“What are you talking about?”
I sigh and run my fingers through my hair as I turn away from him.
“OK.” Donovan sighs too. “I get it. I mean, it’s an educated guess. But I think I’ve established my credentials in educated guessing. We put a lot of responsibility on you.”
I look over my shoulder at him. “That’s not what I’m saying. I didn’t do any more than you did. Or Adam.”
“That’s not what I’m saying either. You were responsible for a little girl with a fucked-up mind.”
“So were you. And so was Adam.”
“But you were responsible for her in ways that we were not. So I get it, McKay. She is something to you that she is not to me.”
“She is something to you that she is not to me as well.”
“That’s fair. But if we were five years younger, I wouldn’t be here talking to you about this. I’d just take Indie the way I wanted her and say fuck you both. She and I have been together lots of times, McKay. We practically dated when she was nineteen.”
“When did you two really start?”
“When she was seventeen.”
“You’re an asshole, Donovan.”
“I was only twenty-two.”
“She was a kid.”
“She hasn’t been a kid for a very long time, McKay.”
“Neither have you.”
He sighs. “We’re not five years younger anymore. That good thing we had? It’s long gone, dude. And if you really wanted to keep your current good thing, the one you have right now with that metal art you’re doing?” He shrugs big with his hands and shoulders. “Then you’d have stayed in New Orleans.”
“I’m not staying in New Orleans when this place is my home.”
“Exactly.” He points at me. “We’re building a new good thing. That’s why you’re here. But that scares you. Adam’s love for you is scary, isn’t it? And now that I think about it, it’s not just Adam. It’s everything. You’re afraid of everything. You don’t take chances. Ever. You prepare for shit. You plan. You study all the possible outcomes, and then you choose one path. Just one. And you go rigid. You plant yourself on that path and you do not step out of bounds. If I had a dollar for every time I heard you tell Indie not to take chances on a job, to just follow the fucking plan, I’d be a very rich man.”
“You’re already a very rich man, dumbass.”
He sets his jaw, then kinda juts it out a little as he chews on his lip. His eyes are locked on mine. Not as creepy as usual, but there’s definitely something behind them. Then he lets out a long breath and slowly starts to walk around the island.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I ask.
He shakes his head at me and smiles. “I’m gonna show you that this new good thing we’re building here, it’s not gonna kill you.”
I don’t move. Just stand there as he makes his way around to my side of the island.
“So I’m gonna help you out a bit, OK?”
“What are you talking about?”
He reaches me. But he doesn’t stop. Just comes right up into my personal space. I put both my hands on his bare chest and push him back. It’s a hard push too, one that says I mean business. And Donovan might be all muscle, but he’s lean, and I’ve got at least thirty pounds on him. So he takes that step back.
“We’re gonna kiss.”
“We are not.” I laugh.
“We are. Think of it as practice.”
“Donovan—”
“McKay? Shut the fuck up. I’m just gonna kiss you and we’re gonna get it over with. OK? That way you’re prepared. And when you go to kiss Adam—”
“I’m not kissing Adam. I’m not doing anything with Adam.”
“When you go to kiss Adam, it’ll be part of the plan. And then you don’t have to be afraid.”
I pause and look at him. “Are you… into dudes?”
He shrugs. “Whatever. You’re not just any dude. And look, one day, pretty fucking soon—like tonight maybe—you and I are gonna be in a heated moment with Adam and Indie. She wants it, McKay. Adam wants it. I want it. It’s going to happen. So I’m gonna kiss you eventually. And you’re gonna kiss me. And I’m gonna touch you. And—”
I guffaw again. I cannot believe I’m having this conversation.
Donovan reaches for my cock.
I stop laughing and push him back.
“Too soon?” He grins. “Noted. But you need to get over this. Because your only other option, McKay? Is to walk out. Like you did the day of Indie’s twentieth birthday. But if you do, you should know that Adam won’t come after you again. He’s in a different place now. We all see it. He’s got a new good thing and her name is Maggie. And I’m sure he wants you to be here for it—but if you walk away this time?” Donovan shakes his head. “He’ll let you go. You two have been in a relationship for nearly three decades. He’s been patient. He’s respected you and your beliefs. He did his part and now it’s time for you to do yours. Or just move the fuck on. Because Indie doesn’t belong to you. She belongs to us.”
I blow out a long breath of air filled with words I was gonna say back, but can’t.
Because he’s right. Everything he fucking said was right. I love Adam. I don’t know if I’m in love with Adam. It might be more along the lines of infatuation. But I can’t deny that he and I have something between us. And it wouldn’t be very hard to turn it into more.
When I don’t say anything, Donovan takes another step towards me.
Then his hands are on my face. His fingers thread up into my hair and he leans forward.
And then he kisses me.
CHAPTER THREE - ADAM
Indie gets up from the couch and lingers in the middle of the outdoor living room for a few moments like she’s waiting for me to notice her.
“Something on your mind, Indie?”
She walks over to me and sits on my stomach. I laugh. Then give her a shove to make her get up.
She doesn’t though. She lies down on me, resting her cheek on my chest. I put my hands behind my head because I suddenly don’t know what to do with them and she’s always had a talent for making me nervous. “What’s going on?”
“Hm. Just thinking about stuff.”
“Sounds dangerous.”
“It’s not.” She lifts her head up just a little and smiles. “I have to tell you something.”
“OK.”
She sighs. “I’m sorry.”
I don’t need to ask about what. I know what. “That was a long time ago.”
“That’s not the point. And that’s not even what I mean. I am sorry, Adam. But here’s the part I never told you. I never told anyone. But. I don’t remember it. Time skipped, or something. I can’t explain it, or prove it, and I know it sounds crazy, but I don’t remember hitting you with that candlestick. It’s just… one minute I was standing there watching you—” She stops.
“Watching me beat the fuck out of Nathan?”