I loved my parents, and I knew they loved me, but their money came in at a very close second to their daughter. Or maybe it was the other way around. I hadn’t figured out where I stood in the ranking.
“So, you asked me about myself. Is it my turn now?” I asked, taking a sip of my beer and loving the way the music pulsed through my body.
“Have at it, Kaylee. I’m an open book.”
I sat up a bit straighter and tilted my head some as I regarded him for a moment or two. “Okay, the most common one—why are you single? You’re handsome enough, nice body, hot job, pun intended.”
He laughed. “Well, I dated my high school sweetheart up until a year ago.”
My brows rose. “Wow. What happened?”
Channing shrugged. “She wanted a different life that didn’t include living in Hamilton. I wanted to be in Hamilton.”
“Was there no compromise?”
His eyes looked sad for a moment. “There was. I tried for a little while. Told her I would move to Billings. She had gotten a nursing job there. I lived there for about a year and hated it. She knew I wasn’t happy. So then I tried to commute. I work a split shift, so on my days off, I’d drive and stay with her in Billings.”
“That’s not too bad . . . it’s what, five hours or so?”
“About that, closer to six, but take into consideration our winters, and there were more times I was stuck here in Hamilton. So I looked into taking a position with the Billings Fire Department because, honestly, being with her was what I wanted. I got offered a job and asked Lauren to marry me. She was surprised and didn’t answer right away. That should have been my first warning sign. Then she said the words no man wants to hear after he’s just gotten down on one knee and asked a girl to marry him.”
“We need to talk?”
This time, Channing laughed. “Yep. Those words. She had met some doctor and didn’t mean for things to happen, but she was attracted to him and was wanting to see where it would take her. So, instead of getting married, we broke up.”
“I’m so sorry,” I said, taking his hand in mine. “That must have been hard.”
He shrugged and reached for his beer with his free hand and took a drink. “It was, at first, but I got over it.”
“Do y’all still talk?”
“Nah, not really. I haven’t heard from her in about five or six months. It’s better that way. She got on with her life, and I’m doing the same.”
I nodded and took another drink. “How many women have you dated since?”
Channing looked directly at me and gave me a panty-melting smile. Lord, this guy knew how to make a woman’s body heat up. “Not many, maybe about four women. One was sort of long term, if you count five months as long term.”
Laughing, I shook my head. “Not when your last relationship lasted years!”
“That’s true.”
“Someone local?” I asked.
“Yeah, Nellie Kesler.”
My mouth fell open. “Nathan’s sister? Like, Nathan as in the city manager?”
“Do you know him?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes, he attempted to date Lincoln, and he is a grade-A jerk. No, the better word to describe him is a manwhore.”
Channing tossed his head back and laughed. “That he is.” His eyes drifted past me. “Like the Shaw brothers.”
I tried not to let that statement get to me, but I couldn’t help but wonder why he would say something so inappropriate. Unless it was his not-so-subtle way of trying to warn me off of Ty.
“How about we take a spin on the dance floor?” I asked, needing to change the very touchy subject.
He stood and reached for my hand. “Let’s dance, cowgirl.”
And boy howdy, did we dance. Channing wrapped me up in his arms, and we took off two-stepping. The guy was good, and I found myself comparing him to Ty. Of course, Ty had a bum leg, but he was still an amazing dancer.
Ugh. Stop this now, Kaylee. Ty is no longer in the picture. He was never in the picture. He made it crystal freaking clear that we have no picture together.
“Penny for your thoughts,” Channing said, giving me a kiss near the side of my mouth.
I wanted my body to want more, but the slight nervous feeling in my stomach was all I got. Was it anticipation? I hoped it was. I needed to move on, and I needed to start to feel again. I swallowed hard and looked up at Channing. “I was thinking I’m sort of over this bar.”
A wide grin erupted over Channing’s handsome face. “My place or yours?” he asked.
“Mine, and this isn’t an invitation into my bed, Channing. I want to make that clear.”
“Okay, I wasn’t assuming it was.”
I raised a brow in disbelief.
He laughed and took a step back, holding his hands up in defense. “All right, okay, I won’t lie and say it wasn’t exactly on my mind. I’m a guy, after all. But I’m not going to pressure you in any way, Kaylee.”
I gave him a soft smile. “That’s not to say I only have talking in mind, Channing.”
When he didn’t say anything but just stood there, I continued. “Shall we leave?”
“Yes, I think that’s an amazing idea . . . it’s either that, or I may end up kissing you right here in the middle of the dance floor.”
I chuckled as Channing wrapped his arm around my waist and guided us through the crowd. I may not have been having sex tonight, but there were plenty of other things we could do to take some of this sexual frustration away. Lots of other things to do, actually, and here I had at my disposal one handsome firefighter to help put out some small flames—or cause some others to spark to life.
As we headed out the door, I tried to push away the sudden feeling of panic that was churning my stomach. I drew in a few deep breaths as we walked to Channing’s car.
Once we fell back into an easy conversation, I relaxed again. Channing had taken my hand in his and was rubbing his thumb over my skin as he drove. I hated that I felt nothing from that action. Not. A. Damn. Thing. And when we pulled up to my house, I let out a long exhale as I waited for him to walk around and open my door. He reached his hand in and helped me out.
“It’s freezing!” I said as we quickly made our way up the steps.
After I unlocked the door, Channing decided to do something to warm me up. He kissed me. I turned to face him, and he cupped my face in his hands and pressed his mouth to mine.
At first I was stunned, not sure what to do. He pressed my body against the door and deepened the kiss. I opened to him and soon found my tongue moving with his.
I didn’t feel a thing. Not one damn flutter in my chest or dip in my stomach. Nothing.
When he moaned, a flashback of Ty kissing me caused me to pull my mouth from his and shake my head. An emotion now took hold of my chest and squeezed like a damn vise. I wasn’t sure what to make of this one.
Confusion? Guilt? Doubt?
Shit. Shit. Shit. I’m broken. That’s it. I am a broken woman who will never, ever have sex again.
Channing looked at me with a befuddled expression.
“Are you okay?” he asked, taking a step closer and placing his hand on the side of my cheek. “I swear, Kaylee, I’m not pressuring you, it’s just . . . I’ve been wanting to kiss you since I first laid eyes on you.”