“Hey there, cowboy, drinking alone, huh?” Kaylee said, sliding up onto the barstool next to mine. The way my body instantly came alive when she was near agitated me. It also fucking thrilled me.
God, I’m fucked up.
“Not for long.”
She smiled, and it made my throat grow thick. She had no damn clue the effect she had on me. Abso-fucking-lutely clueless.
“Are you waiting for someone?” she asked, nodding to Betty Jane holding up my bottle of beer.
“Yes.”
“Date?”
“Are you working for the local paper now? What’s with all the questions, Kaylee?”
Her smile faded some, and I instantly felt like an asshole because I was the reason the light had dimmed in her eyes.
With a half shrug, she answered me. “I was just curious is all.”
“No, I’m not waiting for a date.”
Betty Jane came back with Kaylee’s beer and one for me, along with the shot I’d requested. I downed the shot first.
“Something wrong?”
I turned to Kaylee and stared at her. I tried not to let my gaze move to her soft pink lips, but I lost the battle before it even began. My eyes jerked back up to hers. “Nothing is wrong.”
She took a drink of her beer. “Listen, I was sort of hoping we might be able to talk.”
I looked out over the dance floor and caught the eye of the brunette. She was still eye fucking the hell out of me, not giving one single fuck that Kaylee was sitting next to me. I smiled, then looked back at the empty shot glass and pushed it away.
“Betty Jane, can I get another one, please.”
Kaylee looked at the shot glass and then back to me. I’d yet to acknowledge her comment about wanting to talk. Another asshole move on my part. Her eyes filled with a look like she was unsure about something, and I sighed. “What do you want to talk about, Kaylee?”
She swallowed hard—and again, I could see it in her eyes. She was definitely unsure about something. Hell, she even seemed a little nervous.
“Well, I was . . . I mean . . . I wanted to ask you why you don’t like me. Because I sort of feel like you don’t, and I don’t know what I did to you to make you feel that way.”
That caught my attention, causing me to turn my entire body and face her. “Don’t like you?”
“Yeah. I mean, it’s pretty obvious I get under your skin, Ty. I don’t know why, though, because when I first came to town, I thought maybe there was . . . um . . . there might have been something there.”
“Something there?” I asked, knowing damn well what she meant and refusing to validate what she was saying.
Hell yes, there was something explosive between us, and my heart and my body were at constant war with each other over that fact.
“You know, an attraction between us. We kissed that night, and everything seemed to change immediately. Why?”
I stared at her, trying like hell to keep my breathing under control. Why was she bringing this up? This was so out of the damn blue. I had no clue what to say to her. How to explain what that kiss did to me . . .
I’d felt something I had never experienced before from just one kiss from her, and that scared me? She scared me?
Hell, she’d laugh in my face if I told her that.
Her eyes searched my face as I fought to find the words to speak. Should I tell her the truth, that she wasn’t like any other woman I’d ever known? That she was the first woman I even dared to want something more with, but I wasn’t sure I was able to give her what I knew she deserved? That I’d already failed in my professional life, that I’d failed my family the minute I’d started abusing the pain meds, and that failing in a relationship wasn’t an option for me? It was something I didn’t think I’d recover from.
Glancing back at my beer bottle, I pulled in a long, slow breath. I knew I didn’t deserve someone like Kaylee Holden. She’d already had one guy disappoint her; she didn’t need another loser. I was a player. A guy who hooked up with women for one reason only. Sex. That was all I had wanted with Kaylee, at first. It was all I had to give. Before the first kiss.
Then the second kiss . . . that one blew my fucking mind. I couldn’t think straight for days after. She haunted my dreams and my thoughts.
I looked back at her, and that’s when she smiled, as if she could read those thoughts.
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught the brunette making her way over to me. Fuck my life twice. Jesus, I couldn’t catch a break tonight, when all I wanted was a damn beer or two.
“Ty? Are you going to answer me? Why did everything change between us?”
I swallowed hard and did the only thing I knew how to do. I put distance between us with a few harsh lies. “I wanted to fuck you, Kaylee. I thought you were going to be leaving, and when I realized Brock was into Lincoln and you were most likely going to stay, I knew I couldn’t do that to Lincoln. So that’s all you were to me, a good time, and I couldn’t do that to my family.”
Her eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open slightly. The pain that sparked to life in those baby blues of hers instantly made me feel sick. I wanted to take back my words, tell her it was all a lie. That she did, in fact, drive me crazy, and that I did want to fuck her, but just not in the way she thought. I wanted more than that with her; the sex would just be a bonus with this woman who had the power to destroy me.
“You couldn’t do that to . . . Lincoln?”
I shrugged and put the last nail in my coffin by continuing to be a total asshole. “And you. I mean, I’m a dick, but I’m not that big of a dick.”
When I saw the slight tremble of her chin, I lifted my hand, then stopped myself from touching her. Kaylee sat up straighter, reached for her beer, and took a long drink. Then she nodded and faced me. “Well, okay. I guess I got the answer I came here for.” She let out a half-hearted laugh. “To think I was stupid enough to think that maybe there was something there between us. I was just being naive and foolish, but no more. You just made my decision for me, so thank you, Ty, for that clarity and frankness.”
“Your decision?” I asked, confused.
Kaylee stood and was trying to walk off when I reached for her arm, which caused her to look back at me.
“What decision?”
Lifting her chin, Kaylee forced a smile. “Channing actually did ask me out, and I honestly wasn’t sure what to do. I had these feelings . . .” She let out another laugh and shook her head.
“Feelings?” I asked, wishing I could take back every second of the last five minutes.
“Yeah, for you, but I see now that I was just being fucking stupid.”
The ache in my chest burned. “Kaylee.”
She held up her hand. “It’s okay, Ty. I’m a big girl, and believe it or not, I was actually prepared for the rejection from you. I just didn’t think it would hurt as much as it did.”
I closed my eyes and cursed. “Fuck. Kaylee.”
Opening my eyes, I saw the brunette standing a few feet away. For the life of me, I couldn’t remember what in the hell her name was.
“Hey, Ty, you ready to get out of here?”
Lord, give me strength. I was seriously fucked now. This woman was clearly trying to give Kaylee the wrong impression.