Prologue
SEVENTEEN YEARS AGO
STEPHANIE
One week until my wedding day, the wedding. I still can’t believe that I’m going to get married. My father lets out a loud snore from his recliner, my body jumps from the sound at the same time there’s a knock on the front door.
I know by the softness, by the two raps, then a pause before there are two more raps, that it’s Ford on the other side. My stomach twists and I feel a sharp stabbing pain as I make my way toward my front door.
I’ve been feeling this way for weeks, every time the wedding is mentioned, every time I think about it, every time I do something for it.
Something isn’t right, and my trip to the doctor today led me no closer to an answer. He said I was perfectly fine, that it was probably just wedding day jitters. But it’s not, it’s bigger than that.
Tugging the door open slowly. I slip outside and tilt my head toward the porch swing. Without looking into Ford’s eyes, I make my way to the swing and slowly sit down before I bring my knees up to my chest.
Ford sits next to me, lifting one of his arms and slinging it across the back of the swing. Turning my head to the side, I rest my cheek on my knee and finally look over at him. He takes up most of the swing while I’m curled in the corner.
I close my eyes for a moment when his fingers touch my hair, playing and feeling the strands between his fingertips.
“It’s late,” I whisper, opening my eyes to look over at him.
He nods, his gaze focused straight ahead as his fingers continue to play with my hair. “It is,” he finally says.
Then I watch as he turns his gaze toward me. Those blue eyes find mine and my breath hitches at the sight. They’re so intense, they’re full of every emotion that’s rolling through him. They look nothing like I’m sure mine do. He looks at peace, happy. I feel nothing but turmoil.
He inhales through his nose, and I watch as his nostrils flare.
Ford Matthews is probably the sexiest man that I have ever seen. Not that I’ve seen many men in my short eighteen years, but there is just something about him. His tanned skin, his blue eyes, his light brown hair, the way he watches me with an intensity that makes my skin heat.
Something isn’t right for me though. I see the way other girls look at him, how they’ve always looked at him. Do I look at him the same way? I don’t know anymore. Is this really what I want for the rest of my life?
Do I really want to stay here in Gallup with the only man that I have ever kissed? I have always dreamed of being bigger than Stephanie LaRue, than Stephanie Matthews.
“What would you think about moving away?” I ask for the millionth time.
Ford lets out a long sigh. “If I leave, who will help my daddy run the ranch?”
I shrug a shoulder. “What about one of your cousins?”
He lets out a snort. “Stevie, you know those halfwits would cause him more of a headache than they would actually help. This cattle ranch has been in my family since my granddaddy started it. His daddy bought the land and lived off of it. It’s my legacy. I love it there. Never even thought about leaving, not once.”
Pressing my lips together, I pinch my eyes closed as my stomach wrenches. Is this really what I want? I love Ford more than I could have ever imagined, could I love another person?
There’s nobody else for me and I know that he’d make me happy, but I wonder what I’ll regret if I stay? Will I eventually become bitter because I didn’t try to fulfill my dreams?
What am I missing out in the world?
ONE WEEK LATER
FORD
Wyatt chuckles as he watches me pace nervously. Lifting my hand, I ball my fingers into a fist and punch him in the arm. The action only makes him laugh harder. Wyatt is my best friend, him and Beaumont. The only two guys that I have by my side today, the only two that I want here.
“Your mama happy?” Beau asks.
I shrug a shoulder. “Hell no,” I snort.
My mama dislikes Stevie, she always has. She thinks that Stevie has her nose up in the air, that she thinks she’s better than everyone else. She also thinks we’re too young to get married. But I know that just isn’t true. I’ve loved Stevie my whole life, and she’s the sweetest girl I’ve ever known.
Everything about her is absolute perfection.
I love her.
I’ve loved her since she was five years old and I never stopped. She’s the only girl I’ve ever even noticed, the only one who has ever existed for me. My first kiss, my first everything. I’ve never wanted to even touch another woman. Just her, and soon she’s going to be my wife.
Mine.
She doesn’t know it yet, but my daddy gave me the one-bedroom ranch hand house at the back of the property. It’s been empty for about five years, but I’ve been working nights and waking up early every morning to fix it up for us.
It isn’t much, but it’s just enough for us.
I stripped the whole fucking place, put in new carpet and linoleum, replaced the sinks and hardware. I even painted the whole inside of the place light yellow, because that’s my girl’s favorite color. The outside is all Texas limestone with wooden shutters, the limestone was still in good shape, but I had to make new shutters and stain them.
One bedroom, one bathroom, a small dining room and a smaller living space with a coffee table is about all we’ll have. I also spent my weekends making some of the furniture myself.
A small wooden table, a coffee table, a headboard, and a nightstand. I found a dresser secondhand and stripped and painted it white.
The mattress, sofa, and dining chairs we’ll have to figure out, but I guess that we’ll be getting some money from the wedding, so maybe we can grab some of those things secondhand?
Stevie already told me she got tons of kitchen shit at her bridal shower. She laughed about it at the time, because she doesn’t know that we have a place to live. We’re pretty much going to be set in our new life, in the small ranch hand house, and I can’t wait. It won’t be much, but it’s more than some people have and we can only go up from here.
“You ready?” a voice asks.
Turning my head, I look back to see my dad standing at the door. We’re in my bedroom, the wedding is here at the ranch, a simple day with friends and family. A barbeque, sides, and cake. It’s perfect and simple.
“More than ready,” I say.
Beau and Wyatt both pull me back after my dad walks away. Turning to them, I frown. “What’s up?”
“This is crazy. But we just wanted to say we’re really fuckin’ happy for you,” Beau says with a grin.
Jerking my chin, I smile. “Thanks, y’all. You’ll be next, just wait and see.”
They both snort, shaking their heads. “Not anytime soon,” Wyatt mutters.
His eyes are dark and I instantly regret my words, remembering how things with him and Sammie have been, how he thought they were getting married too, and have a family. I open my mouth to apologize, but Wyatt just lifts his hand, grabbing onto my shoulder with a squeeze.
“This is your day, Ford. I’m happy for you,” he murmurs.
“Let’s get you married, that way I can check out those bridesmaids.” Beau chuckles, giving us a wink, effectively changing the topic and lightening the mood.