He leans in even closer, and plunges his tongue deep into me, which causes me to scream. I don't even care if we’re going to get caught now, if anyone can hear us, I’m too lost for that, too consumed by Sean. He then alternates between flicking amazing feeling patterns over my clit, and tasting deep within me, until I get to the point where I can barely take it anymore.
“I need you,” Sean pants at me, putting his hands under my back and tugging me into an upright position. As he places my feet on the floor, I go to kick off the heels because they are the last thing that I’m wearing, but he stops me instantly. “No,” he growls. “Keep them on.”
I comply happily, as he kisses me hard, pushing me up against the wall until I’m shocked by the cold hardness behind me. I wrap my arms tightly around his neck and he angles himself to slip inside of me, causing us both to cry out in joy. As he thrusts against me hard and fast, taking me somewhere that I’ve never been before, I realize that I’m glad I gave into temptation. It might have seemed like a crazy idea at the time, but now I can see that I never would have been able to keep spending time with Sean without doing this.
It might be horribly wrong, and against all of my rules, but it feels so fucking right.
I dig my nails into his back, clinging onto him with my nails as he fucks me roughly up against the wall. This is exactly what I’ve always wanted from a sexual partner, and what I’ve never gotten before, which is amazing. Even when I was with Derek, and I was madly in love with him, it didn’t feel this good.
Maybe I just allowed myself to act like I was satisfied, because I was too young to know any better.
I just wish that this thing with Sean didn’t have to be so short-term, I wish desperately that there was another way that I could get the money I so desperately need, so that we could be together.
“Wait,” he suddenly gasps, pulling out of me and leaving me cold, exposed and alone. I’m half tempted to throw my arms across my body and protect myself, but as I see him pull a condom out of his pocket, I don't.
Instead I move closer to him and I encourage him to lie down on the floor. Once he’s lying down, finally submissive to me for a nice change, I slide down onto his length and start to screw him. The angle that I’m at has him brushing past my clit with every single thrust, and it isn’t long before the orgasm is screaming right through me, shattering my body in a way that I really wasn't expecting.
As I lose myself, Sean sits up and throws his arms around me, kissing me tenderly in a way that makes me feel closer to him than ever before. It’s addictive, feeling like I’m cared about when I’ve never really had that before, and I can feel myself getting lost within Sean, eating up everything that he’s silently offering me, however dangerous that might be.
I watch Sean become vulnerable as the pleasure gets hold of him too, and in that moment he’s more attractive to me than anyone has ever been before. Even though he seems like quite an open book, this moment shows me the truth of his soul, the kind good man that lies beneath there. It makes me feel even worse about what I’m doing to him and I wish that there was a way I could stop.
Sean doesn’t deserve this, he doesn’t deserve any of it, why can’t there be anyone else that I could do this to?
As we collapse breathlessly into one another’s arms, I allow him to hold me for a moment, and I close my eyes, my mind wandering, picturing a future that will never be. I imagine him hugging me, kissing me, taking me back downstairs, following on to our lives where we’re happy and together as a real life couple. It kills me to think of things like this when I know they aren’t possible, but there isn’t a damn thing that I can do about that.
“Come on,” Sean mutters to me, standing us both upright. “We better get dressed – much as I want to stay here with you, the maid could be back at any moment.”
“Finally starting to see the benefit of spending time in these fancy hotels?” I joke, trying to make light of my deep unsettled feelings. “It can be a lot of fun, huh?”
“It wouldn’t be a waste of money with you,” he smiles, pulling me in for another hug and kiss. “But that’s because I can’t imagine any time with you being boring.”
“Me neither,” I mutter sadly, really feeling the same way as him. “I always enjoy spending time with you.”
Goddamn it, what the fuck is happening to me? Why can’t I seem to control myself and my feelings?
9
Sean
We tug our clothes on quickly, the high atmosphere of doing something so illicit and taboo still coursing through our veins. We’re giggling together, acting like crazy teenagers, and it’s honestly the happiest that I’ve felt in a very long time.
This girl, whoever she may be, I can never let her go.
Unfortunately, as I tug my phone out of my pocket I can see that I have far too many missed calls from Gavin to be normal. Something has happened, something potentially life changing, and I need to know what. Maybe he has finally ironed out all of our issues with the system, and I’ll be able to find out some solid information about Derek, something to take to Michaela.
I know that I should have already told her about me seeing him on the CCTV cameras by that dodgy nightclub, but since he only cropped up once I didn’t want to get her hopes up for something that isn’t solid. He could have left the city by now for all I know, and I only want her to know when I know much more about him.
Shit, but I cannot make the call with Michaela here.
“I err... I have to get back to the office,” I say regretfully, hating the way that her face falls at that statement. “I’m really sorry.”
“It’s okay,” she quickly regains her cool facade. “I can meet my friend anyway. I’ve been promising to see her for ages and I keep meaning to, so I’ll give her a text now.”
I watch her as she pulls out her phone and sends a message to someone, feeling my heart ache. I wish that I had met her at some other time in my life, when I wasn't so wrapped up in this stupid work project that I have to complete, but Gavin’s words about losing everything because of this woman are still haunting me, and I’m trying my best to refocus my attention onto my business – the company that I’ve worked so hard to build.
It’s just so damn hard when she’s here, looking as sexy as that.
I drop her off outside of the cafe where she’s meeting her friends, with a promise to hook up later in the week, and as she steps out of the car I grab my phone to finally call Gavin back, needing to hear what he has to say.
“What’s going on?” I ask, the second he picks up the phone, not even giving him a chance to speak. “What are you calling about?”
“First off, I need to tell you that we finally have the algorithm completed – we have succeeded in getting it to the CIA’s specification.” He sounds excited by this, but I can tell that there’s a note of trepidation too, which has me all worked up. What the fuck is going on here? Why isn’t this good news? “But the... side project that you’re working on...” he starts cautiously, talking about Derek Moss. “That has finally pulled up some solid results too.”