He leaned back in his seat with his drink, a small smile on his lips. “I have them. Don’t worry, though—no debt to be paid, at least not from you.”
5
I’d been avoiding the broker’s office, more specifically, the owner of the brokerage. Now I barged in, hoping to find Hawk here. The place was closed, but the door still opened for me, which meant he hadn’t revoked my key. How nice of him to allow me easy access here, considering he was trying to have me run out of Xest.
The main office was empty, and so was the back room. The door upstairs wouldn’t open to his place unless he wanted it that way, which he wouldn’t. I could leave him a note, but a scathing memo didn’t pack the same punch as a good old rant in person.
There was a pile of newsflash papers on Zab’s desk. That would certainly get him here, but then all of Xest would know my business—or more of it, anyway. There had been enough of it on display today.
I wandered about the room I hadn’t set foot in for months. My table was still there, baskets in place, the flower still there as well. Was Zab watering my flower, or had Hawk hired someone else to come and do the sorting and they were tending it? I ignored the urge to throw the table onto its side at the thought. He could do whatever he wanted. Hawk and this place were in my rearview.
The Helexorgomay’s gears churned, stopped, and then repeated a little faster. I glanced up at Helen, the wish machine that took up most of the upper wall. Some people found the sound of the ocean, or birds chirping in spring, soothing. Not me. This was the sound I’d missed. It reminded me of a screen door slamming in summer as you walked in your house after a long day, the sound of your family’s laughter and the familiar creak of a floorboard.
“It’s been a long while,” I said, laying a hand on the bronze machinery, feeling the hum of her immense magic as it sent a tingle through my fingers.
Helen’s gears picked up speed and then stopped. A little slip of paper flew out of the slot and landed by my feet, face-up.
I told you not to leave. You’re supposed to be here.
Did she know why I’d left? The way things had gone down? The way Hawk had rushed me out before I’d gotten a chance to even say proper goodbyes? Probably. She was the great Helexorgomay machine. The all-knowing Helen. She’d know every detail, probably down to the kiss and the angry reaction right afterward. She probably thought I should’ve been tougher. I had been most of my life, but when I came here, I’d had a blip.
When I came here, not knowing what to do, at a complete loss, I’d trusted Hawk. I’d started to rely on him. I’d let him take control of my life in a way I’d never let anyone before. And when he told me to leave, I’d done it, even if it hadn’t felt right. I’d regretted it ever since. I wouldn’t fold again, not ever.
I folded the paper and put it in my pocket, wanting a small piece of this place, of her, in case I never set foot in here again. It was a reminder that even if things got tough again, Helen thought I belonged. She was the wish machine. If someone had an opinion I should trust, it was hers.
“I know. I should’ve fought harder. I will this time, though.”
Another slip shot out.
Don’t. Fold. Again. You’re stronger than you realize.
Fold. She’d used the same word I’d thought of. Yeah, Helen knew it all.
Another slip flew to my feet.
Yes, I do.
“Now you’re just showing off,” I said, pocketing these slips as well. I might frame one and hang it once I got a place of my own. It was nice that Helen thought I was strong, especially when I was having doubts.
The door opened behind me. There was only one person that would come in here this late. The adrenaline that had been soothed by memories and Helen came roiling back to a full boil as I turned to face Hawk.
He walked into the room with that same arrogance I remembered and sat on Zab’s desk, crossing his arms while he stared at me as if he was absolved of all guilt. Or maybe he was incapable of feeling any? One of the first thoughts in my head was that damn, he looked good tonight. It showed how messed up my head was. You didn’t admire the devil’s attractive facade. It was just honey to lure you to the trap. I’d never fall for his trap again.
“Can I help you with something?”
He was utterly calm, always in control. I hated it even as I longed to emulate it.
“You told everyone not to hire me.” I didn’t scream or rage the way I’d planned. He didn’t deserve that much emotion out of me. I’d play his game, as if I were above it all, even if I felt as if I were covered in mud and muck after the day I’d had.
“I didn’t instruct anyone.”
Again with the semantics. Did everyone in this place split hairs? Could we not just sum it up nice and simple for once? “You’re denying that you were the reason I had trouble getting a job?”
“Not at all. I’m simply informing you that I didn’t have to tell them. When you didn’t come back to work here, they were wary of how welcome you were. Since I believe you shouldn’t be here, did you think I’d go out of my way to have them hire you?” He raised an eyebrow, as if to imply I couldn’t possibly be that stupid.
I’d made a huge mistake coming here. I wasn’t laying down the law. I was getting tied in knots of aggravation and fury, while he watched on. I was becoming a jumbled-up mess inside while he was a placid lake. I needed to get out of here, and now, before the tsunami inside me raged outward and it became very clear who was holding it together and who was crumbling.
“I’m aware that you think I shouldn’t be here. Luckily for me, it doesn’t matter what you think anymore, because I will be staying, and someone did give me a job. So thank you for trying to screw me, and I’ll be on my way.”
Some papers behind me fluttered to the floor, and the flower pot was rattling on the desk. That was definitely my signal to exit.
I headed for the door, but he blocked my way. He was a foot in front of me, scanning me the length of me, and not in a sexual way.
“There’s something different. I thought I noticed it the other night as well.” His eyes rose to mine. “What have you done?”
My hand moved to my neck before I caught myself and held it in front of me. His glance down made it clear he hadn’t missed the slip.
Out of everyone, he would be the one to notice. I wasn’t even sure if it had done something, but it must’ve the way he was acting.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Now step out of my way.”
“There’s something different,” he said, still blocking my path as if I hadn’t spoken.
“Yes. Me. Now move.” Shoving him out of the way was not an option, but only because he was stronger. Otherwise, his ass would’ve been on the ground.
He didn’t budge. I tried to step around him, and he shifted with me, grabbing my wrist and pushing my jacket up so he could feel my flesh, or more specifically, my magic. I was getting a little tired of being handled tonight, although when Oscar had done it, it wasn’t quite so unnerving.
Trying to shrug him off did nothing.