Luke scoffed at that. "I've had Sam. Right now, you're the only one who hasn't."
I pulled away and sat up. "There is nothing wrong with him loving his legion."
Luke tried to pull me back down, but I resisted, so he rolled face up to see me. "Before Sia, he was the glue that held the First Legion together. He mended rifts between us, gave us a shoulder to lean on, cry on, or scream at, and he's not ashamed of what he's done. We shouldn't be either. My point was more that you're so worried about me that you're forgetting to worry about yourself." He pulled in a long breath. "I don't expect you to keep your hands off the others, genius. We've talked about this."
"But you won't touch them." I lifted my chin, daring him to deny it.
Luke closed his eyes in defeat. "Would you believe me if I said you're all I need?"
"No."
Because that was not how it worked. That was the lie Sia kept telling herself, and I'd heard it all too often. Usually, it came after she looked at one of these demons and then felt guilty for it. For Luke, it would be no different. We were legion, but that didn't mean we were without our problems. Just like any family, there would be disagreements and misunderstandings. The only difference between the First Legion and all others was that they had found a way to work through them.
Which was when I realized what Luke meant. Their miraculous solution was Sam. The small demon who'd earned the title of Leader of Warriors. The man who'd found a way to pair his paltry aethersmithing abilities with limited combat strength to make himself so much more. The guy who'd been in every bed his legion had, most likely because that was where he'd been needed.
Although that was over. Now that he was with Sia, he wouldn't wander. These men loved her too much to do anything that would hurt her. Part of me wondered if that was Luke's problem as well. He knew his legion didn't hold him to the same standards he held himself. They trusted him and wanted him to be happy.
Luke, though, was convinced that he owed them a little more. That he still owed Nick everything. And then there was the problem of me and my lack of experience. Together, it all added up to be one more excuse for Luke to cling to, and I thought he deserved so much more.
He reached out to twine his fingers with mine. "What's going on in that amazing head of yours?"
I sighed before lying back down - this time with my head properly pillowed by his shoulder. "I talked to Sia about this today. When Bel came to get his skin, I mean. She is having trouble convincing her heart to accept what her mind knows to be true. Believing and feeling. They aren't always the same thing. Never mind that for her entire life, she's been told that living like this is wrong. A sin. What's your excuse, Luke? Why are you so adamant that you can't be with anyone but me? Is it because you think I'll feel unworthy because I'm the cripple?"
"No!" he hissed, wrapping his arm around my back to hold me against him. "I've already told you that I didn't mean to fall in love with you. I still did. I'm also terrified that Michael is out there, planning something, and we aren't sure if anyone can refill you yet. You have no wards, but your skin is better than any protection I could make."
I looked up to meet his eyes. "That's a deception, Lucifer. We both know that Sia will give the legion access before I leave this plane again."
"Which you need to do soon," he pointed out. "The pair of you need to learn how to fly. She's mastered as much as she can here, which means we need to make sure she's not visible on the other planes. Somewhere out there, the angels will find us. Michael won't let them ignore us, so they will fight us, and she won't be completely ready. Nor will you. That's all I'm saying."
"And you have completely changed the subject," I pointed out. "I'm asking about who you're interested in but avoiding. You love this legion. It was the first thing I knew about you. The thing that brought us together. So why do you keep holding yourself apart from them?" Reaching my arm across his chest, I added, "This isn't me trying to change your mind. I want to be your best friend, Lucifer. Not just your lover, but the man you can share anything with. So talk to me?"
"Not yet." He pressed his cheek against the top of my head where I'd formerly had nubs for horns. "The legion is changing. Ever since Sia locked Daemin, there's been a shift, and I can't quite figure out what it is. Before you say anything, it's not you. This goes deeper than one person, and it's why I've convinced Nick to wait before we start chasing Michael and worrying about dragons. Before we can stand against anyone, we need to know that we really are standing together."
"Yeah," I agreed. "Do you think it's because a few months ago, it was just Nick, Sam, and you?"
"Some," he admitted. "I also think a lot of it is the pressure of having the greatest Muse in all history."
"Why?"
He chuckled softly, my head bouncing with the sound. "Because she's the Demons' Muse, genius. She doesn't inspire humanity like all the others. This one? She inspires demons."
"And?" I asked.
"And she's not a leader. She's a weapon. The greatest one the five planes have ever seen, but she's not interested in leading anything. Sia just does, and if she doesn't have direction, then it's going to get ugly. Right now, we have a dragon by the tail, and we're all trying desperately to point her the right way. She's too strong for us to control, and our only hope is to work together. All of us, Ron, which includes you."
"I'm learning," I assured him.
"I meant with them." He looked down at my face. "I mean that you're not just mine. You're a demon, and I've lived among these guys long enough to know exactly what that means. You're so worried about who may have caught my eye that you refuse to admit that you've also been looking. Bel told me about his new skin."
Oh, that wasn't good. "Which part?" I asked, hoping to do a little damage control.
Luke grinned. "The part where you were ogling his naked body. Especially the bit about how you blushed when his wings began to unfurl. Genius, you're not blind, and I certainly don't expect you to be. I just expect you to be mine too."
"It's not that easy," I reminded him.
He curled around me, hugging my head against him. "No, it's not. That's what I mean, though. Nick's got his shit. Bel has some too, but different. I have my hang-ups, you have yours, and Sia has a pretty impressive list of them. I think the only one of us with his head on straight is Sam."
"Then we all need to talk to Sam," I decided.
"I'll make you a deal," he teased.
I laughed against his chest. "What deal, Lucifer?"
"I'll tell Sam everything I'm worried about if you'll do the same?"
"Deal," I agreed before he could take it back. "And who's going to get Bel to talk to him?"
Luke leaned back and shifted lower in the grass. Low enough that his face was even with mine. "I already have. Believe it or not, I do have a few good ideas on my own."
"I never said - "
But I didn't get to finish that before he kissed me, cutting the words off. Not a simple kiss, but the kind that made me press into him. The type that made my own fairy wings spread open as I hooked a leg over his. When my fingers slipped into his hair, I could feel the dampness from his dip in the brook, but it was more cool than wet. Just enough of a shock to keep this from getting out of hand.