Her head tilts just a fraction as she looks up at me.
I've ,never needed something more than I need your acceptance. Because I will never force you to feel something you can’t. The life I live appears normal in the eyes of someone on the outside looking in, but to be a part of it, that's when it all changes.”
Taryn
I stare at him, not knowing what to say. How do you respond to something that is so heartfelt, so powerful? He’s being sincere, I know it and I can feel it. What should I do? Isn’t this why I came here, to find something bigger, more meaningful? Granted I never believed this is what I would find, not even for a second. Merick is asking me to take a leap of faith, but am I ready to do that? I don’t even truly understand what’s he’s asking of me.
Before I have the opportunity to change my mind I take a chance. “Come in,” I say quietly as I step back, allowing him to join me inside. His frame is so large that the opening in the doorway seems small in comparison.
Merick removes the black puffer jacket he is wearing and I didn’t think something so simple as the movements of a man could become so hypnotic. I recover quickly, reaching out to take it from him and resist the urge to bring it to my nose, inhaling the masculine scent coming from it. I drape it over the kitchen chair and turn back around to face him.
His dark hair is shaggy and unruly and it’s curling around his jaw. My fingers itch to run through it. I’m imagining the softness gliding against my palm. I shiver and hope immediately that the reaction has gone unnoticed by him.
His size should be intimidating, but there is this calmness in him, this soothing manner that I can’t help but feel too in his presence. Jesus, he’s big. I point to one of the chairs by the fireplace. “Have a seat. C-Can I get you something to drink?”
He smiles, causing the skin around his eyes to crinkle and his alluring brown irises to sparkle. “I’m good, thanks. Come sit, talk to me.” He taps the empty space near him, and I feel my earlier confidence dip.
Choosing to sit in the chair opposite him in order to maintain some much needed distance I see the disappointment in his eyes. “What do you want to talk about?”
“Do you have any questions for me?” His voice is measured yet rough and it causes goosebumps to pop up all over my body, as I do my best to ignore them. My eyes immediately go to his full lips and visions of me kissing them run through my mind. “You’re staring.” His words are laced with humor.
My cheeks heat up with embarrassment. Of course, he noticed me staring at him. I tuck a loose strand of my hair back from my face, letting the heat soak into my skin. Merick sits stoically in his chair, looking like the king of the castle. Can he sense that I’m trying to fight the desire I feel for him, and I am losing the battle fast?
“I should have a million questions.” I do, but honestly, I have no idea where to start. Honestly it all boils down to one specific thing. “You said I remember you,” he nods. “It’s true, I do.” Telling him I’ve dreamt of him often was something I chose to keep to myself, at least for now.
His world though, I know without a doubt is so much different than the one I’ve lived.
We continue to stare at one another—his face gives nothing away, but I can feel so many emotions coming off of him. They’re making my head spin. I grip the arms of my chair and take a deep breath. “What changes?”
“Nothing...everything.” His calmness is somewhat irritating when I’m a complete mess inside. I feel like any moment someone is going to jump out of nowhere and say, gotcha! “Come to my home, let me show you. I promise you can leave at any time.” He slides to the end of his chair, holding his hand out to me. His home, do I want to step into his territory? “Look into my eyes, you will see I’m not going to hurt you, you can trust me.” Hesitantly I place my hand in his, it’s so large it dwarfs my own, but weirdly I find it comforting. The warmth spreads through me as he holds my hand securely, almost protectively. “Taryn, I’d die before I let anything happen to you, I need you to know that. Don’t just hear those words, accept them, believe them.” There isn’t an ounce of reluctance in his voice, and his eyes bore into my own.
The voice inside me tells me to trust him and to go with him, but there’s a small part that is screaming run as fast as I can away from here. “Can you give me the night to think about it? Only tonight and I promise tomorrow I’ll come to your home with you. I’ll listen with an open mind.” Tonight I need time to think, time to analyze it all. I’d let him in, I’d listened and now I have to process everything.— alone. I need time alone. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I would be in this place doing this very thing.
Relief seems to wash over him, and Merick gives me a smile that makes me weak in the knees and causes a desire to pool in my belly.
He stands quickly and lets go of my hand. I hear him inhale deeply as he turns toward the door to leave. Was he attempting to smell me?
I ignore that thought and grab his coat for him. Merick’s fingers graze mine as he grabs it from me. After he shrugs it on, he walks toward the door. “Tomorrow I’ll come back with my truck.”
I look outside and only see my rental. “How did you get here?”
“Through the trees. I’m about a mile from here. It’s a straight line through the forest, a two-story log cabin, you can’t miss it.” He flashes me a smile that makes my belly flip and then winks before stepping outside and down the stairs leading to the snow covered ground.
After he disappears into the trees I close the door and lock it. Completely unsure of what I want to do, I curl up in front of the fire.
I awake with a startle again. The cabin is bathed in darkness and I’m freezing. I roll to my back and listen. A scratching noise can be heard from the back of the cabin. My heart beats rapidly in my chest as I remain perfectly still. Fear chokes me. I grab the blanket, pulling it up tight to my neck as if it alone can somehow protect me. A hissing sound joins the scratching and I know I’m not imagining the noises.
I let go of my blanket and cover my ears, silently praying that whatever it is it would go away. My hands tremble and I can’t block out the noise. What is happening? I reach out and grab the butcher knife off of the coffee table, clutching it to my chest again praying that the opportunity to use it never comes. I can’t do this, I don’t want to. The scratching turns to banging and I jump up seeking out the safest place to hide. Scanning over the space of the cabin I freeze in fear when I see a shadowy figure pass by the window near the kitchen sink. The rattling sound of the handle echoes through the silence and pure adrenaline fills my body. The backdoor bursts open, and I spring in to action doing the first thing that comes to mind.
I run for the front door and without a second thought, I flipped the deadbolt and burst out of the cabin. My first instinct is to hide in the trees, my fear obviously taking over all logic. But when I reached the clearing only one thing, or one person came to mind. In only a pair of wool socks, I run through the snow as fast as I can. Branches off the trees as I pass, smack me in the face.
The cold night air burns my skin as I run faster than I ever have before. I don’t even know if I’m running in the right direction. I can’t think, all I can do is keep moving. He’s said to trust him, he told me he’d never hurt me or allow anyone to hurt me. Merick says he can feel me? Can he tell I’m coming right now? Is he coming to get me?