The sounds of the room hit my consciousness all at once. Maybe I was in some kind of shock, because I hadn’t noticed how noisy the room was right away. But it was. There was a constant buzzing in the air. All of those pods made quite a racket altogether. Super Soldiers guarded the entrances and exits as though the people in the pods might suddenly wake up and try to flee. None of them made eye contact with me, and I couldn’t help but understand why my guys sometimes questioned their humanity. There was something almost inhuman about the way these men seemed to stare through me, as though they didn’t see me as someone. As though I didn’t quite exist to them.
Xavier stopped, but I didn’t need him to direct me where to look. To my left, lined in a row, were my guys. Tears flooded my eyes, and somehow, from an inner strength I didn’t know I possessed, I managed to blink them away without anyone seeing them. Not that I could really hide it when Super Soldiers surrounded me. They could hear my heartbeat; they’d know the second that I sucked in my breath what I’d managed to do. Hell, maybe they could smell it.
I stared at my guys and forced all other thoughts from my mind. They didn’t help, and I couldn’t control what others were capable of doing or not doing. I could zap with just a thought. We all had our blessings and burdens. It was what it was.
There they were. Corbin was first and closest to me. His long hair was tucked behind his ears. I studied the dials and indicators on the outside. I wasn’t sure what they meant. Heck, I couldn’t even use the light switches in my bedroom before he’d showed me how. But I hoped whatever they said, it meant that he was okay. His face was the most passive I’d ever seen it, and I couldn’t tell a thing by looking at him. Please be okay.
All of the men lined up looked the same as though the process that put them in cryogenic sleep caused that expression on their faces. I touched the glass.
“He’s fine,” the doctor snapped at me as though I’d asked him. I absolutely hadn’t, so I ignored his remark. “But he doesn’t have to stay that way.”
And there was the threat. I’d known it would be coming. I ignored that too. Next up was Devil. I’d never seen him when he didn’t look somehow both tense and amused at the same time. But not now. It was as though he wasn’t there at all. I took my hand from Corbin’s glass and touched Devil’s. I was going to make contact with each of them this way if I had anything to do about it.
Maybe they knew I was there. I’d reached out in my cryogenic sleep to Wade. It was possible.
In fact, maybe there was something I could do.
I pushed my thought at Corbin. Corbin. It was what I did with Wade. I hadn’t tried it with the others. It had just been my thing with my sweet doctor. But now would be a really great time for it to work.
I wasn’t sure if it did. He didn’t open his eyes or reply in any way, but it seemed to me that the lights on his machine flashed quite a lot when I did that. Maybe that was some kind of response. I tried again. This time with Devil. Dev.
Next up was Kellan. His head was actually turned to the side with the same serene expression that I hated on the others. It was just unnatural. These weren’t men who were passive. They were in constant struggle, even if it was in their own minds. Kellan. The sweet man who wanted me to zap him. He’d actually asked for it before he’d given me his utter devotion. I hadn’t known exactly how to handle that, having never had it before. I was still trying to figure that out, and now more than ever, I was determined to see to it that we’d figure it out together.
Like the others, his lights brightened in intensity. Was it possible his even more so than the other two? I wasn’t sure. I wished I could understand them.
If I ever got the chance to safely do it, I was going to ask Wade to explain it to me. Of course, that would mean deafening the Super Soldiers. Sometimes their extrasensory abilities could be troubling and not helpful.
Although more times than not, I was grateful for them.
I stepped toward Blaze, and my chest tightened. I was trying really hard to be brave about this, but there he was, the sweet man who led them all. He needed someone to look after him, but with that serene expression, it wasn’t going to happen right now. Blaze. The same response greeted me. At least it was something, even if I was looking for something that wasn’t there.
And finally, there was Anders, who had cared how I felt immediately upon meeting me. He was so kind inside I wondered how he didn’t see it. I placed my hand over the glass and held on like it was the only thing that could keep me alive. Somehow, it felt that way. Anders. The lights lit up as the others had.
“You must really be some kind of a fuck for them to have all fought the way they did to try to prevent this from happening.”
I stiffened my back. If Wade had been here, he’d have tried to hit him for saying that. I turned toward him. He wanted a reaction from me, a big one, or he wouldn’t have said such a thing. I glanced to my left. Xavier and the others in here would certainly stop me if I attempted violence. Not to mention, he could probably end my guys’ lives if I even reacted at all. He’d use my response as a means to hurt them. One button pressed and they might be dead.
“I must be.” I smiled at him as though he’d given me a great compliment. As if I didn’t want to rip his eyes out every second I was with him. “Shall we go back to the med bay? I’m afraid I need to lie down. I’m so sick.” I pretended to cough, and he jolted. Yes, he really was worried about how sick he’d made me. Evander had a cure for me. They never made a disease they couldn’t cure. Wade had told me that. But that didn’t mean that this asshole in front of me had access to those cures. If he got sick, he might be as bad off as I was, minus Wade’s good care to keep him going.
I needed to keep that in mind. I’d never wanted to hurt anyone.
He extended his hand. “You’re not easily rattled.”
“Why would I be rattled?” I stepped past him toward the door. Yes, let him think I was stupid, too. I’d never had to trade in deception in my life. My whole existence revolved around opening myself up and telling people the truth. But here I was, lying to this man, and I intended to do so until I got what I wanted—and that was all of us safe and out of here. “You made a promise, and I believe you’ll keep it. If I behave, they’ll be fine.”
He blinked, and I watched as his expression changed in a second. Yes, he had just discovered I was a fucking idiot. Or at least that was what I was going to let him think from here on out.
I smiled. And I’d be a sweetheart, too. Well, I’d pretend to be. “Thank you for showing me the guys.”
“You’re welcome.”
Yes, he thought he’d stumbled upon gold with me. I swallowed the bile rising in my throat and followed where he led. It had occurred to me, as I pretended, just how I was going to have to beat this man and take over the ship. The question was could I do it without killing myself in the process.
I stared behind me for a second as my guys vanished from view. I wouldn’t let anything happen to them. Not ever. Even if that meant I had to feel the emotion of every person on this ship until they were so drained they couldn’t keep their heads upright after.
I chewed on my bottom lip. This would be the biggest undertaking I’d ever attempted, and it would be absolutely fantastic if I could get my number down from seven before I did it. Although I might not have any choice. I couldn’t control what my numbers did. If I had to take them down while I was at a seven or even higher, I would do so. I would point the arrow that was my strange abilities and weaponize them until I had back everyone I’d fallen for. They were mine. In the whole empty, cold universe, they belonged to me.