I hold in the good, that’s all he deserves comment because I know that isn’t what she wants to hear.
“What about his temper?” I bite out instead.
“It’s the same,” she admits. “But I’m handling it.”
“What about college?” I plead, hoping for good news. “Have you heard back from the scholarship people?”
After my money got stolen, I encouraged her to apply for the scholarship program, just in case things didn’t work out for me. April is smart as all hell, and I know that she’s capable of getting through any college course, but I’m afraid that she won’t be able to get the scholarship because good things like that just don't seem to happen to my family.
“Yeah, it’s not good news,” she replies, making my heart sink into my shoes. This might have been the outcome that I was expecting, but that doesn’t make it any less distressing to hear. This was my last hope, the only other option that didn’t rely on me. “I don't know what I’m going to do now that they’ve rejected me. I guess I either apply for a lesser school, set my sights a little lower than Ivy League, or I somehow come up with hundreds of thousands of dollars in just a few short weeks.”
I don't like hearing the defeatism in her tone, it makes me feel sad for her. It isn’t fair that someone so smart should have her dreams dashed just because she comes from the wrong kind of family. Just because we’re poor she shouldn’t have to be a lesser person than she is.
“Okay,” I reply, with a newfound sense of determination. I have allowed my mind to get distracted recently, to become consumed by other things, and this phone call has been the kick up the ass that I need to remind me of what I came here for and what I need to do. “Don't do anything rash just yet, just give me a little more time.”
“Sis,” April replies frustrated. “I know that you want to help, but I really think that I need to start taking this seriously and consider other options. I don't want to leave it too late and end up stuck here for another year.”
“That won’t happen,” I assure her. “I can promise you that. If you want to apply to somewhere else, just for a backup, then please do but don't accept anything yet. Just give me a little bit more time...”
“Okay,” she says, but with a sadness in her tone. There’s a definite resignation there, which is difficult to hear, but I’m certain it won’t be there forever. I will find a way to solve this, no matter what. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”
“Yeah, love you, sis.”
“Love you too.”
Once I hang up the phone, with that new kick up the ass, I set about calling Sean once more. I know that I might not particularly enjoy conning him to get the algorithm for Zach, but he’s paying me well, and I goddamn well need that money.
I need to think about me and I need to think about April – my family – not some guy that I barely even know. I can’t worry about some man that runs a multimillion dollar business with no worries in the world. He might not understand what I have to do, but if I do it well he will never be able to find out anyway. Zach will simply win their stupid test thing and that will be the end of it. All the while, I can give April a shot.
As the phone rings, my heart races and I feel a cold wash of doubt starting to creep in. I’ve run cons before – admittedly not with so much at stake – but I’ve never second-guessed myself so much. I’m always so clear-cut in what I need to do, and how I need to do that, whereas this time, I feel like everything I’m doing in wrong.
“Hello?” Sean answers with a warmth to his tone. “Michaela, how are you?”
He’s acting like it’s been a while since we spoke, rather than a couple of days, which fills me with a sense of happiness. I’ve never really been missed before, not genuinely anyway, and it honestly feels really nice.
Stop it, I warn myself. Stop falling for him.
“Hi, I’m good, thank you – how are you?”
“I’m good, been busy though.” My heart races, wondering if he’s actually looked for Derek and if he’s managed to find anything. I haven’t managed to get anywhere with that before, I’ve looked but I’ve obviously been going about it in all the wrong places, so it’ll be interesting to see if this man with all this technology at his fingertips will be able to do any better than I. But I can’t ask... first off that isn’t why I’m in contact with him, and secondly I don't want to seem too eager. I don't want to come across like I’m using him. “However, I have been meaning to contact you... I have a dinner to go to tomorrow night, and I wondered if you would like to come with me? It might be pretty boring, but I think it’ll be a lot more entertaining if you’re there with me.”
“You think?” I laugh, the butterflies inside of me fluttering a little too wildly for my liking. “That sounds great, I’d love to.”
“Shall I pick you up at around eight? I know where you live now!”
“Thank you, I will see you then.”
As we finish the phone call, I realize that there’s a smile playing on my lips just from speaking to him. Despite my internal warnings, I can’t stop myself from liking him far more than I should, and it’s making me question everything.
I wish that there was a more honest way to earn the money that I need, anything that meant I didn’t have to do this to someone that I’m accidently developing genuine feelings for, but there isn’t – I really have tried. The money that Zach wants to pay me is more than I could have ever dreamed, and I really need that. There’s no escaping that unfortunately – there’s no way out. I’m going to have to hurt the man that I care so deeply about, just to give my sister a future.
Come on, I try to steel myself. Go and get a dress, go and have this dinner. Make Sean fall for you, trust you, then get what needs to be done. It might not feel good, but that’s it. That’s the hand that you’ve been dealt in life.
Ugh, I really do hate the person that I’ve become, and I know that when all of this is over, I might need to make some very difficult changes. That’s going to suck, but it’s better than continuing down this path that is starting to make me so unhappy.
7
Sean
For a brief second, I did consider taking Michaela to the dinner in style by hiring a limo for the event, but I changed my mind and took the Cadillac instead – the car that impressed her once before – and as she struts out of her apartment building dressed in a high street dress that she somehow manages to look like designer, I realize that I’ve made the right choice
This girl is different from anyone else I’ve ever met, and she deserves unique too.
“Wow,” I gasp in appreciation as she slides into the car. “You look amazing.” I run my eyes up and down the dark green dress that’s hugging her curves, and her long legs that peek out from beneath it, feeling a strain in my slacks. There’s just something about this girl, something that drives me so wild that I actually want to put in the effort to break down her tough exterior. “Really sexy.”