“Are you telling me this man fell out of a hearse, and instead of stopping and calling the police, you picked him up and put him in your van?”
“We had to,” Betty said defensively. “Those men were shooting at us. If Hazel hadn’t shot back we’d probably all be dead.”
The others were nodding in agreement.
“It all happened very fast,” Brenda said.
“Wow,” Heather said. “Some family, Hank.”
“Heather,” Agatha said. “Not now.”
“Heather,” Hank said. “You leave now unless you want to become part of another murder investigation. Agatha, call 911 and get Coil here ASAP. And you five start talking, and you’d better be telling the truth or I’m going to arrest you all.”
“We did not raise you to behave this way, Hank Davidson,” Gayle said. “It is clear to me this woman has been a bad influence on you.”
“That’s my cue to go,” Heather said, and trotted back to her car as fast as her spiked heels would carry her.
Hank was glad Agatha had moved away from the group so she could make phone calls. His head pounded, from the heat and the chaos, and he walked away from the circle of women and went to stand over the body. He could deal with the dead. It was the living who were the problem.
“Umm…Hank,” his neighbor from across the street said. “Maybe you could drape this over the…umm…you know.” She swallowed and tried not to look at the corpse in his yard. “There’s kids on this street.”
“I’m sorry about this,” he said, taking the sheet from her.
“You definitely made the neighborhood more interesting since you moved here,” she said. Hank didn’t even know what her name was, but clearly she knew him. “Most exciting thing that ever happened before you was forty years ago when Wally Tabor fell off his roof and broke his neck dressed like Santa. Congratulations on the wedding, by the way. We’re real excited about it.”
Hank wondered who else was coming to their wedding. Probably the whole town. “Thanks,” he said. “And thanks for the sheet. I’ll get it back to you.”
Her eyes got big and she pursed her lips. “You can keep it, honey.”
“Right,” Hank said, and went to cover the body.
Spots danced in front of his eyes and the heat from the sun was oppressive. It rose from the ground in waves and pressed from above like a laser. He’d lived in Texas two years, and he still wasn’t used to the heat. They were still having snow in Philadelphia.
“You don’t look so good,” Agatha said, coming up next to him. “Why don’t you go inside with your sisters and I’ll wait out here for Coil to arrive. He’s on the way now.”
“Thanks,” he said.
“I’m sorry I pressed about having your family here,” she said. “I never want to hurt you or put more stress on you than you already carry. I didn’t realize.”
“I should have told you why things were so bad in the first place,” he said. “You only knew what I told you. And maybe it’s not such a bad thing. One way or another, maybe I can put hard feelings aside. How they choose to behave is up to them. But I want to go into our future together with as little baggage as possible.”
She nodded and leaned up to kiss him. “Go on inside before they get too impatient. I can’t decide if they want to kidnap you or kill you.”
Hank laughed. “Probably a little of both. Let me know when Coil gets here.”
He walked back to his sisters and herded them toward the front door. “Come on,” he said. “You’ll be more comfortable in the house with the air conditioner while we wait for Coil to get here. Anyone want a drink?”
“I’ll take a vodka tonic,” Gayle said, taking a seat on the couch. “I need to cool down.”
“Oh, that sounds good. Be a dear and get me one too,” Patsy said.
“I’ve got water and iced tea,” he said patiently. “No vodka.”
“You always were a strange one,” Betty said, clucking her tongue.
“You want me to hang outside with skinny?” Patsy asked. “I’ve already got lots of theories, and I’d like to see this investigation through.” She was a true-crime fanatic, and Hank only hoped she didn’t disturb any evidence.
“Agatha can handle it until Coil gets here,” he said.
“You keep talking about Coil,” Brenda said. “Who’s Coil?”
“Reggie Coil,” Hank said. “He’s the sheriff in Bell County.”
Gayle gasped and put her hand on her chest. “I saw his picture in the paper a couple of months ago. He looks just like Brad Pitt. Oh, I can’t wait to meet him. He’s a hottie.”
“Is he married?” Brenda asked.
“Yes,” Hank said. “He’s very married.”
“That never mattered much to you before,” Hazel said, elbowing her sister.
“Hush, Hazel,” Brenda said. “That was a low time for me. It was right after Arthur died, and a woman has needs.”
“Oh, for the love of…” Hank said, but his sisters started talking all at once again. He let out a loud whistle and everyone went silent.
“Everyone sit down and be quiet,” he said. “No one is leaving this room until I find out exactly what happened, who the dead guy is, and who was shooting what. Where’s Patsy?”
“She slipped out the back while you were distracted,” Betty said. “She’s in the front yard with that woman you’re marrying. You know she’s not going to miss a chance to work this case from start to finish. You really should have more pride in your appearance, Hank. No one wears Hawaiian shirts. It’s not the eighties.”
“I do,” he said. “And I’m retired. Kind of. So I can wear what I want. We’ve got more important things to worry about than what I’m wearing.”
“Good point,” Hazel said, looking out the window at Patsy and Agatha. “You think Agatha is going to punch her?”
“I’ve got ten dollars on Patsy,” Brenda said. “She’s scrappy.”
“Deal,” Hazel said.
Chapter Two
Patience wasn’t Agatha’s strong suit, and the temptation to lift the sheet and get a good look at the body was getting stronger the longer she waited for Coil to arrive.
She’d waved the neighbors all back inside, but she could feel their eyes on her as she shuffled closer to the bed-sheeted corpse. She checked her watch again and blew out a breath. The scene was already ruined to heck and back, so it’s not like she could do much more damage. Especially if she was only looking.
Agatha crept up to the body, looked both ways down the street, and then squatted down next to the body and started to lift the sheet.
“Are you allowed to do that?” a voice said behind her.
Agatha dropped the sheet and looked over her shoulder guiltily.
“I’m Patsy,” the woman said. “Hank’s sister.”
“Yes, I remember,” Agatha said.
“Did you secure the scene?” Patsy looked up and down the street like Agatha had and then squatted down next to her. “Go on then, let’s take a look. I’ve been dying to check him out ever since we got him loaded in the van. But they didn’t let me sit next to him. Hurry, girl. They’ll be out here any minute. Hank can only keep them preoccupied for so long.”