His eyes ran over my face, lingering briefly on my lips, almost as if he missed me or wanted to kiss me or something. Right before they deadened again.
I wasn’t sure what his game was. Maybe he thought if he flashed a few fake emotions my way, I’d crumple. Not this time.
“I guess anywhere but Xest is where you think I should be?” I asked. He was smart enough to not answer, because I was done with his input. “You told me once I could be more. Remember that? But more somewhere else is what you meant. Well, here I am, and I am going to be more, and I’m going to do it on my terms in Xest.”
If he wanted to puddle-jump me back to Salem, he’d have to drag me kicking and screaming.
“This isn’t the place for you.” He said it softly, as if he felt bad or something.
Another flicker of emotion, another breadcrumb to lead me away from my goal and to where he thought I should be.
I should disengage, but that was easier said than done. As much as I wanted to be unmoved in any way by Hawk, something in me always burned brighter and hotter when he was near, and it was a fire that was hard to completely snuff out.
“Give me one reason it isn’t.”
“I’ll give you multiple. The thing in the Unsettled Lands, for one; the long list of enemies you’ve accumulated here. I could go on all night.”
“How is that any different from your situation? We were working toward the same ends. My enemies are yours as well.” It was all bull. If I had enemies, I made them by being aligned with him. Now that he was out of the equation, who knew what might happen? I might be fine with everyone.
“It just is.”
That was it? It just is? That thing in the Unsettled Lands? I’d actually gone head to head with it and survived. But I was the one who didn’t belong here because it just is?
Why had I ever believed anything he’d said? He wasn’t worried about what was right. He only cared about what was right for him, and for whatever reason, he wanted me gone. The realization cut me like a thousand razors. I’d thought I’d hardened myself to him since I’d been gone. I had…mostly. But not quite enough. I’d get there, though. He didn’t deserve my softness.
“I belong here every bit as much as you do.”
I gave him my back, daring him to try to force me into that puddle as I took a good look around, trying to get my bearings. Was that the old mailbox in the distance? The one I’d used to mail my letter to Lorinda? Yes. It was. Okay, town wasn’t too far from here. I could be at Zab’s in under an hour. He’d help me get my money transferred back to coin and I’d go from there. I’d find a hotel next, and then a job soon after. I started walking, not looking back even as I could feel Hawk’s eyes burning into me.
“Tippi, where are you going?”
“Not your problem,” I said, refusing to look at him. I’d never take another order from him again.
The fifth wind blew my hair back, and I breathed in the chill like it was the first time I’d taken a real breath in months. I was finally alive again.
2
The feeling of the fifth wind had lost some of its glory by the time I reached Zab’s, knocking harder than I’d meant to due to lack of feeling in my knuckles.
Zab’s voice rang out from the other side. “I’m coming!”
Yeah, definitely a little too aggressive on the knock.
It swung open a couple of seconds later, and there was my dear friend standing on the threshold, spiky blue hair going in every direction as his eyes glued to mine.
He squinted for a second, as if he couldn’t quite believe I was standing there. His jaw dropped but quickly morphed into a huge smile. “Tippi! Get in here!” he said, waving me into his place.
I almost hugged him but stopped short, reminding myself that people here didn’t touch. I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around him, but that wasn’t what Xesters did, and I was a Xester now. Instead I matched his smile, megawatt for megawatt.
“You look half frozen! Let me make you a tea while you tell me how you ended up back here,” he said, waving me toward the couch against the wall. “I can’t believe Hawk didn’t tell me you were coming. Go, sit! Get comfortable.”
I didn’t answer right away, stalling for time as he busied himself with tea.
His place was cute, a large studio that was slightly messy, but no worse than my own usually was. There were pictures of Xest landscapes on the walls, and it had little odd knickknacks scattered about on shelves, which made me wonder if he’d been behind at least some of the collection at the broker’s office. The best thing about the place was that it was as warm and inviting as he was. It was the kind of space that made you want to curl up in the corner of his yellow couch and read a book.
He brought me the tea and settled on the opposite side of the couch.
“So what happened? Did Hawk go and get you? I knew he’d bring you back. He’s been off ever since you left.” Zab wasn’t even sipping his tea as he waited hungrily for details.
Zab was my friend. That was a given. But he was Hawk’s guy too. That was also a given. This did have the potential to get awkward, and I didn’t know where Musso lived.
“Hawk didn’t bring me back. Those two bumbling idiots that kidnapped me the first time grabbed me again.” I sipped my tea as that little tidbit was absorbed.
“For who?” Zab asked.
“Not sure. They ran as soon as Hawk showed.” Another sip, another pause as I slowly fed him the details.
“Then Hawk just showed up in the middle of the abduction?” He leaned forward. “I’m so glad you’re back. Things are already more interesting.”
“I’m glad I could entertain,” I said, laughing. I wasn’t sure if it was actually funny or if I was exploding with nerves over whether I’d be tossed out on my ass when he found out that me and his boss weren’t seeing eye to eye. A lot hinged on Zab’s help. If he wasn’t the man I thought he was, being back in Xest was going to be a lot tougher. Not that I’d give up.
“Are you coming back to work at the office?” Zab asked.
I wrapped my hands around the warmth of the cup, trying to thaw out while planning my next words. “No, that’s unlikely.”
“Why not? I thought you liked it? We always had such a good time.” He leaned back a couple of inches, his chin dropping as he said, “I mean, I thought we did…”
I shook my head quickly. “We definitely did. We had a great time. I’ve missed you and Musso more than I thought possible. I even missed Helen. It’s not that at all. Hawk made it clear he wanted me to leave. He’s not looking to give me a job.”
Little wrinkles appeared around his eyes as he leaned forward again, the thoughts all jumbled up and spelled out on his expression.
He shook his head for a few seconds before the words came. “Hawk might say that he doesn’t want you here, but I don’t think it’s true. He hasn’t been the same man since you left. I’ll talk to him. He might be saying that, but I know him well enough to know it’s not what—”
“No, Zab. You’re not getting it. He was ready to drag me into a puddle to get me back to Salem tonight. When I left a couple months ago, he rushed me out the door, didn’t even give me a chance to say goodbye to you in person.”