As the fireworks explode within me, I find myself wanting more, needing more, and it kills me that I can’t go there...
“Wow,” Sean grins pulling back from me. “Sorry about that, I just had to know what it would be like to kiss you. I’ve been thinking about it all night.”
“Me too,” I rasp a little too honestly, allowing my head to swim in desire. “That was... something else.”
“Come on,” he wraps his arm around me, making me feel a strange sense of comfort that I haven’t ever gotten before. “Let’s walk you home.”
My brain is all over the place as he takes me back. I’m all messed up and confused because I’m feeling things that I really don't know how to deal with.
This is just a job, I try my best to remind myself. Just a job. You cannot feel anything!
“I’m here,” I admit, outside an embarrassing apartment block. I suddenly realize that in my distraction I’ve accidently allowed myself to be taken to my actual home. Usually, I find a fake house to pretend is my own, but with Sean, I’ve taken him to where I actually live. This is dangerous – the more he knows about me, the worse that could become.
“Can I have your number?” Sean asks me, sounding a little nervous. “I would love to take you out sometime?”
For a split second I consider dropping this completely and telling him no, but then I remember why I’m doing this, who I need to support, so I nod and read out my digits to him. As soon as my number is in his phone, he kisses me lightly on the cheek and starts to walk away. While he leaves, I stand there in shock, just watching him go, the man who has somehow managed to turn everything on its head in only a few short seconds.
How am I going to do this? I think to myself as he vanishes from my sight. How am I going to come out of this alive?
3
Sean
“So I had a thought about doing it this way...” Gavin tells me, showing me a whole bunch of computer coding, which is far less exciting to me than normal. “What do you think?”
“Yeah, yeah...” I nod trying desperately to focus. This is the most important job of my career, yet my mind is all over the place. I’m no longer thinking about only getting the CIA contract and one-upping Zach with what I do best, my mind is wandering, thinking about the flame-haired beauty who captured my heart. I never normally get my head so wrapped up in any chick before, and I keep trying to work out what it is about her that’s so damn special, but I can’t seem to zone in on anything. It’s just her, just Michaela, and that’s amazing to me.
I never normally kiss women out in public, for fear of getting photographed by the society magazines, or for allowing other women to think that I’m in a relationship, putting them off of me in the future. I like to keep my options open, so I always wait until we’re at either my home or hers before making that first move.
But with Michaela I just wanted to kiss her like crazy. I just had a whim and went for it, and didn’t look back. It was easily the best experience of my whole damn life.
She seemed a little blown away by my actions, but happy too. I’m certain that she likes me and that she wants to take it further, but that she has her guard up, a wall that I’m going to have to work at tearing down. But I have a feeling that this girl will be worth it.
“Boss, are you okay?” Gavin asks me, pushing his glasses further up to his eyes. “You seem a little... distracted.”
I stare at him for a moment, wondering whether or not I should open up for a moment. Gavin and I are good friends, and we have a lot in common when it comes to work, plus he’s always been the one person that I can trust no matter what. The only problem is that he’s so involved in his work that I’ve never seen him in a relationship. I’ve never even seen him interested in anyone, so I don't know how much he will understand.
Then again, I need to tell someone!
“I met a woman,” I grin excitedly. “At the CIA party.”
“Yeah?” Gavin asks a little warily, as if he fears I might leap into a sexual exploitation tale at any given moment. “You did?”
“She was the niece of someone there.” It suddenly hits me that I never asked who. “And she’s absolutely stunning.” Instead of describing her, because I know my words will never be able to do her any justice, I pull my phone out and show him a selection of the pictures I took of her – one of which is likely still on the advertising board in the city center. I can’t help but wonder how many people have stared at it a little confused, wondering what the hell Michaela is advertising.
I expect Gavin to be impressed by the gorgeous woman that I’ve managed to pull, the one that has butterflies swimming all around me from simply looking at her, but weirdly he looks a little confused.
“And she was at the CIA party?” He asks warily. “Like... how did you guys meet?”
“She was at the bar, waiting for her uncle, and I went over to speak to her,” for some reason I feel a little defensive about this. He’s making me feel a little weird and I don't know why.
“And her uncle didn’t show up?”
I narrow my eyes and stare at him, trying to figure out where the hell he’s going with this. “No, but we weren’t there for much longer. We went out to spend some time alone.” My heart pounds as I watch his face go through a range of emotions. What the fuck is going on inside of Gavin’s mind?
“And you don't think that she was there as a trap?”
“A trap?” I ask, completely stunned by his question. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“I don't know,” his face flushes with embarrassment as I grill him intently. “Like a honey trap I suppose.”
“Why the hell would she be a honey trap?” I’m not married, I don't have some wife trying to detect an affair, so why the fuck would there be a honey trap sent my way? That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.
“I don't know, it just seems a little strange...” Gavin has his thinking face on, which is successfully pissing me off even further. Is he for real? Does he actually think that all of this stuff is happening? “Just maybe be careful around her. Don't give her any information if she starts asking for it. It might be some kind of CIA test.”
Uh oh... for some reason that kind of rings a bell. The CIA has had me jumping through hoops for this account, so would it be too unbelievable to think that they would go this far? We are dealing with a high-end security issue, which might need to be tested.
If this is the case, which I really hope it isn’t, the only good thing that could come of it would be that weasel Zach going through the same thing. He will be much more likely to cave than me! Especially now that I’m more aware of it. I can have a steel barrier over anything that could get me into trouble.
But as I glance down at the photographs on my phone again, my entire being trembles with sadness. Michaela is the first girl that I’ve felt anything real for in a very long time, the first one that I’ve been willing to break all of my stupid rules for, and I might be about to discover that it’s all a lie. I honestly don't know what I will do with myself if she turns out to be a fake.