“Don’t get too cocky,” Drew warns all of us, though he’s smiling. He knows how we are. “We still have one more team to conquer before we go onto state. And they’re tough. The toughest in the league.”
“We’re fucking tougher!” someone yells, making us all laugh.
Coach scowls. “Watch your mouth. Save the language for the locker room.”
We go quiet.
“Jake, there was something you wanted to say.” His father, our coach, nods at him.
Jake takes a few steps forward and stands up straighter, his gaze searching as he studies all of us kneeling before him. Like he’s the king and we’re his subjects. Normally this sort of thought process would piss me off, but right now, I’m all for it. Jake is our leader. He played like a master tonight, and I benefited from it, catching almost every pass he threw my way.
He’s the man, and right now, he should revel in it.
“You guys played an outstanding game tonight,” he says. “I couldn’t do what I do without your support, without your expertise. I know we hit a few rough spots early in the season.”
Jake’s gaze finds mine, and I incline my head in acknowledgement. We weren’t getting along. Shit was going sideways in my life, and I acted like a dick, hurting everyone around me. Even those I cared about the most.
Like Jocelyn, the girl I love. And Jake, my best friend.
“But we rallied around each other and pushed that shi—stuff behind us. Now we’ve got ourselves into a rhythm, and it’s working. We’ve got each other’s backs.” We roar a “yeah” in answer and Jake grins. “And nothing is going to stop us from winning next week. Am I right? Nothing!”
We yell and scream, then jump to our feet, ready to break free and talk to our family and friends who are waiting for us. Coach Callahan always makes us stay directly after the game for a little speech. I used to hate it. I just wanted to get out of there. Go see my girlfriend and listen to her tell me how great I played. She’d go on and on and I’d act like it was no big deal, but her words always touched me deep. Always made me feel like I was special. Jocelyn was the only one who could do that.
No one waits for me now, so what’s the point?
We’ve just been cut loose, and I watch as Jake goes jogging past me, heading right for his girlfriend, Hannah, who’s waiting for him. I spot Hannah in the distance—she’s hard to miss, with her vibrant reddish gold hair—and I remember all the shitty things I said about her when she and Jake were first getting together.
I was a complete asshole to her. To Jake. Pissed that some chick was stealing my best friend from me. How stupid was that? I need to apologize to her.
Someday soon, I’m going to do it.
Tony ambles up so he’s walking beside me, giving me a shove. I shove him back, and we grin at each other.
“Nice game tonight,” he tells me, his expression somber.
Guy shows no emotion. I’m surprised he’s complimenting me. “Thanks. Same to you.”
“Thanks.” He sends me a look. “Jos is right over there.”
I check out where he’s indicating with a nod of his head before I return my now confused gaze to his. “So?”
“She’s not waiting for you?” Tony lifts his dark brows.
What the fuck? “Bro, you know we split up.”
Tony slowly shakes his head. “Girl is pregnant with your kid. Maybe she’s had a change of heart.”
“Doubt that, but okay.” I shrug, fighting the melancholy that wants to grab me in its clutches and not let go.
I feel like shit over—everything. Somehow, my mother still doesn’t know Jocelyn is pregnant. I don’t know why Mateo is choosing to remain quiet, when his favorite thing is to abuse my ass on the daily, but he is. He’s got his own problems he’s dealing with. Like how he owes some dealer a bunch of money.
How he found my secret stash and stole some of my cash.
How we got into a blistering fight out in the back yard a couple of days ago. He swung and caught my jaw. I drove my fist into his rib cage. Mom caught us, demanding to know what we were arguing about, but we both remained mum.
I kept his secret quiet, and he did the same for me.
Is it really helping though? No. My life is fucked.
Fucked.
And I’m just cruising along, acting like everything’s cool.
It’s not.
We’re quiet as we continue walking, and I can tell Tony is struggling. He’s got something to say.
“Aren’t you two going to try and work it out?” he finally asks me.
I come to a stop. So does Tony. We face each other, and while my normal reaction is to get mad and tell him to fuck off and mind his own business, I realize I’m just…
Tired.
“I don’t really want to talk about Jocelyn right now,” I tell him, which is the honest to God truth. “I’d rather focus on the win tonight.”
Tony blinks. I think I’ve shocked him, and that doesn’t happen very often. “Yeah. Sure. I get it. Probably shouldn’t have brought her up.”
“It’s okay. I know you’re all curious.” I haven’t really talked about Jocelyn and our situation with any of my friends. Not even Jake. What are they going to say? The one time I mentioned it to Caleb, he said I should convince her to get an abortion.
“Taken care of just like that.” The asshole snapped his fingers.
Yeah. No. Not going to happen. I mentioned it to Jocelyn—a week after I first accused her of lying because I couldn’t wrap my head around what she said to me—and she basically told me to go fuck myself.
I really didn’t believe she was pregnant at first. I thought she was just freaking out. Wanting me back. That’s what Cami said.
Everything inside me sinks when I think of Cami. What people said about me. About her. How we were together behind Jocelyn’s back. When you hear something enough, you tend to believe it.
When you’re told something enough, you tend to do it. That was me.
With Cami.
Never admitted it to anyone, but I wondered at first if Jocelyn was keeping the baby out of spite. To get back at me for supposedly cheating on her with Cami. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that would be a really stupid way to get back at me.
And Jocelyn isn’t stupid. She’s not one of those vengeful girls either. She wouldn’t do something just to spite my dumbass.
She must really want this baby.
“You never talk about it,” Tony says, once we resume walking. “The baby. Jocelyn. The breakup.”
My gaze snags on Jocelyn standing almost directly behind Tony’s girlfriend, Sophie, and my steps slow. I feel like I’m a dead man walking. Jocelyn will catch sight of me and either blow me completely off or say something shitty.
Wait, no. Jos wouldn’t say something shitty. That’s more Cami’s style.
I whip my head around, searching for Cami. No way do I want her coming near me tonight. That bitch starts trouble no matter where she goes or who she talks to, and when I finally spot her, I almost want to laugh.
She’s with Wyatt, and one of the girls from the cheer team is taking photos of them together. He’s a junior. Decent guy. Actually, a really nice guy, so I have no idea what he’s doing with her. She’ll chew him up and spit him out and he’ll be left bleeding for days.