Shit. I need to hurry.
I run to the left toward my door and kick it shut. I’m shucking off my clothes and leaving them strung across the floor as I make my way to the bathroom. I kick off my boots. One hits the wall while the other tumbles to the right. Quickly, I unfasten my jeans and toss them somewhere too.
I turn the silver handle to the shower and don’t bother waiting for it to warm up. I jump in, my breath catching as the cold water shocks my system for a split second. It fades fast as the water warms. I usually like to stand here for a minute under the hot spray, but there’s no time to relax.
“Shit,” I curse when I squeeze too much body wash on my loofah. It’s dripping everywhere. What a waste. I wash fast, my entire body lost in fluffy white foam. I use the excess soap for my hair and trimmed beard, scrubbing everywhere and concentrating under my arms since I’ve been working all day.
I rinse and step out, shutting off the water. I dry off with the towel and wrap it around my waist. The mirror in the bathroom isn’t even fogged up and I’m left looking at my hideous face in the mirror. I turn away, not wanting to see the ruined skin and empty socket. It’s disgusting.
No wonder Alicia didn’t want to be with me anymore. Who wants to fuck a monster like me? Who can stare at a face like this and not be repulsed?
I slam the drawer to my dresser shut and yank on my shirt. The towel drops to the floor, and I slip on a pair of briefs before putting on my jeans.
Next is deodorant and cologne, just a small spritz from an old bottle I never really wear. The very last thing before I tie my boots is slipping on my cut. With one last look in the mirror, I head out the door, sliding my fingers through my hair to push it back, then tug my eyepatch on.
I hear a car door slam and I casually powerwalk through the breezeway. I stop just when I get to the end, seeing Alicia and Kimmy walking toward me. I’m living a dream, only my dream ends with Alicia in my arms.
Alicia looks so fucking good. Her hair is shining in the sun and if I’m not mistaken, it looks a little lighter than it did before. Her green eyes hold a powerful punch as our gazes meet. She never fails to knock the breath out of my lungs.
“One-Eye!” Kimmy screams at the top of her lungs as she lets go of her mama’s hand. Her red hair is a wreck as her ponytail barely holds onto dear life.
“There’s my best girl.” I walk three strides to meet her, and her breath knocks out from her tiny body as she crashes against me.
I hold onto her tight, burying my nose into her hair as I clutch onto her. I’m able to keep my emotions together, barely, but nearly lose it when Kimmy leans away, staring up at me with watery eyes.
“I missed you. I didn’t think you wanted to see me.”
“I always want to see you. Always. Never doubt that.” I pick her up, not wanting to be away from her just yet, and head to Alicia. Boomer and Scarlett are watching the exchange because everyone is damn nosy.
“Quin,” her velvet voice wraps my heart in a warm blanket, the kind fresh out of the dryer. Nothing is better than something out of the dryer to cloak yourself in. It feels so fucking good and that’s how she always makes me feel.
“Mama,” I reply with her nickname. She doesn’t like it, but when I first saw her standing in the skating rink, the moonlight shining down on her, she was my sexy little Hot Mama. “You look… you look beautiful.”
Her cheeks blush, turning the faintest hint of red. I know from experience that color drifts down her neck and to her breasts.
I miss how she feels beneath me. So fucking much. Alicia molded to my body, to my cock, to everything.
“You do too, but handsome,” she says shyly, tucking her hair behind her ear.
It takes everything I have not to yank her to me and kiss her senseless, but I respect her space and hold onto our daughter instead.
Yeah, our.
Because no matter what happens between us, Kimmy is mine.
“Here,” she says on an awkward laugh, holding a bag in the air. “I packed some of her things. She can leave them here. I have a feeling you two will be seeing a lot more of each other.”
“Yay!” Kimmy sings, wrapping her arms around my neck in a hug as she rests her head against my shoulders.
“I sure hope so. I can’t go that long without seeing you two ever again,” I say, keeping my eyes locked on Alicia’s. “Maybe we can meet for coffee and talk about a schedule? No pressure.” I place Kimmy down. “Squirt, why don’t you go hang with Scarlett for a minute? I need some time to talk to your mama.”
She nods eagerly and rushes over to Scarlett, who immediately has a big smile on her face, happy to be hanging out with a child. We don’t have any around here, and I know she and Boomer have been trying for a baby.
“Alicia, I know it isn’t a good time, but I need you to know, I love the both of you so much. I’m not saying that to rush you, I’m saying it because I want you to know I want to be her dad, with or without you. I’ll pay child support. I want to be her legal guardian. I don’t know how we can make that happen, but I really want it to happen, Alicia. Please.”
Her brows raise in surprise. “I’m not bringing her here to get your money, One-Eye. That’s not what this is, I don’t want you to think that’s what I’m trying to do.”
“I know. I’m offering. I’m offering because I care.”
“We can meet to talk about it. I’m open to it. She loves you so much and I know it would mean the world to her to have a guy like you as her dad. But can I ask, why wait until now? You had months to ask. We haven’t talked—”
“—I know. I didn’t think I was allowed to see her. I only wanted to give you the space you asked for.”
“She can’t be disappointed again, Quin. I can’t stand crushing her heart and seeing her so sad. She’s been so angry the last few months. She punched a kid in the face. I don’t even know where she learned to punch.”
She learned from me, but I’m not going to throw myself under the bus like that. No fucking way. I might not be the smartest man in the world, but I know when not to dig a grave for myself.
Alicia sighs. “Let’s see how this weekend goes and if it goes well, we will talk, okay? But I need updates too. I have to make sure she’s okay. I’ve never been away from her like this.”
“I know.” I get my wallet out and fish out five one-hundred-dollar bills. “I don’t know how much child support is, but this should help, right? I’ve missed a few payments,” I say with a joking grin.
“I’m not taking that! I’m not taking your money. Five hundred… no, Quin. Just… no.”
“Please.” I take her hand, my body shivering at the feel of her soft palm. “I’m serious, Alicia. If we can’t ever be together, I want to know she’s taken care of and you are too. Okay?”
“Quin,” my name hitches in her chest. “You’re a good man.”
Then, let me be your man.
It’s what I want to say, but I can’t.
“She needs new clothes, and I haven’t been able to go shopping, the new job—”
“You don’t have to explain yourself. You can go treat yourself to a massage or whatever with that money, I don’t care. I just want you two taken care of.”