Adam probably thought this through after his initial outburst and came to the same conclusion.
The stairs squeak and Donovan appears at the end of the hallway. He stops in front of his bedroom door when he sees me. “What’s up? Maggie go to bed OK?”
I nod and walk towards him. “Yup. She’s in there planning her day tomorrow.”
Donovan smiles at me, nods. “OK. So why are you just standing here?”
I huff out a breath that lifts the hair up around my eyes. And when it settles back down I say, “I need a favor.”
“What kind of favor?”
“I need you to talk to McKay.”
“About?”
“You know. The sex and stuff. I’m tired of bed-hopping. And it’s so freaking clear that he and Adam want to be together, it hurts. And if McKay can’t come to terms with it, we’ll be stuck in this holding pattern for decades before we get to sleep together.”
He side-eyes me for a moment. “What about me?”
“What about you?”
“Well… you never asked me if I wanted to share you with McKay and Adam.”
Hmm. Donovan and I aren’t having sex, but we’re definitely skirting the rules on the nights we spend together. His hands will wander. Or my hands will wander. And then… can we help it if we get off on that?
“So you’re not gonna do it?”
Donovan grins at me. “Never said that either.”
“Gah,” I say. “Can you just talk to him? I feel like we’re wasting time. Like we’re stuck. I don’t like it.”
He reaches for me. His hands find their way to my body easily and they settle on my hips as he pulls me close. Then he kisses me. It’s a nice kiss too. I’ve kissed Donovan a lot over the years. He and I had a thing going after Maggie was born. McKay caught us once, watched us, but didn’t join in. That’s how I know we’re gonna have to initiate this, otherwise McKay’s inability to commit to what he already knows to be true will keep us apart forever. And I’m getting restless.
I pull back from the kiss. “Talk to him, Donovan.”
“Fine,” he says. “I’ll do it tomorrow.”
“No. Not tomorrow. Now.”
“He and Adam are watching TV in the pavilion. What am I supposed to do? Go down there and interrupt them?”
“I’ll tell him you want to talk to him and he should meet you in the kitchen. Then I’ll keep Adam occupied. I have questions for him anyway.”
Donovan sighs and looks over his shoulder at the stairs. “Fine. But if this goes sideways, it’s gonna be your fault.”
“Kiss him, Donovan.”
“What?” Donovan laughs, then pulls me into his room and closes the door so Maggie can’t hear us if she’s spying. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“Kiss McKay. It’ll help him feel better. I’m sure he feels the same way about Adam as Adam feels for him. And I’m sure he’s spent the past twenty-five years trying to picture himself kissing the guy. If he just gets it over with, then he can stop thinking so hard about that.”
“First of all”—Donovan holds up a finger—“he will punch me in the face.”
“He will not. McKay is not reactionary like that.”
“Are we talking about the same man? Tall guy? Eyes filled with mystery and pent-up hate? Hobbies include training little girls to kill people?”
“You’re being stupid. Why are all of you so stupid? And he has no pent-up hate. That’s utter bullshit.”
“Second”—he holds up a second finger—“I’m one hundred percent certain that Core McKay has spent no time—not a single fucking moment of time—wondering how his first kiss with any man, let alone Adam, would go down.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Oh, I do know that. Third”—he adds to his finger count—“you really don’t see the pent-up hate inside McKay? Or was that just a flippant remark?”
“McKay is not hateful.”
“I never said he was hateful. I implied he’s got… issues. Long-time lingering issues, Indie. And all of them have to do with Adam and how he came to live with the Boucher family.”
I huff, then sigh. “He loves Adam.”
“I know he does. But love is complicated, Indie Anna. McKay isn’t thinking about kissing Adam.”
“Well, he should be. Because those two were meant to be together.”
Donovan smiles now. “That I can agree with.”
“Then why are you so resistant to my plan?”
“Because it’s not a romantic kind of love, Indie. It’s something else. They’re meant to be together because they don’t actually know how to live apart.” He stops. Makes a face. “Well. I’m not even sure about that any more. Adam seems to have gotten along just fine without McKay. And while McKay didn’t light the fucking world on fire while Adam was missing, he did move on. He’s got his workshop now. And his little online store shit.”
“Hmm,” I hum. “That’s not good. They are meant to be together. We’re all meant to be together. So what’s wrong with giving this thing a little push? I’m telling you, McKay has no idea how to approach Adam and tell him these things. You can help him with that. Just get that first kiss over with. That way it won’t be awkward when we finally all get together. And that was the plan, right? We’re all waiting for McKay to come to some conclusion so we can have sex.”
Donovan scratches his neck and shoots me a strained look. “Was that what McKay was thinking when he put us all in timeout? Because that was not my impression, Indie. To me it felt like… he wanted you for himself. But he knows he can’t have you like that. So he needed time for you to figure out who you loved most.”
“Love most? I love you all. I’m not going to stop loving you, Donovan. Or Adam. Or McKay. This is my point. I want you all. And I don’t want to take turns. That’s not good enough. It’s all of us, or none of us.”
He just stares at me for a moment.
“I have earned this, Donovan.” My voice is soft now. “I have done everything you guys asked me to do and now it’s my turn for you all to do something I’m asking for. I deserve this. I deserve this family we’ve built. I deserve to be surrounded by love. I deserve happiness, Donovan. All I’m asking is that you help me make it happen. Please. We’re so close.”
“We’re not close. Carter is—”
“Forget him. He’s got nothing to do with our happiness. This is about us. That’s it. All I’m asking you to do is kiss him one time. Make him talk about it. Think about it. I swear to God, Core McKay is thinking about Adam. All the time. He’s looking for a way in, Donovan. Not a way out.”
Donovan sighs. “Fine. Whatever. But I don’t think it’s gonna work, Indie. He really might hit me. And he hits hard. He barely likes me. We both know I’m only here because of you. Neither of them would even look at me twice if it wasn’t for you.”
I scoff. Loudly. Then look him up and down with eyes that say he’s crazy. Donovan is a lot of things. He’s too smart, too sneaky, and too aloof. He was too skinny as a teenager and a little bit awkward. But he is not invisible. In fact, he is an unmissable-looking man. His dangerous good looks are dark and broody. And every time I look into his eyes, I see lust in there. I don’t know what he’s been up to all these years in his private life, but I’m absolutely certain that it involved a lot of dirty sex with people of both genders.