My curious eyes flitted over toward him again. His head was down, listening intently to his brother. They looked deep in conversation, but as if he’d felt me watching him, James glanced over toward us and flashed a smile toward us. Turning to Sawyer, he muttered something to him before he rose to his feet. Seconds later he sidled up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.
“Are you missing me?” he whispered into my ear. Billie smirked knowingly.
“See?” she teased. “Can’t keep his hands off you,” she joked.
“She’s right, I can’t,” he mumbled low and rumbly against my cheek, as his arms tightened around my front. “Come sit on my lap, I have something I want to show you,” he teased wickedly, wagging his brows. Both Billie and I cracked up laughing at the inference until his gorgeous eyes widened in shock. “Ladies. Really? Get those minds out of the gutter and get your fine asses over onto that couch.” Nodding toward Billie he shook his head. “You’re a married woman, Billie Wild. Does your husband know how your mind works?”
“She’s full of debauchery that one, mind like a sewer after a few glasses of wine,” Sawyer chipped in, laughing.
“Sawyer, that’s a lie,” Billie choked out, as her cheeks turned pink. I knew she felt embarrassed by the way she grabbed a dish towel and began folding it. That or she had needed something to keep her hands from throttling either her husband or James.
“That’s not how it had sounded when you were lying beneath me last night,” Sawyer continued, his bright eyes dancing playfully toward his wife.
“Right, stop … just stop.” Billie glared, flushed red, and looked mortified. Both James and I chuckled at the same time at her open-jawed expression as she thought what to say next. It was obvious to us that Sawyer had called her on something private and he was sharing a secret joke with her, but letting us know Billie wasn’t as pure minded as she’d have liked us to believe.
Sawyer came to her rescue by talking about organizing a family trip to Vermont. James had thought it a great idea, but I felt nervous about spending time with their family. Although we’d lived together, I still hadn’t been formally acknowledged by James to his family as his long-term partner, because during my therapy I hadn’t felt I could face anything else.
I’d met Ronnie and Harriett, James’ parents, on several occasions, mainly around Sawyer and Billie’s wedding, but I hadn’t been introduced as his significant other. Sawyer’s suggestion made me realize how neglectful of James’ needs I had become, having been too distracted with therapy. I also wondered if James had thought me too delicate to introduce me to anyone when he hadn’t pushed for this to happen.
“What do you say, Tricia? Are you up for this? It won’t be until all the kids are on school vacation, there’s a lot to plan with the number of people, jobs, and whatnot involved,” James probed.
“Are you?” I asked hesitantly, because the last thing on my mind was a vacation, and facing all the questions that would come if and when they knew about Erin.
“There will come a time soon when I’ll have to stop hogging you to myself and let my family see for themselves this fabulous woman who commands all of my time.”
“Hmm, is that what I did?”
“Baby, you can command anything of me, and I’d do my best to accommodate you, but my family should learn how amazing you are for themselves.”
What the hell will they think when they learn about Erin and my sordid past? I frowned, worried they’d be judgemental.
“What?” James’ eyes grew dark, as a crease knitted his brow.
“I … I don’t know … I mean, I’m tired of secrets,” I mumbled.
“Secrets?” He frowned, then as if a penny had dropped his eyes grew wide. “You mean Erin?” He shrugged. “There’s nothing to hide. You have a grown-up daughter.”
“No, I have an adult daughter I know little about because she went up for adoption when I was a sixteen-year-old girl, but we’ve recently been reunited … today.”
“Our parents aren’t the judgmental type,” Sawyer interjected. “All they’ll care about is you two are good together and you make my brother happy,” he added, his eyes darting between all of us.
“It’s true, Tricia. Look how their family accepted me. You have a head start, you’re both the same age,” she said, wagging her finger between James and me. “I was claiming their baby boy. Me, a divorcee, eleven years older. I’ve walked in your shoes, Tricia, and believe me they showed me more compassion in that first meeting than I could ever have dreamed of.”
“You’d also have your family there, so you won’t be on your own,” James prompted.
“My family?” I almost shrieked. “I’m not vacationing with my mother. I’d never get a minute’s rest.” I replied. knew I sounded obstructive when they had been trying to do something nice, but trying to take on all those new relationships was something I just couldn’t face.
James immediately calmed me by sliding his hands in mine. He held them firmly and looked into my eyes. “No one said you have to.” He sighed and turned toward his brother.
“Maybe this isn’t the best time to discuss this, Sawyer,” James decided. “We still have a while before then, and we can still give people plenty of notice. Tricia has a few more minefields to negotiate in her near future. Include us in the numbers, and don’t tell the others we’re confirmed. Tricia still needs some breathing space,” James concluded, taking charge of the conversation.
Sawyer nodded slowly like he’d considered what his brother had said. “You’re right, there’s plenty of time, just let me know what you decide.”
When Sawyer wasn’t insistent, I felt relieved.
A vacation would have been wonderful, there was no way I had felt ready to stand in judgment before his family. Before that could happen, I had to sort out in my mind, how and when to approach my family about Erin. My stomach ached as I contemplated how to do that, and once again my mind felt swamped in a mixture of mortification, guilt, and dread about dredging up my past.
Chapter Five
Two weeks later, I came home from an early breakfast with Erin—our third meeting, and found James waiting for me with two suitcases and my vanity case piled just inside his apartment door.
“Do you have to go somewhere?” I asked, wondering if there had been some sudden crisis at his work that had required him to go away. I eyed my vanity case again and felt more confused.
“We’re going somewhere,” he corrected. “I’m taking you away for a few days.” His tone was unusually demanding and when I opened my mouth to protest, he stepped closer and closed my mouth by gently tipping his index finger under my chin. He frowned and shook his head. “Don’t argue. We need time together. You’ve had so much going on in that pretty head of yours, I think you need time to recuperate… and I need you to myself for a while.”
My chest tightened at his confession and my heart swelled because despite everything, he had been there for me. “Where are we going?”