But if there was any truth to Tod’s claims, I needed to know.
I dashed through the rain to the front door and knocked. I expected a butler to answer, but instead, Evie opened the door. She wore a tired frown, but she mustered up a smile when she saw me. It was missing her customary dimples. That wasn’t surprising given her grandfather’s sudden death. Even though Lord Byrd had been fairly terrible to his grandchildren, it had to be hard. Regrets often accompany grief as much as sadness. Something told me that the Byrds had a lot of regrets.
Without a thought, I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around her. I was here for answers, but I couldn’t ignore her pain. Evie hugged me back awkwardly as if she was out or practice with open displays of affection.
“How are you?” I asked.
“Superfluous,” she said flatly. “I’m just trying to stay out of everyone’s way. Mother hasn’t stopped drinking. I think it’s her new profession. Spencer’s been in with the family lawyers for hours. I’m sure he’ll be glad for the interruption.”
“Actually.” I bit my lower lip, gathering the courage to plunge forward. “I need to talk to Holden.”
Evie’s head tilted and she studied me for a moment with a puzzled expression. “I think he’s in the Billiards room. I’ll show you.”
Of course, he was. His grandfather had just died. Why wouldn’t he be enjoying himself? I wondered briefly if he’d tried to be supportive or if he’d just found a quiet place to hide. Evie filled me in on the details of what had happened while we walked. After Spencer had returned to me in Yorkshire, their grandfather had seemed completely fine. But when he didn’t show for his morning breakfast, a maid found him in his room. He had died peacefully in his sleep. Given how he’d treated his family in life, it felt like too good an ending for him. I kept that thought to myself, but I heard the relief in Evie’s voice as she told me.
I wondered how Spencer felt. I wondered how Holden felt.
“Holden comes here when he’s avoiding the family,” she explained as she led me to a heavy oak door. “If I had to guess where he disappeared to…”
The crack of balls bouncing from an opening shot was the first clue we were on the right track. We paused outside the door, and I took a deep breath.
“Do you mind if I have a minute with him?” I asked.
Evie’s face fell, and I felt terrible. She’d been dismissed by the rest of the family. Now I was doing the same thing to her. “I’ll just be a minute,” I promised her. “Then maybe we can go grab a bite to eat.”
“That’s okay. I think I’m going to bed.” She forced a polite smile and gave me a hug goodbye. This one was slightly less awkward than the first. I made a mental note that Evie might need to experience affection on her own terms. But in truth, I was relieved that she didn’t want to hang out. Still, if everyone else was going to ignore her, I would have pushed all this drama aside to see she wasn’t alone. Despite her brave face, her shoulders slumped as she started down the hall. She got a few steps before she turned. “Is everything okay with you and Spencer?”
“Yes,” I said a bit too quickly, my hand already reaching toward the door. “Everything’s fine. Why?”
Her eyes strayed to the door to the Billiards Room. “I just...be careful, Kerrigan.”
“I will,” I promised, wondering if others had picked up on the tension between me and Holden. Spencer had, but my fake fiancé had fanned the flames of that tension intentionally. Did Evie see it as well? Part of me worried that I was about to make things worse. Evie’s warning lingered in my mind as I knocked softly on the door. I didn’t wait for a response before I opened it and stepped inside.
A half-empty bottle of Scotch sat on the edge of the pool table, no glass in sight. Holden looked up for a moment before returning to his shot. His cue slid confidently between his fingers and sent the six ball into the back pocket. He dropped the pool cue on the table and reached for the bottle. Taking a big swig, he held it out to me. I guessed that explained the lack of glasses.
I shook my head. “I’m driving.”
His eyes narrowed at my words and I regretted telling him. In the dim lighting, there was no hint of blue in his dark gaze. “I thought I told you not to do that.”
Something inside snapped. “This may come as a surprise, but I don’t do what you tell me.”
I’d made the mistake of admitting that I had panic attacks to Holden along with revealing a few more choice secrets. He’d been pissed with me for driving in Yorkshire after one of my attacks.
He snorted as he abandoned the bottle and picked his cue back up. “Tell me about it. You never have.”
“What does that mean?” I demanded. It wasn’t the first time he’d dropped a cryptic comment. I’d tried to ignore them before because I thought he was trying to rile me up. Now I wondered if there was more to these comments than I’d previously thought.
“Nothing,” he muttered. “Come to soothe poor Spencer’s sorrow?”
Of course, that’s why he thought I was here. It was the most reasonable explanation, after all. Hadn’t I offered to be by Spencer’s side earlier? Wasn’t that my place? It was clear Holden believed that as much as he resented it.
“I came to see you,” I admitted.
Holden paused, his body poised over the table. Then took his shot. The ball clipped the edge of the pocket and rolled across the table.
“Fuck,” he said with a grunt. “Well, dirty girl, if we aren’t drinking, what did you come for?”
I swallowed. He wasn’t going to make this easy. I’d expected that, but now that I was here, I wasn’t certain I could ask him about Tod’s claims. But why? Holden had the power to dismiss Tod’s lies outright. He could prove that Tod was ruthlessly acting in his own interest. He could set me free. More importantly, he could assure me that I wasn’t crazy.
“It’s about Kerrigan,” I began. Suddenly, I didn’t know where to start.
Holden arched an eyebrow. “What about her?”
“It’s just…” I searched for the right words. He already knew about the arrangement. This should be easy, but it was anything but. “I found some of her things in Tod’s office a few weeks ago and then tonight, I found a file, and he wants me to see a doctor, and I’m not crazy, but—”
“Whoa, slow down,” Holden stopped me. “You’re going a little fast.”
“Sorry.” I sighed and walked over to a club chair in the corner. I sank into its rich brown leather, my fingers clutching its arms. “So much has happened.”
“Go back to his office. You said you found something?”
“Yes, Kerrigan’s computer.”
Holden fell silent, remaining in the shadows. The moment stretched between us for so long that I opened my mouth to ask him what was wrong. Before I could, he crossed to the chair next to mine and took it.
“What else?” he asked gently.
“A folder.” My voice trembled, and he reached a handout. Placing it on my knee, he waited. “There were photos and bank statements. He’s been tracking Kerrigan. I just don’t understand why.”