There had been a clear divide over the thing out there, and now I seemed to be an extension of that. If they got the warm fuzzies from the lurking entity in the forest, they hated me. If they felt the way I did, like it was the guard dog to hell, where you would rot in despair for the rest of your years, they had a newfound respect for me. Or maybe just a touch of civility, but I’d take it over the sneers.
I pushed all the nods and sneers out of my head as I neared my first stop, the Sweet Shop, and not for a cocoa. I’d have to watch every coin until I landed myself a job. I’d had a decent relationship with the owner, Gilli, and working in a candy shop? There were worse things.
I walked past the broker building, trying to not look but not obviously looking away either. It was a tough balance to achieve. Musso was probably inside, and probably knew from Zab that I was back. How did I walk past and not say hello?
Dammit. I crossed the street and saw his scruffy, bent head. I knocked on the glass to catch his attention and gave him a wave and a smile when he looked up. He held up a finger, telling me to wait, but not waving me in.
Musso was a slick old guy. He’d already figured out why I wasn’t coming in.
I waited a few steps away, hoping Hawk wouldn’t happen past.
Musso strode out like a long-lost uncle, except one I couldn’t hug. I’d never been a hugger before, but now the lack of them was making me miss them sorely.
I got one of his rare smiles. “How are you, kid? Zab told me you were back.”
“I’m doing good. How about you?”
“Come on, walk with me and I’ll buy you a cocoa,” he said, heading across the street.
I fell into step beside him without the slightest hesitation, like everything was just as it had been. So easy, and yet nothing was the same.
“I know Hawk might be looking to give you a hard time, but you stand strong,” he said.
“Zab told you all of it?”
“Didn’t have to. I’ve been around a long time,” he said as he paused outside the Sweet Shop.
“Hawk could’ve done worse. I said I wasn’t going back, and he left it alone.” All in all, it hadn’t gone that bad.
Musso smiled a little and nodded. He wasn’t really agreeing or disagreeing.
“I really laid out my feelings, and maybe for once he took it to heart. I was quite firm,” I continued.
He was still giving me those ambiguous nods that made me want to look over my shoulder to see what I was missing.
“Do you think I’ve got a problem?” I asked.
“Not necessarily a problem, but I’d be ready to stand my ground. That’s all.”
Oh, I was definitely going to do that. Musso hadn’t heard what I’d said to Hawk. I wasn’t the same person who had come here the first time. I wasn’t rolling over for anyone. Even if Hawk was going to be stubborn, let him try. It wasn’t like he owned all of Xest.
We walked into the Sweet Shop, and Gilli waved to greet me over the counter. “Wait right there. I’m bringing you a cocoa myself,” she called out.
Musso nodded to the door. “I’ve got some appointments coming in, but if you need anything, you come tell me, okay? He’s been gone most mornings anyway.”
“I will.”
Musso left, and I watched as he crossed the street, heading back to the broker’s office. I would go back there, but only to visit, right after I got a job and a place to call my own. I’d march in and show Hawk I was in Xest for good and making a success of it. He wasn’t running me out of anywhere.
But first I had to get the job and a place to live.
“Heard you went back. Are you here for good?” Gilli asked as she walked toward me with the cocoa.
“I am. That’s one of the reasons I stopped by.” This place was always busy. Surely she must hire every so often.
Even as we were talking, she was fixing one of the candy displays.
“Oh? Can I help out somehow?” she asked.
One of her employees walked over, refilling the barrels along the wall beside us. Definitely really busy, and she sure looked like they could use some help.
“Actually, I was looking for a job. I just got back, and Hawk doesn’t need me over at the broker house. I was wondering if you might need any help around here?”
Gilli’s mouth was gaping open, and it was very clear what the answer would be when she did get around to speaking.
Her employee glanced over. “Oh, that’s gre—”
Gilli’s employee didn’t get a chance to finish.
“I just hired someone yesterday,” Gilli said, finding her words.
“You did?” the employee asked.
“Yes,” Gilli said, nodding. “He’s going to start next week. I would’ve swiped you up in a second if I’d known.”
The employee was staring at Gilli, and then at the ceiling, as if trying to remember something. The furrow on her forehead might as well have been shaped like a question mark before her mouth turned into an O.
“It’s fine. Not a big deal. Thanks anyway. And thanks for the cocoa. I just love this place, so I thought I’d stop here first and see.” It was all true. I did love this place, or had. Right now, I was feeling like I’d just found out the boy I was crushing on, who I’d thought was crushing on me back, thought I was frumpy and smelled.
Gilli looked to me and then her employee before looking back at me, as if at a loss for words. The situation had gone from optimistic, to awkward, to one of those dreams where you lost your pants and everyone was staring at you. Since her employee was afraid to talk, and Gilli was struggling with words as well, I was left to fill the growing stretch of silence as we stared uncomfortably at each other.
I took a step back. “But like I said, it’s not a big deal. I’ve got a long list of places I’m going to stop in.”
Something about that last bit made her look like I’d just slammed her fingers in a car door.
“Okay, so I really have to get going. Busy day ahead of me.”
Gilli forced a smile. I forced one back and then got out of there. At least I had a cocoa to soothe the hurt a bit. She hadn’t wanted me, and she clearly needed someone. Was it my reputation? The wall? The dragon incident? The grouslies? What had I done so wrong that I’d scared her off?
It didn’t matter. There were plenty of other places to work in Xest, and one of them would be looking for help—and maybe desperate enough to hire me.
The butcher shop next. I’d never met them, or had anything to do with them. Maybe they wouldn’t know who I was. Maybe they hadn’t seen whatever picture or billboard that had my face plastered on it.
Swinging the door open with confidence, I was immediately greeted with a sneer from the man behind the counter. I didn’t bother saying a word before turning around and leaving. Definitely a nonstarter.
The next stop was the Stationery and Sundries. The owner there had been a nosy sort, but his weird cat-bird had liked me. Maybe he’d be of the nodding variety? I needed some nodding shop owners right now.
I walked in, and the older man who owned the shop lifted his head, giving me a slight nod. “I heard you were back.”
No sneer. It was safe.
“Yep, it’s me. I’m back.” Bassy, his cat-bird pet, leapt onto the shelf next to my shoulder, purred loudly, and began butting his head up against me.