Agatha looked back over her shoulder toward the house and saw several faces in the window.
“They’re looking, aren’t they?” Patsy asked, clucking her tongue. “Old busybodies.”
The sound of sirens was growing louder in the distance and Agatha breathed out a sigh of relief. She looked at Patsy, thinking they’d take a step back and let Coil take control, but clearly Patsy had other ideas. Patsy’s elbow shot out and connected with her ribs, and Agatha oofed as she sprawled backward on the ground.
“Hey!” Agatha said.
“Out of the way, skinny,” Patsy said. “I’ve got a crime to solve.”
“You’ve got some reality to check,” Agatha said, her brows raised. She slowly got to her feet and tried to take a calming breath.
Patsy blew a raspberry and peeked under the sheet. “I’m an old lady. Whatcha going to do? Fight me?”
“No,” Agatha said. “But if you touch that body, you’re going to find yourself with a mouth full of dirt and your hands behind your back.”
“Been there, done that, sugar. You should’ve met my husband. He was a real pistol.”
Coil chose that opportune moment to pull in front of the house in his truck, and another cruiser and an ambulance were right behind him.
Agatha blew out a breath of relief and grabbed Patsy by the arm, pulling her to her feet unceremoniously.
Coil looked at her like she was half crazy, but she didn’t care. “Good to see you,” she called out. She and Coil hadn’t always seen eye to eye, but they were friends, and right now, he was the only ally she had. “Patsy here is an amateur detective.”
“Ahh,” Coil said, nodding his head. “I don’t think we’ve had the pleasure of meeting.”
“Patsy Davidson,” she said, holding out a hand. “I’m Hank’s sister. You single?”
Coil grinned, and Agatha shook his head. Coil was well aware of his looks and knew how to use them to his advantage. “No, ma’am. Happily married for going on eighteen years now.”
“Your wife, is she healthy? No sickness? Bad hips or knees?”
“She’s perfect,” Coil said, but he was clearly taken aback.
“Huh,” Patsy said. “I got two new hips last year. Titanium. I can practically swivel a hundred and eighty degrees.”
“I’m sure that’s very helpful,” he said. “Why don’t we take a look at this fella in the yard and see what’s what?”
Agatha explained how the dead man had come to be in their front yard, and to Coil’s credit, he didn’t even flinch.
She could practically feel Hank’s judgment coming at her in waves from the house. He hadn’t wanted to invite his sisters, and she hadn’t realized how deep their family feud went. If Hank had only told her what had happened, she wouldn’t have insisted on inviting them.
She’d grown up as an only child. Agatha had no family to call her own, and the thought of Hank having five sisters seemed like a good way for her to have an immediate family. But the thought of family had been something that had consumed her whole life. It had only been her and her parents growing up. No big extended family or reunions to look forward to.
And then there was the daughter she’d given up for adoption at birth. It had been a painful time, and it was still a painful memory, and now that her daughter was of adult age, she could request they meet. But she hadn’t followed through with the state’s office of child welfare about making contact. Sometimes the past was best left in the past. Her daughter had two parents who loved her and raised her. And Agatha was about to start a new life with Hank.
If they managed to make it through the next two weeks. She felt a hand on her shoulder and leaned back into Hank with a sigh. She guessed he hadn’t been able to contain his sisters any longer.
“What we need to be talkin’ about,” Gayle said as she joined the crowd on the lawn, “is a bachelorette party. You don’t really get to know someone until you see them at a bachelorette party. Look at that tattoo. That’s good artistry right there.”
“I was admiring it when we hauled him off the ground and into the van,” Betty agreed. “I’ve been thinking of getting one myself.”
“What you want is a tramp stamp,” Brenda said. “You don’t get too wrinkled back there, so you keep the integrity of the design.”
“That’s good thinking,” Betty said. “We should all get matching tattoos for Agatha’s bachelorette party.”
“I’m not much on parties,” Agatha said, but she didn’t think anyone was listening. “And I’ve already got a tattoo.”
“What?” Hank asked, turning her to face him.
“I’ve already got a tattoo,” Agatha said.
“Where? Of what?”
Agatha winked and said, “We’ve got to save something for our wedding night.”
She could tell she’d rendered Hank speechless, and she almost laughed out loud. This whole situation was a comedy of errors.
“We can go without her,” Brenda said. “Marriages have a tendency to be less permanent than tattoos.”
Hank’s sisters cackled with laughter, and Agatha felt her temper go from simmer to full steam.
“It’s not worth it,” Hank said, putting his hands back on her shoulders to hold her back. Deputies James and Springer had finished up with the body and were helping get him loaded for transport.
“If I could take a moment of your time,” Coil said, looking around the circle of women and then to Hank and Agatha. He gave them all a winning smile.
“This is exactly why he’s the politician and I’m not,” Hank whispered, making her grin.
“Hello ladies,” Coil said. “How’s it going?”
“Much better now, honey,” Gayle said. “You look like the kind of man who could appreciate a little ink. I bet you’ve got a few.”
“Not a one,” Coil said.
“Y’all hush up,” Patsy said. “The sheriff is trying to get to the bottom of this crime. He’s got a job to do, and it’s my duty as a citizen to assist in any way. I’d appreciate it if you’d go ahead and deputize me. I already got my gun. Just need a badge.”
“I’d be careful of taking a gun over state lines,” Coil said, trying to maintain the smile.
“It’s all right,” she said. “I’ve got one of those universal passes. I take it everywhere. Don’t worry about the badge. The government red tape isn’t worth it. I’ll just work in an unofficial capacity.”
“I need to start taking statements about what happened, and I need one from each of you individually. My deputies are going to help me with that.”
“I’m the oldest and I shot that man,” Hazel said, “so I think it’s only fitting that the sheriff interview me directly instead of pawning me off. You girls can have those other two.”
Hank’s sisters looked collectively toward Deputies James and Springer, and no one seemed too impressed to have their statements taken by them.
“Let’s just get this over with,” Brenda said. “I never got my drink, and I’m in desperate need of one.” She and Betty went over to the two deputies and started talking, and Springer and James looked like deer caught in the headlights.