Zowen pulled free and shook his head, but he gave me a grin in the process. “That’s easy for you to say. You’ve never done what anyone else wants you to do. You’ve always gone your own way.”
It was true. I definitely carved my own path over the years and made a lot of noise while doing it, but the walk was admittedly a long and lonely one. Refusing to adhere to anyone else’s standards or expectations meant I often left a trail of disappointment behind me. I could never be what others wanted me to be, no matter how hard I tried. If I could, I would’ve transformed myself into the type of girl Hyde wanted to be with all those years ago and saved myself a lot of heartache. For better or worse, I was unrepentantly true to myself, even when it got me into trouble.
The door to the garage opened just as Zowen was putting the last of his tools away. I thought it would be my mom checking up on us or harassing us to come inside for dinner since both her kids were in the same place at the same time for once. Zowen was home for a long weekend from school, mostly to use the garage and badger Mom to do his mountains of laundry. I’d stopped by to see him since he’d been busy with school almost from the moment I’d moved back to Denver. There hadn’t been a lot of one-on-one time because I was working, so the weekends, when he was home, were really the only time to connect. It was still uncomfortable for me to be around my mom after finding out the part she played in blowing up my young love. I almost let out a sigh of relief when my dad was the one who walked through the door instead of her. He didn’t miss the way my face relaxed when I realized it was him instead of my mother making her way toward us.
He gave me a hard look out of icy blue eyes, but didn’t berate me for still being upset and standoffish toward my mom, even though it’d been years. The only reason he ratted her out was because there had been a Christmas not long after the incident where I was really struggling. I’d just switched my medication and wasn’t adjusted fully, so I was depressed and caught up in my feelings when everything around me was lit up bright and cheery. I was thinking about all the holidays my father had to miss with his family when he was younger and enlisted, which led me to wonder how Hyde was doing now that he was in the military, so far away and removed from his loved ones. His family was just as close-knit as mine. I felt bad he’d left his family, and I blamed myself and my actions for sending him running, not just from me, but his whole life in Denver.
My dad panicked, worried I was going to spiral again, and in his desperation to pull me out of the dreary and dangerous thoughts, he let me know part of the reason Hyde left was because my mom begged him to. He hadn’t pushed me once to reconcile after spilling the beans about the conversation he overheard the night I was in the hospital. Initially, I was angry at him, too, for keeping something so big from me for so long. I wanted to run away from both my parents and never see them again. I was convinced they were conspiring against me and trying to ruin my life, so I had to leave, and didn’t plan to look back. Eventually, with the right meds and even more therapy, I realized the only person who was responsible for Hyde slipping away in the middle of the night, like some kind of criminal, was Hyde. I understood my parents were just trying to protect me. It was easier for me to forgive my father because he only kept an important piece of information from me. My mom was a different story. She actively interfered in my life, which I’d always hated more than anything. Even if it was for my own good.
“I thought I saw your car out front. I didn’t know you were coming by.” My dad wrapped me in a one-armed hug that felt more like coming home than when I signed a lease for a loft in LoDo. Even though he was starting to go gray at the temples, had a few wrinkles on his forehead and around his bright blue eyes, and had lost a little of the impressive muscle definition from his time as a soldier, my dad was still the most handsome man in the world to me. His strength and careful way of observing everyone and everything around him was always my biggest comfort. He was a security blanket and guard dog all wrapped up in one. The safest place I’d ever been was inside one of his hugs, even when I was mad at him.
I wrapped my arms around his trim waist and hugged him back. “I was helping Zowen with his bike.”
Zowen snorted and narrowed his eyes as he sarcastically taunted, “Helping? She doesn’t know a socket wrench from a screwdriver.”
My dad chuckled as I kicked out a foot and caught Zowen in the shin. I snapped back the same way I’d done since we were kids, “Fine. I came to see Zowen because I was bored and had no one else to hang out with now that Bowe moved back to Austin.”
My dad dropped a kiss on the crown of my head and gave me a squeeze. “Since you’re here, how about you stay for dinner? That would make your mom really happy.”
I stiffened automatically but didn’t outright refuse the way I would in the past. I knew my dad felt bad for being the one who let the truth out, thus causing the rift between my mom and me, so he’d been on a mission ever since to bring us all back together as a family. There was a good chance I would’ve let my fury at her deception overtake everything forever if my cousins, Ry and Daire, hadn’t nearly died in a horrifying traffic accident recently. Watching my aunt and uncle fall apart, barely able to function, while my parents held them together was a stark reminder that family was forever, no matter their faults, and forgiveness was much more powerful than anger would ever be. I took it as a sign of maturity and mental stability that I was willing to see the other side of the coin, rather than focusing on all the hurt I still carried from her choice to try and save me from myself.
If only she hadn’t had to sacrifice Hyde in the process.
My brother caught my eye and mouthed the word ‘stay.’ He was as eager as my father was for all the broken fences in our family to mend.
I heaved a heavy sigh and reluctantly agreed to stay for dinner. My dad’s smile was worth the uneasy hour or so I knew was bound to follow.
As we were making our way from the large, detached garage through the backyard, my dad tugged on my elbow and pulled me to a stop, while Zowen went ahead into the house where we’d grown up.
I thought he was going to warn me to play nice with my mom because we both had big personalities and were stubborn as hell, so when we clashed it wasn’t fun for anyone in the vicinity. I was taken aback when he, instead, told me in an eerily similar way to Zowen, “I don’t want you to be blindsided if your mom seems extra worried about you tonight. I met with Zeb Fuller the other day to work on one of the buildings we’re renovating, and he mentioned his son is moving back to town. Your mom knows, so she’s likely to be more concerned about your well-being than normal. It’s just the way she is.”
I blinked at him for a minute before clearing my throat so I could sound self-assured when I spoke, since I wasn’t really feeling that way. Zowen’s worry and my dad’s concern I could deal with in small doses; my mom’s overprotective tendencies tended to be suffocating and overwhelming.
“I know. I saw Joss the other day, and she told me he was coming home. It’s okay, Dad. I know he’s with someone now and we’re not kids anymore. I’m fine. I can handle being in the same city as him without causing another catastrophe.”
My dad shook his head slowly and reached out to put his big hands on my shoulders. “He was planning on getting engaged, but he’s not anymore…”