“Probably, but don’t think that’s going to get you out of giving me details.”
I stood from the bed and stretched, and it was at that moment that I realized I was wearing nothing but Carson’s sweatshirt and my panties.
My gaze jerked to Josie, and she grinned. “You had your pants off before Carson even left the room, but he walked out before you removed the rest.”
“Oh my God.” I pressed my hand to my face. “Who put the sweatshirt back on me?”
“That was me because you demanded it. Apparently, you wanted to go to sleep smelling like Carson.”
By the look on her face, I knew that it was as embarrassing as it sounded. “I’m never going to show my face again. This is it. I have to move.”
“Don’t be so dramatic.” She waved me off like embarrassing myself in front of Carson wasn’t my idea of a personal hell. “Plus, he’s still here. The boys and Frankie are swimming in the pool, so you’re going to have to face him before you can even get home to pack your things.”
“Fuck.” I didn’t want to face him. I didn’t want him to look at me and remember me on my knees in front of him like I had never been so desperate for something in all my life. “I cannot face him today.”
“Yes. You can.” She climbed from her bed and moved to her dresser. She threw a hot pink bikini onto the bed, then pointed at me. “Go put your ass in that right now and clean your face. Once you’re put together, we will go out there, and we will pretend like last night was so unmemorable that you haven’t even thought about it once.”
“We both know that’s a lie.”
“That doesn’t matter.” She pulled her own bathing suit out and stared at me. “We won’t let him see that. You can be whoever you want to be, Allie, and that includes with men. If you don’t want Carson to think that you called out his name in your dream last night, then you make sure that he doesn’t.”
“That did not happen.”
“Oh, but it did.” She pointed to the bathroom for me to get a move on. “That’s why I’m so interested in the details of what happened on the beach because it sounded good.”
I grabbed the bathing suit from the bed and headed to the bathroom before she could tell me anything else about what I did last night that I would regret. “It’s not going to happen.”
“Don’t make me ask Carson!” she yelled after me, but I closed the door before answering her back.
I changed into the bathing suit before piling my hair onto the top of my head and washing my face. I grabbed my toothbrush from Josie’s toothbrush holder, and I stared at myself in the mirror.
I looked far too eager and too happy to know that Carson was still here. I needed to rein myself in. He freaking hurt me, and here I stood looking like the love of my life was outside waiting on me.
Get your shit together, Allie.
I finished brushing my teeth and pushed out of the bathroom. Josie was sitting on the end of the bed with a smile on her face, and I rolled my eyes as I passed by her and grabbed the towel she was holding out to me.
I didn’t stop or hesitate as I snatched a pair of Josie’s sunglasses and pushed my way out the door. There was no way that I was going to let him know how affected I was by him. I refused to allow him to think that he had somehow managed to get under my skin.
It didn’t matter if he actually had.
It was inconsequential that it was where he lived.
He didn’t need to know that.
As soon as the sun hit my skin, I felt his eyes on me. I didn’t look in his direction as I walked over to the lounge chair and straightened my towel out. It didn’t matter, though. I could pretend all I wanted, and I could act as unfazed as I would never feel, but he would still have such an effect on me.
I turned in his direction and sat down on the end of the lounger just as Josie sat down next to me.
“Are you coming in?” Frankie asked before swimming to the edge of the pool right in front of us.
“Yeah. We’re coming.”
“How did you sleep?” She shielded her eyes from the sun and stared straight up at me.
“Like a rock.”
Josie snorted, and I kicked my foot against hers.
“You should have since you were in my spot.” Beck pouted from where he swam. “I can’t believe you made me go back to my room last night.”
“You’re fine.” Josie rolled her eyes and stood. She jumped into the pool right next to Beck, and he laughed as she swam to the surface and immediately wrapped her arms around his neck.
I could still feel Carson watching me, and I finally looked over to meet his gaze. He was more than watching me. He was staring at me with a look so intense that I had no idea what it meant. I wasn’t sure if it was hate or lust or some mixture of things I couldn’t put my finger on.
But I was so fucking mesmerized by that stare that I didn’t even realize that Frankie was still talking to me.
“Allie?”
“Huh?” I pulled my gaze away from him and looked down at my friend.
She cocked her head and looked at me with a smile on her face. “I was just saying that we were going to order pizza for lunch. Are you cool with that?”
“Oh, yeah. Of course.” I stood and walked to the opposite end of the pool, as far from Carson as I could possibly get, and walked into the warm water. It was cool outside, typically too cool to be swimming when you were sane, but the Clermonts left their pool open year-round because that kind of money meant heated pools and all sorts of other luxuries.
I sank down into the water until it teased the tops of my shoulders and sagged into the warmth.
“How are you feeling today?” Olly cocked his head and grinned at me.
“I have a bit of a headache, but I’m fine.”
“That’s good.” He glanced over his shoulder to where Carson was swimming in our direction, and I tried to hide the way my body tensed. “I figured you’d be a little worse for wear after the amount of alcohol you consumed.”
“I probably should feel worse.” I messed with my hair and tried to look anywhere but at Carson. He was only a handful of feet away from me now.
“I made her take a few Tylenols and chug some water before she went to sleep last night.” His gruff voice sent shivers down my spine, and as soon as he said the words, memories of last night flashed before my eyes.
He had done as he said even though I didn’t want to do either. All I had wanted was him. I had practically begged him to stay and sleep in Josie’s bed with me.
But he had refused.
“Thank you for that.” I forced out the words and ran my fingers through the water. “I don’t think I was thinking very clearly last night.”
He grinned like he knew better, and so did I. I may have been drinking, but I didn’t ask Carson for anything last night that I hadn’t wanted. I wanted it then and I would still want it now. The only difference was that the alcohol had made me braver. It had taken away my self-preservation and only focused on the part of me that still looked at Carson like he was the best thing to ever happen to me.
I was an idiot.
“You’re welcome.” He moved even closer to me in the water, and my stomach tightened. I wondered if he was thinking about what had happened between us last night. I obsessed over the thoughts of him in my mouth while I got myself off with my hand.