“Okay, so then let’s bet. A hundred bucks.”
“Fine. I bet you a hundred dollars that you ask to watch Love Actually this New Year’s Eve.” She paused. “Well... actually, there’s one thing.”
“What one thing? Are you backing out already?” I laughed.
“No.” She pulled away from me slightly and I could feel that my body was sad at the loss of her heat.
“What?”
“Well, if I have a date this New Year’s Eve, we won’t be together, so then you can’t ask me. So do I pay you then or not?”
“What are you talking about, if you have a date?” I stared at her through narrowed eyes. Since when did Sarah have a date? She didn’t date.
“Well, I don’t have a date right now. I’m just saying if I happen to have a date.”
“What’d you mean if you happen to have a date? I thought you were concentrating on your career right now. Isn’t that what you’ve been saying?”
“Well, I mean, that’s what my parents say. They wanted me to concentrate on school and now they want me to concentrate on my career, but I don’t want to do that anymore. I’m ready to live my life.”
“What do you mean you’re ready to live your life? You are living your life. You’re not happy with your life? You’re not happy that you spend almost every weekend with me?”
“Harry, I love spending time with you. You’re my best friend. You know that, but I didn’t want someone so I can have a bit more than that.”
“What do you mean you want a bit more than that?” I pulled back and looked over at her face. She was blushing now, a deep, red tinge that made me feel warm inside. Her familiar face was something I’d always loved staring at. Whenever I was upset or angry, all I had to do was look at Sarah to calm down and feel better.
“Is there something you’re trying to tell me, Sarah? Is there something going on that I should know?”
“There’s nothing going on that you should know. I’m just saying that it’s about time that I lost my virginity and it’s about time that I met someone.”
“Hmm. I don’t think so.” Even as I said the words, I knew I was being selfish. What did I care if Sarah found herself a boyfriend? Maybe that would be even better for me. Maybe then she’d want to double date and she would attend the social events with me.
“I mean, if you think that’s what you want, well, yeah, go ahead.” It didn’t occur to me that Sarah getting a boyfriend would mean that we would spend less time together. That just wasn’t possible. We were best friends and had been forever. Yeah, she was three years younger than me. And yeah, some people thought it was weird that my best friend was a girl. But it was cool. We’d grown up together. She’d always been there. Her and my brothers. I expected to live the rest of my life with her as one of the most important people in it. And I expected to be one of the most important people in her life. That’s just the way it was.
“Harry, let’s not talk about this right now. I mean, it’s not like I have anyone yet and I haven’t had my makeover yet, so.”
“What makeover? What are you talking about?” I looked at her properly and that’s when I realized that her glasses were different.
“Did you change your glasses?”
“Yeah, like two months ago.”
“Oh, okay. They did look a bit different.”
“They’re very different. I used to look like I had four eyes, now I just look like I have two eyes.”
“Well, you still look like you have four eyes.” I laughed and she hit me in the shoulder. “I’m joking. I’m joking. You’re beautiful.”
“Actually, I’m going in for surgery. I’m going to get LASIK so I won’t have to wear glasses soon.”
“You’re going in for LASIK? Huh? But you said you would never do that.”
“I just need a different look, you know?”
“I don’t think you need a different look. You’re beautiful.” And then as I studied her body, I realized what I was saying was true. She was beautiful in her own way. Yeah, she was somewhat of a tomboy, always wore jeans, and covered her boobs and her legs. But that was fine. That way she didn’t have to worry about creepy guys all over her and I didn’t have to worry about protecting her so much.
“Harry, I don’t want to be the same old girl that’s just always in the shadows. I want to be the girl in the spotlight.”
“Why do you want to be the girl in the spotlight? Girls in the spotlight are so needy. They always have to be the center of attention. They always want you to buy them things. They always want you to take them out. They always want everything. It’s too much. I’m telling you, Sarah, you just want to be yourself. I’m sure you’ll meet a great guy that way.”
“Well, I haven’t met a great guy that way yet, have I?”
“You want me to hook you up with someone?” Even as I said the words, I knew that wasn’t going to be possible. None of my friends would do for Sarah. They were all dirtbags.
“Would you?”
“Why? Do you want me to?” All of a sudden I looked at her and she was blushing. “Is there someone you have a crush on? Do you have a crush on one of my friends? Oh please God, don’t tell me it’s Doug. You know Doug is a douchebag. Yes, he’s a model. Yes, he’s good-looking. But he’s a douchebag. He flirts with everyone. I’m pretty sure he would do anyone.”
“Harry, stop. That’s not what I said. I didn’t even bring up Doug. I didn’t even say I had a crush on anyone. I don’t have a crush on anyone. I just want to be able to meet someone. Okay? Really? Is that going to be a big problem for you?”
“No, it’s not a big problem for me. But okay, it’s slightly a problem with me.”
“You just said it wasn’t a problem.”
“Well, it’s a problem for me if you’re going to stop our tradition of spending New Year’s Eve together.”
“Harry, New Year’s Eve is meant to be for lovers, not for friends.”
“Wow. You didn’t seem to have a problem with it the last twenty-plus years.”
“I didn’t because I love spending time with you, but I want someone special.”
“Is this because I said I didn’t want to watch To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before? Are you like, trying to like flip out on me because I don’t want to watch that girly movie? Because I will totally watch it if you just go back to your normal, regular self. Please.”
“Harry, I am my normal regular self, I’m just... ugh. You know what? Let’s just watch Die Hard.”
“Yeah. Are you sure?” I burst into a huge grin. “I mean, only if you’re sure, of course. I mean, it is your favorite movie.”
“No, Harry, it’s your favorite movie.”
“Well, yeah, it’s my favorite movie too. But don’t you love everything I love?”
“No, Harry. That’s just how you see things. We always do what you want. We always watch what you want. And you just assume that I want it too. It’s like you don’t even care if I want it or not.”