see her again, not for ten years.
I make my way out to California where I heard she was living. It doesn’t take me long to find her, when I do, it breaks my heart all over again because the girl I once knew is gone. A stranger has replaced her and she hasn’t missed me a single day since she walked away, breaking my entire fucking world.
Chapter One
STEPANIE
Gallup, Texas.
It’s not even on the map, just a little dot, no name next to it. That’s how small my hometown is. I haven’t been there in seventeen years. I turned my back and I ran out of town as fast as humanly possible.
I left behind everyone and everything that I ever knew. Including, a boy. The boy. I hurt that boy. He loved me with his entire heart, and I crushed him. That’s probably why I haven’t ever made my way back here.
Seeing him again would be inevitable and it would probably break me. Seeing him happy with someone else, now that could destroy me.
Ford Buchannan Matthews.
God, just thinking his name sends a shiver throughout my entire body. He’s old school Texan, born and raised on the same land his daddy was born and raised on. If you looked up a modern Texas cowboy, there’d probably be a picture of him as the definition.
Driving through the miniscule town, I wonder how it has pretty much stayed the exact same as when I left almost twenty years ago. How has nothing changed? I recognize every single landmark, it looks a little older, but still the exact same.
Turning down the lane where I once lived with my family, I stop across the street and look at the old house. It definitely could use some paint, there’s a shutter hanging on by a thread, but the porch swing is still there, swaying with the breeze.
Gripping the steering wheel, I should be wondering who lives there now. Does a little girl sleep in the same room that I did? Is the light-pink crown molding still outlining the entire room? Are there still stick-on glowing stars on the ceiling?
Instead, I know exactly what lies behind the walls of the old house. Emptiness and a whole lot of memories that I’ve been trying to forget about for almost two decades.
Opening the car door, I step out on to the dirt and gravel. My high heels are going to be ruined, but I don’t care, I have dozens more. That seems to be the theme of my life these days, it doesn’t matter if something is ruined, I have more, I can buy more. But none of it makes me happy.
Walking around the front of the car, I stop on the passenger side. I can’t seem to go any farther. Instead, I lean against the door of the rental car as I look out at the house.
I can’t believe I’m back here.
I never thought that I would cross the city limit sign again. There were times that I wanted nothing more than to come back to my roots. Back to the last place that I felt at peace.
Coming here brings back memories that I never thought I wanted to revisit, memories that hurt so damn bad. There are things that I did. Things that undoubtedly caused more pain than I could ever imagine. Just driving around makes that guilt crawl up my throat and threaten to choke me.
I hear the gravel crunch beside me, I turn my head to the side. I can’t help but smile at the little girl on the bicycle. I didn’t realize kids even rode bikes anymore. She has plastic tassels hanging from her handlebars, too. I had them just like that once upon a time, except mine were orange and neon green.
“Why are you watching old man LaRue’s house?” she asks.
Frowning, I look from the house to her. “Old man LaRue?”
She nods, her missing-toothed grin flashing. “Well it was his before his fancy daughter moved him out and all the way to California. Now it just sits empty. Most folks say it’s haunted.”
My lips curve up into a small smile. “It’s not haunted,” I say.
But hell, maybe it is. Maybe that’s exactly what it is. Haunted with memories of the past, of a life that was left behind to be forgotten.
“You’re pretty. What’s your name?” she asks.
Licking my lips, I open my mouth to give her my stage name, one that I’ve been using for seventeen years. It feels more like my name these days than my actual birth name. I hesitate for some reason.
“Stephanie,” I say, the name tumbling from my lips without me being able to stop myself.
She nods, then shifts back onto her pedals. “By y’all,” she calls out before she starts to pedal her bike down the road.
I watch her for a moment before my gaze shifts back to the old house.
My old house now.
Unable to take another step toward the house, I walk back around my car, slipping into the driver’s seat. Starting the engine, I let out a heavy sigh as I shift the car into drive and head toward the hotel.
I snort, hotel, yeah. It’s a motel at best. The only one in town and their idea of a suite is a room with a mini-fridge. I’ll be lucky if I can get a non-smoking room and hot water. I drive through the town square, needing to see for myself if anything at all has changed.
It hasn’t.
The storefronts may not be decorated like they were twenty years ago, but everything is exactly as it was. This place is like being in a time warp. Nothing changes. Not even the clothes of the people walking around.
Deciding I need a break and some food, I park right in front of the diner, one that I don’t think will ever go away. My eyes travel the people walking up and down the sidewalk, not that there are many.