Erika’s brow creased. “So what do we do while we wait for the test results? Stay in Bozeman? Follow you to Idaho?”
“You could come to Idaho, or you could head home and I’ll call you once we have the results.”
She looked uncertain. “You think I should drive all the way back to Southern California?”
“If you’re tired of being on the road. I like it. But I’m not the one traveling with a baby.” He spotted Tommy from the corner of his eye, coming up the stairs. He gave him a don’t-bother-us look, and Tommy continued on to the room they shared. “If the test says I’m Beck’s dad, I’ll come get him.”
“Before your next rodeo weekend?”
His gaze narrowed. “I don’t know if it’d be that soon. My schedule is pretty structured. I’d need to figure out logistics.”
“Kind of like me and my studies.”
She had a point and he shrugged. “Don’t go home then. Follow me to Boise. We’ll get you a motel room not far from the rodeo grounds. You and Beck can stay there while we sort out the rest.”
“And if he is your son? What will you do then?”
“Figure out how to manage a baby while living on the road.”
“You’re going to take him with you?” she asked incredulously. “From rodeo to rodeo?”
He heard her tone, but it didn’t bother him. The only thing that would bother him would be abandoning a child he’d made. And he wasn’t going to do that. But he also needed to compete. It was how he made money, and he could make amazing money, if he returned to the National Finals in Las Vegas next December, but to do that, he had to do well all year long. If he missed too many events, and failed to place in money at events, then he wouldn’t qualify. He couldn’t let that happen. “I’d probably have to hire a sitter. I’m sure I could find someone—”
“A stranger,” she interrupted.
“It’s a job. People do it all the time.”
“He needs to be with people he knows. He needs stability, security, consistency.”
“Then come with us. If I have to pay a sitter, I might as well pay you.”
Her jaw dropped. “Travel with you from rodeo to rodeo?”
“Lots of families do it. The rig is really a trailer, and it’s quite comfortable with a kitchen, bathroom, bedroom—”
“I’d never live in a trailer with you.”
“I could get you a motel room in each town. I wouldn’t put you somewhere too cheap. I’d want you and Beck safe.”
“While you’d stay in the rig, on your own,” she said.
He lifted a brow. “You want me to sleep in the motel with you every night instead?”
“No.”
“Then what? What are you objecting to?”
“Being on the road with an infant! Traveling from town to town for months on end.”
“That’s what I do, darlin’.”
“A rodeo cowboy.”
“That’s who I am.”
“Forever?”
“Certainly for as long as I can.”
“What about Beck?”
“What about him?”
“How are you going to manage it? Traveling, competing, taking care of a baby?”
“I can’t, not on my own. But with your help, I can make it work, and with my help, you can sock away some money and still earn your degree.”
When she said nothing, he added quietly, “We also don’t need to have this conversation until we have the test results back—”
“Everyone else in this family seems sure he’s yours.”
“Then once we have those results, you can leave him, and his bag, and his car seat with me, and you’ll be able to return to Riverside and your life there.”
Her head jerked up, her gaze locking with his. She looked worried, but something else. Scared. Sad.
Why sad?
And then he understood. She’d become attached to Beck. She didn’t want to just abandon Beck. He respected her for that. “You know, you aren’t responsible for him anymore. You have no legal obligation—”
“No legal obligation, but just a moral one. He’s a baby. He needs love. I’m not sure you know how to care for a baby—”
“Or give love?” he finished silkily.
He watched, fascinated, as pink washed through her cheeks.
“You obviously come from a close-knit family,” she stammered. “It’s clear you love your brothers, your mother, your grandfather, but you’ve had a lifetime to form that bond. You don’t have a bond with Beck yet, and babies require a lot of patience, tenderness, and self-sacrifice. I’d find it very hard to just leave Beck here and drive away and feel okay about it. I would worry about him all the time. I would worry that maybe,” she looked away, her voice cracking, “he’d be confused. I wouldn’t want him to miss me. Nor would I want him to ever think I just abandoned him.”
“Maybe we just slow down and take this step by step. First the test, and then the results. Let’s not think about anything beyond that. Just test. And then just the results. We can do that, can’t we?”
She nodded.
“Good.” He gave her a faint, wry smile. “So can I. Try to get some sleep. I think we both could use it tonight.”
Chapter Four
He was on the road, on the outskirts of Boise when the call came. He’d been warned that morning in Bozeman, that even with a rush fee, it could be twenty-four hours before the results came in but they’d do their best. The DNA results had come back sooner, and he was a 99 percent match. There was no question that he was Beck’s biological father.
Call over, Billy focused on the road, but his thoughts weren’t on the ribbon of black asphalt stretching before him. His thoughts were of Beck in Erika’s car, and how he wasn’t just a baby, but his.
It was that simple, and that difficult. He was a dad now, and he’d be a dad… forever.
Billy exhaled slowly, running a hand over his bristled jaw. That call changed everything, and emotions rolled through him, thoughts tangled.
He’d had a son for all these months and he didn’t know. Billy wondered if April was ever going to tell him. Had she planned on just surprising him one day, showing up at the rodeo with the baby, much like Erika had?
He wished he’d known what April had been thinking, wished he’d known she was pregnant. She should have told him. She should have reached out the moment she knew. No, they weren’t planning on seeing more of each other, but pregnancy was different. Pregnancy wasn’t about romance or sex, it was about life. Their child’s life. And maybe he’d been a little too blunt when he’d told her that he didn’t see a future for them, and that he thought maybe it was time they stepped back, focused on other people, but how else were you supposed to end things with someone? Ignore them? Ghost them? That wasn’t his style. Far better to be honest. Aboveboard. And he’d never been unkind. But he had let her know he was moving on, and he was asking her to move on, too. Leave him alone. Focus on her life. Which might just be why she didn’t tell him about the pregnancy. He hoped it was because she was confused, not spiteful. Because keeping his son from him wasn’t right. He would have wanted to know as soon as April suspected she was pregnant. He would have wanted to be part of Beck’s life from the beginning.