“I knew them really well,” I murmured. “The Undingers.”
Billy’s eyes widened as we finally needled into the auditorium and found a couple of seats near the back. “What? You did? But you hate Colin.”
“I didn’t, at one time.” I wasn’t sure why the story was coming out all of a sudden. It was this horrible, blood-sucking leech on my chest that I was desperate to pull off, even if it took a gallon of my blood with it. “I was in love with him.”
Billy’s eyes widened. “Shut up. Are you serious? You guys are awful to each other.”
“Our parents had been best friends since high school, so when they had kids, they just sort of forced them together. Damn near every day, for 12 years, I spent my days with Colin. He was my best friend, my first kiss, and my first heartbreak.” My hands started to shake as I realized I’d never said it out loud before. I’d written it down, I’d thought it to myself, over and over, but the words had never crossed my lips.
“God, I don’t know if this,” he motioned to the school’s makeshift memorial of two portraits and a few bouquets of flowers, “or this,” he motioned to me, “is more shocking.”
I sniffed in, trying to keep myself from trudging into an all-out sob. I didn’t like showing emotions. “They were like parents to me too, but I didn’t speak to them once in the last five years. All because their son is an asshole. I wouldn’t even go to their restaurant.” Billy put his arm around my back and I dipped my head in, placing it on the back of the seat in front of me. “Helena’s three cheese penne was like my favorite food in the world. Every time I came into the restaurant, she would make me this huge batch, enough to eat and to take home. I think it was so good to me because she made it.”
My throat burned and chest tightened and nose ran. I was a single person running around trying to block up all the holes letting emotions flood in, and I wasn’t doing a very good job. “You should talk to one of the counselors,” Billy suggested.
I shook my head. “I don’t want to talk to anyone. I just want to go home.”
I didn’t say anything else through the presentation our principal gave to the school honoring the Undingers. I only barely heard that Colin would be taking the day off, but that students were encouraged to reach out to him with well wishes, before I shoved my headphones in my ear, curled up against Billy and checked out. He tapped me on my shoulder once the service had ended to let me know that the teachers were all headed back to their classrooms for students who needed it. I thanked him for comforting me, asked him not to share my story, not that he had anyone to share it with, and beelined for Val’s classroom.
It wasn’t surprising to see that there was a small group of students gathered inside, sitting in the front row of desks, listening while Val talked them through their grief. He didn’t have a skill set for it, but Val’s tongue was one of his gifts, in more ways than one. He could talk the devil into buying a barbecue.
When I walked in, he noticed me immediately, putting on a sad, half-smile. “Miss Marquette.”
“Um… Can I talk to you?”
“Of course.” He looked at the other students. “Sorry, this is the pre-arranged appointment I told you all about. Give us fifteen minutes and you’re welcome back.”
Leave it up to Val to have prepared an out just in case I came by. If I were walking a stronger stride I might be annoyed that I was being so predictable, but really I just wanted some comfort, and a free pass to go home.
The students filed out, each of them shooting me varying glares of dissatisfaction.
“I know, you all hate me. That bit is old,” I snapped as they passed, causing one girl to jump.
“Tatiana,” Val warned.
I stepped off to the side and let the students pass and then I shut and locked the door. Val walked over to me and wrapped an arm around my back. He ducked down to kiss me, but I turned my head, not feeling very affectionate at the moment. He grabbed my chin and corrected it, lining my lips up to his. I sighed as he did so, not wanting to argue, and returned the kiss.
I pulled away sooner than I might have in any other situation, looking up at Val through sad eyes. “I gotta get out of here. I can’t take all this…” I was flailing my arms, hoping to find purchase on any single word to accurately describe my influx of emotions. “…this.”
“Go home. I’ll take care of it.” Val pet my head as he said so and I was hoping that was what he would say. “I’ll text you later.”
I nodded. “Okay.”
I turned to walk out, but Val grabbed my hand and turned me to face him. He stared down at me through pointed gray eyes. “I wanted to tell you this yesterday, but it never came up.” He brought my hand to his mouth and placed a peck on the back. “I love you.” I didn’t know what to do or say or do. I’d honestly never considered love when I thought of Val. I’d never considered it when I thought of anyone, I’d really written off the whole concept after Colin. “You don’t have to say anything now, I know you’re hurting. I just thought it might help to know how I feel. A little light in the darkness.”
“Y-yeah.” The speed I used to get away from Val felt like it might leave a me-shaped hole in his classroom door with a cartoonish ‘pew’ humming in my wake.
All the students and teachers were too distracted to notice me as I raced for the door, but I turned the final corner and came face to face with an unfair obstacle; Harlie standing behind a gray table with a cash box in front of her, and a piece of white poster board reading ‘Honorary Undinger Recovery Fund.’
I wished I was wearing a hoodie. There was a reason I wore clothes I could hide in, there was nothing to pull over my head and hide me from Harlie’s evil stare. I tried to just slink past her, but I might have known that it wouldn’t be that easy.
“And where do you think you’re going?” I sighed and turned to face her and her arms were crossed in front of her. “We’re supposed to stay on campus.”
“I have permission, not that I owe you an explanation of any kind.” I tried to continue on, but Harlie walked around the table and stood between me and the front door. “God, I really don’t want to hit you on a day like today.”
“Maybe you’d be interested in investing in the recovery fund?” There was an hissing insinuation to her voice that, if I didn’t, she’d squeal. “One bouquet is only $20.”
“I don’t have any money.” Once more, I tried to push around her, but she stepped to the side, keeping herself in my path.
She put her hands on her hips. “Really? You always have plenty during lunch.”
“Good to know you study me,” I replied.
“Please, I couldn’t begin to have the time. I always have to get Colin’s attention.”
The thought knocked me off center. “What?”
“He hates you so much that he just sits there staring at you. It’s sad. He told me you two used to be good friends. How could you turn into such an evil person towards him, someone who cared about you? His parents would probably be pretty disappointed.”
I pictured myself throttling her until she blacked out, but I didn’t want to make anymore trouble on a day already overflowing with trouble. “Keep your fucking mouth shut. You have no idea what you’re talking about.” I shoved her aside and started for the door.