“What’s the distinction there? Tell me.”
“So, you know how he likes to date all these random women to go to his social events and stuff?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, he has three women on rotation that he’s currently dating and he wants me to get them gifts, as in, he asked me to buy them for him,” I said incredulously. “Can you believe that?”
“He did not ask you to buy his girlfriends’ Christmas presents. And hello, he has three girlfriends? Sarah, what are you doing with this guy? He’s such a pig.”
“I know he’s a pig, but it’s not like he’s my boyfriend. He’s my best friend. We’ve been best friends since we’ve been little.”
“I know. He’s just really lucky to have a friend like you, Sarah, because if he was my friend, he would be out the door.” Gemma’s tone showed her disapproval. She’d never really loved Harry. They got on like chalk and cheese, but I loved both of them equally and could not see my life without either of them. If she wasn’t now dating a hot guy of her own, I’d have thought maybe she and Harry had a thing for each other.
“Guess what?” I lowered my voice slightly, as I felt a little bit guilty. “Well... actually... so I’m doing something kind of funny.” I stumbled over my words as I wasn’t quite sure how to tell her of my devious plan.
“What do you mean you’re doing something kind of funny?”
“I was pissed that he asked me to get these presents, so I’m getting them gag gifts, only he doesn’t know they’re gag gifts and they’re not going to know they’re gags when he gives it to them.”
“Ooh, tell me more.”
“So, for one of the girls, I got her a double-sided dildo. And then for another one of the girls, I got two tickets to a swingers sex club.” I burst out laughing. “Oh my god. It’s going to be amazing.”
“Oh my god, Sarah, you are so evil. That’s awesome.”
“Yeah, Gemma, but I need your help. I can’t think of anything to give the third girl, and it can’t be the same thing because I want them all to be different.”
“That’s hard, pun intended. Let me think. So, no more sex toys, I’m guessing?”
“No, no more sex toys.”
“What about... oh man, I can’t think.”
“Gemma, please, I need your help so badly. I just don’t know what to get.”
Suddenly she squealed. “I have the best and most evil idea, Sarah.”
“What is it?”
“What do models and the sort of girls Harry dates absolutely hate?”
“I don’t know. Poor men?”
“Aside from poor men.”
“Bad food?”
“Aside from bad food.”
“I don’t know. Fake shit that they think is designer?”
“Aside from that.”
“I don’t know. What?”
“They hate people thinking they’re not the most beautiful and the most skinny girl in the world, right?”
“Yeah. I guess that’s true.” I laughed. “I don’t really have that problem.”
“Me either.” Gemma giggled. “Though we are both beautiful. We’re just girl-next-door beautiful, but anyway, why don’t you get one of the girls as a subscription to Weight Watchers?”
“Oh my god, Gemma, that’s absolutely hilarious and horrible. They’d absolutely hate that, wouldn’t they? They’ll think Harry is calling them fat, and there’s nothing a woman wants to hear less is that she’s fat. Oh my god, Gemma, I absolutely love you. Okay, I’m going to look for my closest Weight Watchers and see how I can get a gift subscription or something.”
“Yeah. Though, I think it might be an online subscription. If all else fails and you can’t find anything, why don’t you get some books?”
“What do you mean by some books?”
“You know, like some Weight Watchers books with recipes. That will do the trick just as well.”
“Gemma, that’s perfect. I’m right around the corner from a bookstore. I’m going to go and get the books now. Love you, girl.”
“Love you, too. Call me later, okay.”
“Will do. Bye.” We hung up and I giggled to myself.
I know I was being totally wicked, but I didn’t care. I hurried to the bookstore and purchased the books. I didn’t spend much time trying to decide which books to buy because I was starting to feel guilty about buying them. I didn’t want my conscience to talk me out of my decision before I bought the books. I had nothing against the women, I just needed to teach Harry a lesson. While I was in the bookstore, I also selected three cute Christmas cards with cute little animals. I was going to write three very special personalized messages from Harry, and I was pretty sure by the time these women received the messages, Harry would never ask me to do anything like this again.
Chapter 6
Sarah
I got home and put the bags with the gifts down and went to my table; ensuring I was still carrying the box of cards with me. I took the Christmas cards out of the little brown bag and set them down on the table. I was excited to write these Christmas cards and I was excited to wrap the presents. The only thing I wished was that I could be there when the girls opened them, but there was just no way for that to happen. It wasn’t as if I could ask him to let me come on the dates as well. I called Harry to see if he would give me their names so that I could fill out the cards. I was grinning like a villain when he answered on the second ring and I was glad that he couldn’t see my face.
“Hey there, girl, what’s going on?” His voice was confident and smooth and I wondered how he could sound as sexy as Matthew McConaughey, even without the Southern drawl.
“I just got the presents for your ladies,” I said in a singsong voice. “And I think they’re going to be very happy.”
“Okay, and what did you get?”
“I think it should be a surprise, don’t you?”
“I don’t like surprises, Sarah, you know that, what did you get and how much did you spend?”
“Oh my gosh, Harry, I just got them some perfume, just basic stuff. Don’t worry, I didn’t buy any emerald rings and diamond bracelets.” Poor women that dated Harry thinking he was going to be a generous rich man. He was not the sort to spend fantastic amounts of money on the women that he dated. Cheap ass!
“Perfume, that’s it, nothing else?” I could hear the disappointment in his voice and I rolled my eyes. He’d been the one to suggest perfume in the first place.
“Well I did get one girl some sexy lingerie, but then I thought you might think that’s too forward. So I decided to keep it for myself.”
“You decided to keep sexy lingerie for yourself?” There was humor in his voice. “Why?”
“What do you mean why?”
“I mean why would you keep it? You don’t have a boyfriend.”
“I don’t have a boyfriend now, that doesn’t mean I’m never going to have a boyfriend, Harry. And who says I can only wear sexy lingerie when I have a boyfriend. I can wear it for myself, I can wear it tonight if I want to. Maybe I want to be sexy for myself, you ever thought of that?”