"Here or at Donny's. You choose.” He stroked her hair as his hard edginess began to dissolve. At least she wasn’t arguing about it.
"I'm dying of hunger. Donny's.” Without looking back, she pulled the door open and scampered into the hallway and down the stairs.
With an exasperated exhale, he locked the apartment and followed her down in a few long-legged strides.
* * *
Donny's wasn’t too far, and the weather was invigorating, so they decided to walk. The streets of Manhattan were always charged with a wonderful magnetic energy, filled with thousands of people on their way someplace, day or night. It was so different than boring Bay Ridge. Kristen wasn't looking forward to this interrogation or confrontation, whatever it turned out to be. Actually, she was dreading it.
Why can’t things stay nice and calm like they were at first, at least with Jake. It’s bad enough I have to contend with Logan's unpredictability and neurosis.
They ordered omelets and cappuccinos. It would've been nicer to sit outside, but it was too crowded and Jake wanted privacy. The table he picked was all the way in the back and secluded enough for his purposes. He guided her to it. No more games. I’m in charge for a change.
She slid into the booth and was surprised when he glided in next to her.
"Does this mean I'm trapped?"
For a few seconds, he found himself gazing into her eyes with a temporary loss of his train of thought. Bouncing back to reality, her words sank in. "If that's what you need, yes.”
There was a sudden skepticism in her eyes as she pondered his words. The Black Foxxes started to play over the speakers, just loud enough to keep people from eavesdropping. The waitress set down the cappuccinos.
Kristen sipped her coffee, hesitant to start the conversation, but knowing it was inevitable. "Well, what do you want to know?"
Jake nodded. "What happened with your husband? Why were you hiding out in the park on Friday?" He wasn't sure where to start, but figured getting straight to the point was best.
A wave of anxiety rose in Kristen's chest. From the grim expression on his face, she knew she had no choice. "I left him about three weeks ago. I stayed at a friend's house for five days. Then I went back.” As she digested her own words, she began to feel like a fool.
Jake's eyebrows shot upward in surprise. "What happened? Why'd you leave?" His temperature was rising rapidly as he began to form his own theory in his head. "What did he do?" Realizing his voice was getting louder, he looked around, shifting his weight in an effort to get comfortable.
The waitress brought their orders, lingering a little too long at their table.
Maybe talking at Donny's wasn't the greatest idea. Her stomach was turning with sharp, nauseating flip flops.
"What did he do? Well…mainly very rough sex... and hurting me when we did it. He wanted to experiment with other people, usually the three of us. But then it got freakier and freakier.” She rattled on uncontrollably, hiding under a layer of hair that fell across her face.
Oh, this is getting really good. Jake was getting agitated. "Hurting you... How?" His breaths were becoming jagged now.
All of a sudden, Kristen lost it. "JUST HURTING ME, OK!" Unintentionally, her voice rose. Her chest heaved as she battled to ward off the tears welling up. "Please Jake, don't make me get into this now!" she pleaded.
He watched with compassion, but decided he couldn't back down. Instead, he was determined to go a little easier on her. "Ok, so he hurt you. I get it. How bad?"
"How bad?" She couldn't think now. A hot flush spread across her face.
"Have some water, and calm down, okay?" He stroked her hand, easing up. She quickly gulped it, coughing a little. "Relax and eat."
Ever so slowly, Jake could see her tremors subsiding as she began to relax. Until that moment he had no idea how bad her relationship with Logan was. Now he was compelled to be gentle.
They ate in silence for a few minutes. Kristen was grateful that he had chilled out, especially since she was famished and close to passing out. Maybe he would feel so sorry for her he would back off or even forget. Yeah right! She laughed to herself, checking him out through the corner of her eye. He was rapidly shoveling food in his mouth, probably getting ready for another attack.
"What do you mean hurting you other times? So, he's abusive? Did he send you to the hospital?" He resumed his questioning, leaning in closer.
She put her food down, the mental exhaustion forcing her to relent. "No. It was more like bruises and scratches from the sex. No black eyes or broken bones. But plenty of head games. He was always screwing around, then took it even further by getting involved with his partner.”
Jake squinted, taking in the unusual look she was giving him. "His partner? A guy?" A disgusted look spread across his face.
She nodded, looking down.
"Not cool..." he muttered. So, he's an abusive, sexual deviant nut job trying to break your spirit, he wanted to say, looking at her with increasing sympathy.
She could tell his empathy was building. She was aware she had to hide some of the facts about the early years of their marriage. What if he wouldn’t understand how she had grown out of it? "It got worse and worse. He got off on it and thought I was crazy because I didn't. I couldn't take it anymore. When he left for work, I packed and took off.”
He sat in silence, concentrating on every word as she continued the painful recollection.
"At first I didn't know where I was going. I just sat in my car until I finally got one of my friends on the phone.” Biting her lip, she turned away from him, wiping away tears with the napkin.
Jake couldn't take it anymore. But he had to find out one more thing that he needed to know if he was going to follow through with his rising desire to help her out and protect her. He put his arm around her and pulled her close. She buried her face in his chest. The waitress was heading toward them again with coffee but he waved her away.
"What made you go back, Kristen?"
It took her a few seconds to start talking again. How could she tell him that Logan was like a drug to her? That sometimes she felt like an addict trying to go cold turkey. She spoke without emotion now. "He kept calling me and promising to change. He always blamed it on the drugs. He even promised to go to a shrink and rehab. He showed up outside of my job one morning.” She hesitated, remembering Logan sitting outside, all forlorn and disheveled, those hypnotic blue eyes, pleading and sad. "He was just sitting on a bench looking miserable and sad. He was crying and said he'd kill himself... that he couldn't live without me—" Her voice broke off.
Jake swallowed hard, his eyes moistened from pent up frustration and anger. This is not what I wanted to hear.
She observed him, sensing he thought her actions were crazy, and felt obligated to defend them.
"I wanted to believe him.” With an agonized haze in her eyes, she shook her head at the memory.” For the first couple of days he was extremely depressed and I felt bad for him. Then he went back to work and started acting like how he was when we first met. You know, normal again, none of the rough stuff. Then about a week before I met you, he was getting stoned again and I saw it coming.” She purposely neglected to tell him what had happened when she got home that night. If she did, the fear he would give up on her was suffocating.