Her hands find my shoulders but come to rest on my biceps where my muscles tense beneath her touch. I must have her. Ember Lord needs to be mine.
As I’m about to pull her even closer, she breaks off the kiss and steps back quickly. “Oh, wow. I’m sorry... I ah...” Her cheeks blush and she twists her fingers together.
I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “Are you okay?”
She nods, her eyes focused only on mine. “So... the carnival?” she asks.
The next two hours blur into a constant stream of laughter, talking, and stupid side show games where Ember beats me a few times, and I win her a giant stuffed dog with a bright red plastic collar. She tucks it under her arm as we make our way through the crowd. “Thank you for tonight, I had so much fun.”
I drop my arm over her shoulders. “I still can’t believe you’ve never been to a carnival.”
She runs her hand over the dog’s head tracing the curve of the black stitching. “There wasn’t much around our area. I was lucky to see a car most days.”
When we get back to the car, I open Ember’s door hoping for another kiss, but there’s a cloud of melancholy surrounding her, and I don’t know why.
She drops her head and slides into the front seat. As I drive, she’s quieter than she’s been all night. From the corner of my eye I watch her fiddle with the plastic tag hanging from the stuffed dog’s collar.
She mumbles something I can’t hear.
“Did you say something, Em?”
“Mack.” She sighs and leans back in the seat then pulls the dog to her chest. “It’s name’s Mack.”
“The dog?”
She nods, but doesn’t talk again until we’re back at her apartment and she invites me up for a beer.
Inside, Ember sits the stuffed dog on the sofa and goes to the kitchen where she grabs a beer and a glass of cola. “Are you looking forward to Flynn and Autumn’s engagement party?” she asks.
“Yeah, should be good. Autumn’s gone crazy though. Decorations, fairy lights, statues, paper lanterns, the works. It’s going to be huge.”
She leans back on the sofa and takes a sip of her drink. “I can’t wait. Autumn’s been so kind to me. I’m grateful to have her as a friend, and you guys of course.”
It’s not until I notice the silence that I realise I’ve been staring at Ember for almost a full minute.
When she speaks again, my eyes are drawn to her full lips. “Steel, can I ask you something... personal?”
I shrug. “Sure.”
“Why did you start drinking and smoking?”
She’s yet to find out about the drugs, and I’m desperately trying to keep it that way. I’ve had more luck than my brothers have with their harpies. Indya’s pretty laid back, and as long as she gets to spend the nights with me, she doesn’t push or taunt anywhere near as much as the other harpies do. But when she’s pissed, she’s really pissed.
“I don’t know. They were there, I guess, so I used them. You really don’t like it, do you?”
She looks down at the glass in her hands. “I’m sorry, I just don’t understand it.”
“You don’t have to understand it, Em, I don’t even understand it most of the time.” The lie comes easily. I hate that about myself. I don’t want to lie to her.
I shuffle across the sofa until I’m close enough to touch her while still being mindful not to push her too far, too fast. I put my hand over hers where it rests on the sofa between us.
“Do you mind me calling you Whiskey? I can stop if it makes you uncomfortable.”
Never stop. “Actually, I love it.” I laugh to myself. “You make me feel... important.” Fuck, I’m pathetic. What’s happening to me?
She leans across and puts her glass on the table, then pulls her legs up on the sofa to face me. “I wish there was something I could do to help you.”
Kiss me. Touch me. Put those lips all over my body.
I hesitate before I lean across and press my lips to hers. I can’t get enough of her, and with each kiss I want more. So much more. At first, the kiss is slow and gentle, then, she laces her fingers behind my neck as her tongue darts into my mouth. A tiny moan escapes as she moves closer, getting to her knees and rubbing her hands over my shoulders.
I slide my hands up her thighs and over the swell of her hips before I pull her onto me.
I’m lying beneath her on the sofa while she writhes on top of me. Her breasts are pressed against my chest, and she’s kissing me back with desperation.
Ripples of pleasure flow through me as I slide my hands over her ass and grind my hips toward hers, causing her to moan out loud.
When she presses herself against my growing cock, and spreads her legs, I let out a groan of pleasure.
Suddenly, she jumps to her feet and wraps her arms around herself. “I’m sorry.” She steps back. “I’m so sorry, Steel.”
I sit up and run my hands through my hair. “No, don’t be sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you or—I should have asked.”
She raises a hand. “It’s me. I promise... it’s not you. This is all me.”
I stand, and when I approach her, she looks anxious, scared almost. I give her a quick kiss on the cheek. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
She nods. “I’ll see you at work, kay?”
That’s my cue to leave. After saying goodbye, I leave her apartment to see Carter standing at the end of the corridor. “Let me know if she leaves tonight.”
CHAPTER FIVE
Just a number.
ALEC
LEANING AGAINST THE WALL in the weapons room with my arms crossed over my chest, I watch Skylar push her knives into the sheaths on her belt. She loves this part; she loves getting out of the warehouse and having the opportunity to intimidate people. Although I’m not sure we’ll get the chance tonight, it’s still a break from the monotony of the warehouse.
Me? I’m not much of a fighter... I mean I can fight, and can fight well, but I prefer not to. When you’ve done it a hundred times, putting your fist into someone’s jaw loses its appeal pretty quickly.
“I can’t believe Twelve’s letting me out, asshole hardly ever lets me go anywhere.” Skylar pulls on her leather jacket, then runs her fingers through her blonde hair. “Can we go now?”
I nod, extend my hand toward the door and follow her out.
The drive toward Mount Cole is silent, and if there’s one thing I hate, it’s silence. Not being able to speak is the bane of my existence. I want to shout, I want to curse the world, and I want to tell Skylar how much I love the sound of her voice, and the way her hands feel when she touches me. I want to tell her, her lips taste like candy and the way she breathes my name makes me feel like I’m more than just a number in this fucked up world.
If only I hadn’t stood up to Corbin that one time.
Skylar turns on the radio and I plant my foot to the floor as I block out the music and think back to the split-second decision that changed my life.
The Den was the only place I feared.
In the boxing ring, on the mats, in the warehouse, I was capable of looking after myself. I’d been a Nine for almost two years, but no matter how hard I trained, or how hard I pushed myself, I stayed there, at number-fucking-Nine.