The giggling and small talk just stopped, my parents looked at each other, and I had this piece of broccoli that I wanted to eat on my fork, but it just stayed there. I think all this happened for as long as a sigh, but it seemed like hours. Finally, the silence was interrupted by my mom who decided to give us an answer with a very shaking voice.
“Yes, of course! It was wonderful. Mats, honey, pass me the salad, please,” she said with sort of a smile, but her mouth was trembling.
“Lena, could you make your famous punch for the birthday party?” Auntie Eva changed the subject as fast as Koda would gulp a meatball stolen from the table.
It worked. Everybody got back to their food but me.
Dinner was accomplished with success. Mrs. Lena and her family had gone back home, Auntie Eva too, in her blue Beetle. My father took Rodrigo, who had been sleeping on his lap, upstairs to his room. It was only me and my mom cleaning the table from dinner. While I washed the dishes, she was picking up the mess around the kitchen. Quiet, it looked like only her body was there, her mind must have been far away. Her silence was heavy like a bag full of books on my back. It could be nothing, she must only be worried about her job. Or maybe it could be something a lot worse?
Leaning against the sink, while I waited for her to bring the last dishes, I just threw on my mom what had been stuck in my throat since dinner.
“Mom, I saw how weird you got when Mrs. Lena asked about my birth. Why?”
She was coming in my direction with a few cups balancing on a plate, she stopped in her tracks so hard that one cup fell to the floor, like a ghost had just walked by her. She looked white, very, very pale.
After that scene, it was me who made that face.
“Silence, people! Stop all this noise, Rodrigo just fell asleep!” whispered my father from upstairs.
“Mom!” I whispered with a tremble tone.
“You stop that, you scared me!” she answered, putting herself together.
“I scared you with a question? Really! What was it?”
She didn’t answer, but I noticed, while she was picking up the cup smithereens from the floor, that her heart was coming out of her mouth and her hands were shaking. I thought, just like a betrayed husband, “Something is wrong with this.”
But what could it be? My mom was hiding something from me, to the point that she got really upset with a question? Insisting, I tried again.
“Mom, tell me. What is wrong?”
At this point, she was shaking more than a tightrope. I felt the adrenaline in my stomach, my sight went blind, it was something about me, I knew it. I couldn’t even imagine what she was going to say, ‘Look, you were born with a disease’ or ‘I stole you from the maternity ward.’ I didn’t know, anything could have come up at this time. I couldn’t imagine what had got to her like this, like she was shot by a gun. She smiled, nervously.
“It’s nothing Lola, how insistent! It’s nothing to deal with the dinner conversation. I’m just tired, don’t worry about that.”
Even though she was a teacher, she was never good with psychology, because if she was, she would never tell me not to worry. The word “don’t” was completely ignored by my brain, but the rest I got right. WORRY.
I went to my room without saying a word, and before I closed the door, I could hear them both whispering something in their room. It was right next to mine, and seconds after that their door was locked.
Why didn’t she get awkward with me or accuse me of something, as always? Why did she just get scared? She was always a cold mom, but never seemed threatened that way. What had happened? It seemed such a foolish topic, insignificant even. Why would this make her so uncomfortable? It had just arisen like a new freckle on my face.
I was awake for a good time thinking that scene over, and everyone’s reactions. I tried to remember if I’d seen in the past a weird scene like that. Maybe I had noticed something different before, a clue of what was unsettling my mother, but nothing came to mind. I was almost drifting off to sleep when I heard Koda’s nonstop barking from far away. He had run away again. My mom opened the room door and said, irritated.
“Go downstairs and bring that dog back before he disturbs all the neighbors and wakes up your brother! Now!”
I threw my robe on and went out into that cold night trying to catch Koda, his barking was getting louder and louder. I walked until the middle of the block and saw him barking at a little kitty under a car. I tied him to a pole close by and went to try to help the kitty and put it in a safe place.
Getting really close I notice that the kitty was a bit different - half beige with a purple eye and other half black with an orange eye. When I tried to catch him, he got scared and ran to the middle of the street. At that minute, that exact second, a drunk driver passed by. He was startled by the kitty, lost control of the car, and came towards my direction, pressing me against a car parked behind me. I don’t remember anything after that.
I woke up still a little bit dizzy in a hospital bed. I don’t know how long I was there, but I could feel my hair on my eyebrows (I needed to get that fixed urgently). Everyone was around me. My aunt was crying, and my father was trying to hide his face when they all saw me awake. My mom smiled and hugged me strongly (I guess it was a close one). I remember feeling a lot of pain in my legs, especially the right one. I felt weak, not even able to move away from my sheets, I was sure my leg was bruised. A nurse came in and put some medicine into my IV drip, and I went back to sleep. When I woke up, I was feeling better.
They took me home that same day, they fed me in bed and gave me lots of attention, even during the sleep hours. A whole day being pampered made me feel good. I was told that I could develop thrombosis because of the hit, and for that, I had to take my medicine every day for a while. Even feeling a lot of pain, I did get a good night’s sleep.
I opened my eyes, feeling a crack of light shining on my face. I woke up in my bed still a bit sore, feeling like a bear walked over me, but a little better than the day before. It wasn’t an excuse to skip school again, I had to go either way.
I tried to look decent with my uniform on and picked up my books. All this mess almost made me forget my mom’s reaction at dinner, almost. I still needed to find out what tormented her. Because of the accident, we didn’t talk about that anymore, but I was resolved to get it out of her.
I didn’t know what her reaction would be, or what she would tell me. Each step closer to the kitchen made me lose my appetite and made my hands start to sweat. The smell of coffee met me halfway.
When I got to the kitchen, I saw everybody there at the table - mom, dad, and Rodrigo waiting for me. I think the color of my face vanished. I thought, ‘now they will tell me what is happening.’
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” They spoke at the same time, like a chorus.
“It’s a double celebration today! Your birthday and your recovery from the accident,” my father cheered, giving me a tight hug.
I was impressed, it was still October 21st. My birthday. Through all this mess I hadn’t even remembered the date. I thought both were too excited about today, it was actually the first time I didn’t have to remind them. Very different from Rodrigo’s birthday. Besides the party, they would decorate the whole house with balloons just to see him have fun. ‘You are already an adult.’ It was the perfect excuse for my mom’s indifference. My father would notice the sharp difference between the treatment she gave me and the one she gave Rodrigo, they always ended up discussing. But sometimes even he forgot me… My house was very confusing.