Home > Fighting For You (The Callahans #5)(9)

Fighting For You (The Callahans #5)(9)
Author: Monica Murphy

Far enough in my eyes.

“You saving your money for an abortion then?” Mateo asks, knocking me from my thoughts. “Twenty dollars isn’t going to make or break you.”

“Get out,” I tell him, hating that he knows just how to get to me.

“Give me twenty bucks or I’m telling Mom that you’re going to be a daddy,” he taunts, sounding like he’s thirteen and I’m ten and he’s bullying the shit out of me.

We stare at each other like we’re in a showdown. Isn’t he too old for this shit? Threatening to tell Mom like I just spilled my orange juice all over the table after Mom told me to watch out?

“Go ahead and tell her,” I say, my voice tight. All bravado on the outside when deep down, I’m quaking.

Mateo gives first. “No way am I talking to that bitch right now. It’s your lucky day. The both of you can go to hell.”

He storms out of my room, slamming the door so hard the window rattles. The moment he’s gone, I collapse on my bed, staring at the ceiling.

I need to tell Mom about Jocelyn and the baby before Mateo does. Or someone else. She’ll be so pissed if she doesn’t hear it from me first.

But how do I tell her? How do I swallow my pride and my fear and admit I got my girlfriend pregnant? Oh, and supposedly I cheated on her and left her at pretty much the exact moment she found out about the baby? Mom has already heard the rumors about me and Cami. Hell, when people started saying we were seeing each other, I legit started hanging out with her. May as well live up to everyone’s expectations of me, right?

I was fucking stupid for doing that. Mom hated Cami on sight, and openly expressed her disapproval. She adores Jocelyn.

Everyone adores Jocelyn.

Even me.

 

 

Three

 

 

Jocelyn

 

 

I’m at the playoff game because I like to torture myself watching Diego out on the field playing his heart out. I know this game means everything to him. It’s his senior year, and they’ve come so far. He wants to go all the way and win the state championship, and I think they have a good chance.

If I didn’t come tonight, it would look weird, and besides, I want to appear above it all. Everyone is at this game. We’ve had home field advantage since playoffs started, and people from the community have shown up in droves. It’s freezing cold outside, so I’m layered up, sitting on a thick blanket so the cold metal bleacher won’t seep into my butt, and I can see my breath every time I exhale, but I don’t care. No one does. We’re all yelling and screaming, cheering on the team as they continue to dominate.

My best friends Marley and Samantha sit on either side of me, both of them bouncing up and down with every solid play our team makes, expressing their displeasure loudly when the opposing team has the ball.

We’ve known each other since we were little and got closer when we all played for a traveling volleyball team during middle school. I’m still close with both of them, though I sort of forgot about all of my friends when Diego and I were together.

And some of those friends forgot about me too. Luckily, Sam and Marley brought me back into their friend group, something I really need right now.

I have to savor this while I can. My life is about to change in the most momentous way possible, and I still don’t know how to feel about it. It’s like I’m numb. Maybe I’m in shock. I’m a little resentful too. My friends are able to enjoy and savor these high school moments, and while I’m at this game and trying to enjoy it, all I can focus on is this is it. I’m going to start showing soon. And then everyone will want to stay away from me because I’m the pregnant girl.

This was my choice, but at this very moment, I sort of hate myself for it.

“Jake is so good,” Marley says, after yet another pass is completed. No mention of who completed it.

That would be Diego.

“I hear he’s going to Stanford,” Sam says.

“Nope.” Marley shakes her head. “USC.”

Sam’s eyes go wide. “No kidding? I just applied there too. And UCLA. Berkeley. Stanford. San Diego State.”

My heart cracks at her last mention. Sam is really smart. She’ll probably get accepted into every one of those colleges, while I’ll have to stay close to home.

“He already said yes to USC,” Marley tells us, tucking a strand of long, brown hair behind her ear. “He’s in my English class, and Skein was asking about it the other day. I swear, Jake almost seemed embarrassed when we all started clapping for him.”

“Good for Jake,” I murmur, my gaze going to him, then Diego. We haven’t talked since our interaction in the parking lot, and that was almost two weeks ago. Now we’re actively avoiding each other on campus. We don’t even make accidental eye contact anymore.

It’s the Friday before Thanksgiving, meaning we have all next week off of school, and I’m looking forward to the break. Though we’re driving to Oregon to see my dad’s family to spend the holiday with them, and I’m not looking forward to it.

I actually don’t want to go. My father asked that I not bring up my pregnancy to anyone else in the family while we’re there, especially my grandparents. How am I supposed to do that? It’s not as if I’m consumed with all things baby, but being pregnant is a part of my life now.

It’s like I’m my father’s—my entire family’s—secret shame.

Which I suppose I am.

Diego’s standing on the sidelines, his dark hair a mess, that permanent scowl on his handsome face. I can see it from up here at the top of the stands. He never looks happy anymore.

Despite my anger toward him, seeing him like this makes me sad. I know I should revel in his bad mood and hope that I’m the cause of it, but I don’t. I still—God, I hate admitting this—care about him. He’s the father of my baby. I’m forever tied to him.

Now, though, we pretend neither of us exists.

“Coaches from Fresno State have been here talking to Caleb,” Marley says, her gaze softening. She’s had a crush on him for years, and he knows it. Caleb is the biggest player in our class—possibly in the entire school. “I think they’re talking to Diego, too.”

He’s wanted out of here for years. Away from his family. Away from this town. We used to talk about us going to San Diego together, though they don’t have a great football team. But he swore he wanted to follow me, no matter where I went, and like the lovesick fool I was, I believed him.

That should’ve been my first clue what he told me was utter crap.

“Marley,” Sam says, her tone accusing, her head jerking in my direction. “Don’t mention him in front of Jocelyn.”

“You can say his name. I’m not going to have a meltdown,” I say, trying my best to sound bored. Like he doesn’t affect me.

But I’m dying to hear what else Marley has to say about him.

They both send me skeptical looks, but thankfully Marley keeps talking.

“I think a lot of the boys from our team are going to end up there. Diego. Tony. Caleb.” Marley tacks on a dreamy sigh when she mentions her not so secret crush yet again. “Maybe I should apply to Fresno State.”

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