Jake's hand was warm upon her back, gently steering her through the excited crowd toward the bar. She turned her head to look at him and felt and instantaneous rush of heat to her face. He looked so incredibly sensuous and handsome her eyes stung with tears of contentment. She giggled to herself wondering if he had a clue how hot he was.
Once they were at the bar he leaned in to kiss her. Pushing her hair out of her eyes, she caught a glimpse of herself in the large muted mirror in front of them and raised her eyebrows with surprised satisfaction. The sudden realization that she could turn a few heads herself was exhilarating.
"You look gorgeous, baby.” His lips brushed her neck as he whispered.
Kristen beamed with happiness, holding onto his arm. They waited for the bartender to bring their beer, then squeezed through the throngs of people already prancing in anticipation around the stage. After a few minutes of weaving in and out of the crowd they finally discovered a dark corner. He gave her a gentle push to the wall, his arms locking her in.
"I love you, babe," he whispered in her ear. As soon as he said it he regretted it. Somehow it just slipped out of his mouth. He never intended to expose what was brewing in his heart. Feeling like a fool, he stared into the dim lights filtering through the darkness.
Astounded by his words, she sucked in her breath. A sudden bashfulness overcame her and she looked away, searching for the way to react. It had been a long time since she heard those words spoken to her with such sincerity, and without having sexual demands attached.
The band exploded onto the stage. A loud roar ripped through the audience as they started surging closer and closer to the stage. Jake found himself sweating from the mounting discomfort. Why didn’t she answer me? Instead she withdrew and went pale. Unable to stand it any longer, he peeked at her. She was still rigid and withdrawn, but a strange look masked her face. Returning his attention to the band, he tried to compose himself, ignoring the jittery feeling simmering inside of him.
The blasting alternative rock and roll music rattled the room, making it impossible to hear anything else.
Kristen couldn’t stop playing his words over and over in her mind. Ever since he said them he had become uncomfortably distant. She was desperate to believe him and erase the uneasiness. Maybe he really meant what he said. Slowly raising her eyes to him, she finally summoned the courage.
"I love you.” Closing her eyes, she whispered the barely audible words that were instantly drowned out in the stormy sea of rock and roll.
* * *
Jake decided to put the feelings he'd revealed to Kristen earlier out of his mind. After a couple of joints and some more beer, it became a fuzzy memory. They moved to the crowded dance floor, seeking to release some pent-up energy. The set ended around 1:00 A. M, but the frenzy continued as the D. J. jammed non-stop punk rock.
Soaked with sweat, they made their way to the bar. A huge smile spread across Kristen’s flushed face as she lifted her sopping wet hair off her shoulders. Finally, she had stopped worrying about why Jake clammed up when she told him she loved him. Instead, she let herself be drawn into the maze of serenity that music always propelled her into. Tonight she promised herself she would forgo her usual over-analyzation and simply relax and enjoy the moment.
Jake was watching her with pride, amazed at how sensual she looked. His eyes were shining with a mixture of desire and affection as he gazed at her. She latched onto his belt and pulled him to her, about to reach up to kiss him, when someone jerked at his arm.
"Don't you remember me?" A woman stared up at him.
Jake sized up the busty brunette with a bewildered expression. "Nope.” He shook his head, glancing up at Kristen, who wasn’t blinking.
"We met about a month ago at the Pearl Jam concert! Jake, right?" The woman blushed with expectation, tossing her hair off her shoulders.
An angry flush began to rise across Kristen's face. She looked up at Jake, her eyes challenging. "Well—baby—don’t be rude.”
Caught off guard, Jake tried to recover. "Oh yeah! We met one time. How you doing?" With a discreet movement, he shook his arm free from her grip.
"Right!" The brunette gave him a dirty look. "See ya!" In an instant, she blended back into the crowd.
Jake laughed it off with an amused shrug, looking away.
"Girlfriend?" Kristin was not about to let it go.
"What? No. We just met at some concert..." He lamely fumbled for the words. "I don't even remember her name!"
"Really? Well she sure knew yours!" She was burning up, her eyes ablaze. Although she felt like a total jerk for being so jealous, she couldn't help it. As her embarrassment increased she became nervous that he would notice, and turned to walk away.
Jake couldn’t avoid the anger in her eyes and suddenly became so annoyed by it he reached a boiling point. He grabbed her arm, pulling her to him. "What are you so mad about anyway? You're married, remember?" His face was contorted with a mixture of agitation, rage, and hurt that confused him.
"Because I love you!" After she blurted it out she froze in disbelief. Wishing she could turn back time and erase her words, she struggled to control her urge to cry in shame.
The fire in his eyes disappeared as he took her hand in his. "Let's get outta here!"
Kristen was numb from mental and physical exhaustion. She didn't want to think anymore. That way she could forget what an insane fool she was. It was bad enough she had told him she loved him two times, she then had to make it worse with her ridiculous jealous outburst! At that moment she was so humiliated she didn't want to talk to Jake, or even look at him.
The minute they walked into the apartment she tossed her bag onto the table, headed straight to the bathroom, and sank to the floor. The room was spinning and she held onto the toilet bowl, fighting back the sudden urge to vomit.
Jake had been watching her through the corner of his eye during the silent drive home. He couldn't stop smiling, relishing her words. Finally, the fact that she was married was completely irrelevant. He even overlooked his humiliation from her failure to respond to him after he accidentally told her he loved her. Because he was so wrapped up in his thoughts, her withdrawn behavior didn't register until she burst past him and fled to the bathroom. He followed her with uncertainty, waiting by the bathroom door. The silence was unnerving, but he was hesitant to invade her privacy by going in to check on her.
"Baby, are you okay in there?"
"No... Yes… Don't come in, okay?" In a state of panic, she pleaded.
"I won't, okay? Just tell me that you're okay!"
The nausea was creeping up on her again, smothering her. All the drinking, stress, and lack of sleep was catching up with her. "Yes... just please... I just need to be alone right now..." Closing her eyes, she struggled to stop the incessant spinning.
Jake couldn’t understand what was going on with her. First, she said she loved him, now she was holed up in the bathroom avoiding him. He removed his shoes, flinging them across the room in frustration. Hoping to calm down, he continued undressing. When that didn’t work he flipped on some music, but still couldn’t stop fidgeting, and crouched down by the bathroom door again. After five long minutes his impatience was uncontrollable. He gave up and flung the door open, stunned to find her curled up on the floor, fast asleep.