“I’m just Amiah.”
The silence dragged on between us with our gazes locked, his life force thrumming against my senses and our bond throbbing inside me.
“And even if Sebastian and I were married—” Which would never happen. “—I’d still just be Amiah.”
A spark popped from his eye and the pain imprinted in his cells from his centuries of suffering at Deaglan’s hands whispered through me.
That pain had been excruciating when Rin had questioned Deaglan’s command to bite me, and it made me furious every time I thought about it. Deaglan had hurt Rin again and again on a level I wasn’t sure I’d ever fully understand. And while I knew the terror of being held captive and of doing whatever it took to please my captor to avoid punishment, I’d barely suffered compared to Rin’s five hundred years. What had he done to survive? What was he willing to do?
My heart broke for him.
God, just like with Cassius and Titus and all of my guys, I yearned to heal Rin. But his emotional and psychological injuries weren’t something I could heal.
Essie, with her archangel empathic healing magic might be powerful enough to heal his soul. She connected with peoples’ emotions and healed psychological wounds, but I wasn’t sure if she could truly mend a broken soul. I hadn’t heard of anyone being able to do so.
Regardless, she was his best bet, and when we got through this — because all of us were getting through this — I’d give Essie my long overdue apology and beg her to help him whether our souls were still bound together or not.
But until then, all I could do was try to convince him he was free and he didn’t have to placate me or anyone else.
“You’re free. I swear it.” Or as free as he could get with his soul bound to mine. “Free to use my name, and Sebastian’s, and anyone else’s, and free to say what you think.”
Still nothing.
Did he think this was some kind of trap? That I’d tell him he could do something then punish him for it?
Dread tightened in my gut. “Oh, God. Did Deaglan hurt you for things he said you could do?” No wonder Rin didn’t trust me. He probably didn’t trust anyone. I couldn’t imagine what five hundred years of always being on guard, always being in pain, did to a person.
I’d only spent a hundred years desperate to be in control so I’d never be taken again. It had been exhausting and soul-crushing and I’d been free, not someone’s slave. I hadn’t even known the truth of how exhausting it had been until I’d found Sebastian and Hawk and trusted them enough to just be myself with them.
I stepped close, the need to go to Rin overwhelming me. I cupped his cheeks, his undead skin unnaturally warm against my cold fingers, and drew his forehead down to mine. My desire for him swelled, but my need to steady his soul as if we were both shifters was stronger, and while I knew my feelings towards him were only because of the brand, in that moment I didn’t care.
“Please believe me. I will never purposely hurt you,” I said.
Please, God, believe me. You shouldn’t have to be on guard all the time.
“Even after we’re free of each other, I won’t hurt you. None of the guys will, either.”
“You can’t promise that,” he said.
“You’re right I can’t.”
Please trust me.
Please don’t betray me.
Because there was still a chance he’d think delivering me to Deaglan was the best way to survive.
“I suspect they wouldn’t react well if you hurt me,” I said.
“I’m not sure I can hurt you. The bond is…” Another spark popped from his eye, brushing my cheek with a glorious kiss of heat before vanishing. “…compelling.”
That was an understatement.
I huffed and eased back so I could look him in the eyes. “How very diplomatic of you. It’s driving me crazy and I only branded you two days ago. It’s only going to get worse until we seal the bond or get rid of it, and it tells me I can trust you, that you won’t betray me to Deaglan.” The words slipped out before I could stop them. I shouldn’t have confessed that. If he was lying about how the bond was influencing him, he could use that information to hurt me.
But God, I wanted him to not hurt me, wanted him to not be the monster I’d thought he was when we’d first met, the monster that my brand assured me he wasn’t.
Chapter 6
Rin
I stared at her, fighting to find my stillness, but the pond inside me had been roiling since the portal had spat us into the Winter Court’s throne room—
No, I’d been roiling since I’d met her and was still a raging storm from watching her have sex with Prince Seireadan and Hawk.
It had been an exquisite torture. The sounds she’d made still rang in my ears, every moan and gasp teasing me, urging me to be the one to bring her such pleasure. She even still glowed with the light that had undulated through her body, growing brighter and brighter as her pleasure grew.
And now here she was, her delicate hands still on my cheeks, her fear and need and hope exposed and raw in her eyes.
She wanted to trust me, had come out and said what terrified her — although from the way her eyes had flashed wide, she hadn’t wanted to confess that.
She needed my help to get out of the Winter Court and was smart enough to realize that, but she didn’t trust what our soul bond was telling her.
Well I didn’t trust it, either.
Except my desire aside, the rest of me knew she wouldn’t hurt me even if we hadn’t been soul bonded. She was an angel with healing magic. I wasn’t sure she was capable of taking a life.
Of course, that didn’t mean Prince Seireadan wouldn’t hurt me. He didn’t behave like any other Faerie royal I’d ever encountered, but that didn’t mean anything. Princess Amiah and the others were clearly close to him, his trusted confidants. He’d already told Hawk if I took too much fae magic while sucking out his demonic magic infection, the incubus could do whatever he wanted to stop me so long as it didn’t kill me and endanger the princess.
“Rin?” Fear crept into Princess Amiah’s eyes and she shifted back a step, sending more waves crashing through my mental pond.
I’d taken too long to reply and had broken the tentative trust she’d been trying to build by assuring me I was free.
“I can’t return to the Shadow King.” Not that I ever wanted to, and I wasn’t stupid enough to think bringing him the princess would stop him from killing me. I’d broken free. Even if it hadn’t been my doing, I’d still escaped. That was unforgivable.
Princess Amiah’s eyes narrowed. “Can’t? That doesn’t make me feel better.”
My only option was to help Prince Seireadan get the key and hope he’d use it to break my soul bond with the woman he loved.
And the prince would never forgive me if I let anything happen to her. While it was clear the Winter Queen didn’t want Princess Amiah dead — or at least not right away — that didn’t mean she wouldn’t torture her. We needed to get moving, get out of the Winter Court and into the Wilds. It would be harder for the Winter Queen to send constructs after us and dangerous for her to send high fae. I wasn’t sure how the Wilds would react to the princess since she had the high fae’s full-body glow but wasn’t really high fae, but it was still our best bet.