It helps when Colin’s words make me feel ugly.
“Get away from me.” I hope my words sound stronger than I feel.
I reach out to shove him away, and he captures my wrist, making me whimper. “You do not talk to me like that.”
I try to jerk away, but he only holds on tighter. “You better make him wrap it up before you let him fuck you. I’m not raising any little bastards.”
“We aren’t doing that,” I try to defend myself, although I have no idea why.
“Please, guys like Lawson Davis don’t wait around. He probably has several kids by now.”
“He does not.” I know he’s a virgin too, but there’s no way I’m saying that. Colin would just say he’s lying.
“You’re a toy for him. The rich girl type, slumming it with the bad boy.”
I finally jerk away from him, but his body keeps me caged in against the wall next to the door. “That’s not what this is.”
He rolls his eyes coldly at me. “You’re such a child.” His eyes slide lecherously over my body, making me want to throw up. Or poke his eyes out.
I don’t want him looking at me. “A child you can’t seem to keep your creepy eyes or hands off.”
I flinch when his hand moves over my throat but not applying pressure before sliding down over my chest and then down my bare arm. “You act like a child, but you’re not one.”
“You’re disgusting.”
He seems to regain a semblance of composure and steps away from me. “You aren’t going.”
“Yes. I am.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Yes. I am.” My voice is louder, and I hear my mom’s heels clicking on the floor, noticing Colin take another step away from me now.
“What is going on?”
I put a hand on my hip, facing my mom, tattling, but I don’t care. “Colin said I can’t go to the dance, Mom.”
My mother purses her lips as she eyes me and then turns her attention to her husband, her eyes noticeably softening. “Why not, honey? It could give us some alone time.” She wraps her arms around his waist, and again, I feel like vomiting.
Colin’s eyes darken in my direction. “She looks like a hooker.”
My mother isn’t offended by what he says in the slightest. Instead, she giggles like a schoolgirl and slaps his chest playfully. “She does not. She looks pretty.” Her hand creeps up his chest, and then she palms his cheek. “If she goes to the dance, we’ll have the house all to ourselves.”
He doesn’t look at all intrigued. “I can’t. I’m the principal, and I have to go too.”
I clutch my stomach, feeling it roll. Hating that if I go, he’ll be there. Always unable to escape him. My mother pouts. “How about I go too? Then we can both keep an eye on her . . .” Her hand slides lower, reaching for his ass like I’m not here. “And maybe we can find some time to sneak away.”
He smiles down at her, but I can tell it’s forced. “Okay. Sounds like a plan, sweetness.”
My mom kisses him on the lips, and I see headlights pull up outside. “Lawson’s here. I’m going.”
“Home right after the dance,” my mother says, without looking away from her husband, but I can feel his eyes on me.
I don’t say anything and run out to Nash’s car in my heels, hoping I don’t bust my ass. I pull open the door and climb in, relieved to escape Colin until I see Lawson’s profile.
“Law . . .” I breathe out, and then he turns to face me, the shiner even more visible now. “What happened?”
He shrugs, his eye nearly swollen shut and purple. I watch his Adam’s apple bob in his throat and the shame wash over his handsome features. “My dad came home last night. He was looking for money.”
“So he hit you?”
He shrugs again, and I know he’s embarrassed. “I wouldn’t tell him where our stash is.”
“You have a stash?”
He nods. “Nash and me. We always keep money hidden from our parents. Something we learned to do a long time ago in case of an emergency.”
“I’m so sorry, Lawson.”
He looks pained, his eyes looking over me but not in a predatory way like Colin did, his way makes me feel safe and treasured. Beautiful. “You look pretty. I couldn’t let you down.”
“You didn’t.” He’s wearing black pants and a button-down shirt I had no idea he owned. His dark hair is tousled and perfect with his waves falling over his eyes. “You look pretty too.”
He laughs at that, and it’s good to see him light up, despite the swollen and bruised eye. “I’m so sorry, Rae. I wanted to give you a normal teenage night, but the Davis luck rears its ugly head yet again.”
The way he talks about his last name, it’s like he believes they’re cursed. And it breaks my heart. “I’m just happy you’re here. All I need is you.”
He looks surprised by my embarrassing admission, but I don’t care. I’m glad I said it. He takes my hand in his, intertwining our fingers. “I only need you too.” He puts the car into gear. “Let’s go get dinner, and then I’ll take you to that dance.”
I nod in agreement as we pull away from the house.
It doesn’t matter that my mother and Colin will be watching us at the dance. Or that he won’t be able to hold me as close as I want him to.
Because I still have him.
Junior Year
* * *
Today was the first day of school, and it sucked because I have no classes with Lawson and only one with Tammy. Part of me is suspicious, considering Colin is the principal. The other part of me says he doesn’t have anything to do with the schedules and I’m being paranoid.
Water splashes me in my face, pulling me from my thoughts as I splash Lawson back. He laughs, going under the water as Tammy and I sit on the edge of the pool in the backyard at my mom’s house.
Tanner pops up from under the water and splashes us again, both of us squealing and splashing the boys before they swim off to the other end. “Boys, I swear,” Tammy says as she wipes her face.
I laugh, “Maybe we should get in.”
She leans back on her elbows, her flesh protected by the beach towel we spread out under us. “And mess up our glorious tans?”
She’s really become my best friend over the years. How, after our rocky start, I have no idea, but I think she was lashing out from a not-so-stellar home life. It seems we all have that in common.
Even Tanner has a mom known in town as “the crazy one” since she’s had to be hospitalized a few times due to suicide attempts. Tammy’s dad left long ago, and her mother never remarried. But she does have four younger siblings she has to help with while her mom kills herself working late shifts at the local diner.
And Lawson . . . That black eye the night of the Spring Fling wasn’t the last bruise I saw on his body, although he admits to being able to hold his own more and more. No doubt from the time spent at the school gym.
It’s paid off in more ways than one. I try like hell not to ogle my boyfriend’s glistening, cut muscles as he swims through the clear water, but that would be next to impossible. His shoulders are broad, and I notice that even his back is ripped as he slides through the water. “Getting all hot and bothered there, Rae?”