“And you’re admitting that?”
She used to eat heartily. I didn’t like the idea of her not getting the proper nutrition. She’d always been thin, and she still was. But why didn’t she eat?
“It’s the sugar. And the grease.” She looked down at her mostly empty plate. She’d demolished the blueberry pancakes. Actually, it was more like she’d had syrup with a side of pancakes.
“Do they not have good food like this in London?” I pushed my plate away.
“I try to take care of myself.” She wiped her mouth with her napkin. “And I know me well enough to realize if I have all the things I’m not supposed to, I can’t stop.”
Somehow I felt like that applied to me too.
But I didn’t mind. Maybe that meant she wouldn’t be able to let me go.
“I doubt you wanted my thoughts about proper nutrition.” I had plenty of opinions on that, but was sure she didn’t want to hear them.
“There are only days until the wedding.”
I had the sudden urge to turn over this table and thrash the entire restaurant.
She’s your wife.
That eased my temper a fraction. Legally, she was, but that wasn’t enough.
“What’s smarter?” She continued as if a war weren’t taking place in my head. “To keep behaving normally? Or to take charge?”
“Is ignoring your father’s phone calls normal?” I inclined my head toward the device, which lit up again.
I couldn’t imagine Ma calling me like that under any circumstance unless it was a dire emergency. What did her father do to her? What kind of power did he have over her?
“Not really.” Her shoulders slumped.
I couldn’t stand that anyone had the ability to diminish her fire.
“What’s the end game here?” I was playing blind but had no doubt I was definitely a player.
“Freedom.”
The word was spoken so softly, I almost didn’t hear it. I reached for her hand. My instinct had always been to protect her. Always. And now, it had just ramped up another notch.
I’d had one conversation with her father and understood her fear. Power radiated from him. But I intended to have another one with him and soon. What he’d allowed to happen to Beau—to my wife—was unacceptable.
Gently, I squeezed her uninjured fingers. “It’s yours. Take it.”
“It’s not that simple,” she whispered. “I have to be smart. He’s always five steps ahead.”
Had she lived with this fear all her life? As I dug through memories from long ago, I realized that yes, she had been scared of him back then too.
She was mine now. Even if it was only temporary. And I’d protect her with everything I had.
“Stop playing his game.”
She gaped at me.
“You don’t understand—”
“You’re the bravest, strongest person I’ve ever met. And I know he terrifies you. I understand that he’s more than willing to give you away to a wife beater. I understand that ain’t normal.” I pointed to her phone, which was lit again with his name. “I think I’ve got a pretty firm grasp of what’s going on here.”
She drew in a long breath. When her eyes met mine, they were so haunted it sent a chill racing down my spine. “You have no idea.” She spoke so quietly, I wasn’t sure if she didn’t want me to hear or was afraid he would, wherever he was.
And then it was like she’d been jolted. She waved our server down and shoved cash in her palm before grabbing her phone and sliding out of the booth.
“Did you just pay for our wedding breakfast?” I asked as I trailed her out of the diner.
“Who cares,” she said over her shoulder.
I held open the door—barely, since she’d shoved it wide before I could get there.
“You don’t have to be a gentleman,” she said as I unlocked her side of the truck. That door, I did hold.
“My ma would kill me if I didn’t.” Damn. She was going to be heartbroken I’d gotten married without her being there. Without her knowing.
Beau furrowed her brow. “What’s wrong?”
“I just realized Ma’s going to be upset I got married without her.” She needed any kind of joy she could find. And she’d been after me to bring a nice girl home. She’d love Beau.
She touched my chest. “We could do it again, if you want. A family ceremony?”
“You’d marry me again?” I asked incredulously. The first time had seemed hard enough on her.
“We’re going to have to stay this way for . . . a while.” She looked at me almost apologetically.
I hated that.
I wasn’t sorry we were married. The longer she was my wife, the more used to it I became. Sorry wouldn’t even begin to cover what I’d feel when I had to let her go.
I nodded. Words lodged in my throat as I took her in. We’d been up all night, but she was still the most beautiful thing that had ever walked this earth.
And she was my wife.
That knowledge gave me little comfort, though part of me held on to it with an iron grip. It was temporary. She hadn’t married me because she couldn’t live without me. I was her only option. That stung. But I wouldn’t get mixed up in my feelings.
Beau needed my help.
I could do that.
All I’d ever done was make sure she had what was best for her.
“Where to? Lincoln’s to get your things?” I asked as I got into the driver’s seat.
“Take me to the office,” she said when I cranked the engine. “I have to go to my father’s, and I don’t want to put you in a more precarious position than I already have.”
I froze with my hand on the gear shift. “You aren’t going anywhere near him.”
She whipped her head toward me. “He’s forced me to stay there—”
“Define forced.”
“He sent his butler to Lincoln’s apartment to collect my belongings and escort me out.”
Anger started as a vigorous tingle beneath my skin. “And you didn’t want to go?” I asked carefully, just to make sure I heard right.
“No.”
That tingle rattled into a violent shake.
“If you think I’m taking you back to him, think again,” I growled.
She belonged to me now. I didn’t want to control her. But it was my duty to protect her.
“All of my things are there.”
“Leave them. You can always get new stuff.”
She fidgeted with the gold chain as if weighing her options.
“Or if you really want your things, I’ll go get them.”
Her eyes flared. “No. We have to be smart, Cal.”
“You already said that.” My hand was still wrapped tight around the gear shift as a war raged inside of me. That visit to her father had just bumped itself up the list another few spots . . . to the top.
She rolled the chain between her thumb and index finger. Then she dropped her chin to her chest. “I don’t know what to do. I’ve created such a mess.”
I reached for her hand and took her soft fingers in mine. Somehow, she’d always had the power to soothe me with her touch. I was supposed to be a balm to her, but she had turned my fury down to a simmer by letting me hold her hand.