Prologue
“Fennec!”
Whenever I saw his face, my heart skipped a beat.
That was normal. It had always felt normal, but this time, seeing him walking toward me with the brightest smile spread across his lips, there was something more that I felt deep inside my chest.
My body warmed, and when he reached me, he wrapped his arms tightly around me, lifting me up although we were almost the same height.
We had tall parents, and being not even one year apart, with me being born only eleven months after he was, people often thought we were twins.
Mama got pregnant with me when Fennec was only two months old, and despite doctors wanting to talk Mama out of it, she decided to keep me.
No matter the risks.
I was a healthy baby though, and growing up with Fen was the best thing ever.
He’s always been there for me, we played and learned new things together, always sat next to each other at the dinner table and in school, and whenever we would go to sleep, we’d find ways to sneak into each other’s rooms to play until we both fell asleep.
Fen’s been my best friend ever since, but there was more to that.
So much more.
We just didn’t know it yet.
“Free at last,” he grinned, letting me back down to my feet and rubbing my back before letting go of me and hugging Mama.
“Congratulations, Fen. I’m proud of you,” she told him quietly.
We all knew Fennec would graduate high school successfully, which couldn’t be said about me.
I had trouble staying focused in school, and always sitting next to a window was one of the reasons why.
I loved watching nature do whatever it did to stay so beautiful, and even though there wasn’t much change happening while staring at the trees and grass outside, I knew I’d rather be out there than stuck inside.
That’s why I wasn’t sure if finishing high school was what I aimed for.
It would be stupid not to, now that I would be a senior after summer, but knowing Fennec wouldn’t be around anymore was what made me want to quit school.
I reached for his hand as he let go of Mama’s embrace, and he squeezed my hand gently, giving me a soft smile while his thumb rubbed along mine.
“I baked you a cake before we came here. You have to try it. It’s carrot cake,” I told him, smiling at him.
“Our favorite. Can’t wait to try it. Let’s go,” he said.
“Wait. Don’t you wanna stay and celebrate with your friends?” Mama asked, immediately making me feel that stupid jealousy I always felt when someone brought up his friends.
I didn’t have any, because I wasn’t very good with people in the first place, but Fen was different.
We both were different, but…he was likable.
He played football and made some friends, and he also attended other clubs during his last school year, making him somewhat a popular guy.
It wasn’t hard to be popular at a school like this though.
We lived in Fairbanks, Alaska, and although it was a fairly big city, people talked and certain things made their rounds in households all over the city.
“I celebrated with them before the ceremony, Mama. I’m happy to come home with you two,” he said, making that jealousy in my chest fly away immediately.
“Let’s go! We should watch a movie. Remember the one I told you about? Where they’re in this spaceship?”
“Passengers?” he asked with a smile as we started to walk toward the parking lot.
“Yes, that! We should watch it,” I told him.
“Hey, Fen!” a familiar voice called out, and we all turned around to see Kody and Duke walk our way.
“You’re leaving already? We’re gonna party at Duke’s. You should come,” Kody said, giving me a look but looking away quickly.
That’s all I ever got from boys at this school.
Or in the streets.
Or anywhere.
I squeezed Fen’s hand tightly, silently telling him that I didn’t want him to go party with them.
Would he even have fun? He never attended parties.
We usually watched movies at night or went to the diner across the street to eat our favorite burgers and fries.
“Sorry, man. I promised my family to stay home tonight. I’ll be leaving soon, and I want to stay with them before I have to say goodbye,” he explained.
Leaving.
He’d go live with Papa in Wiseman.
In the wilderness.
“Ah, right. I forgot about that. You sure you wanna live in the forest? It gets crazy cold out there at night,” Kody reminded him.
As if we didn’t know.
We spent every summer with Papa, sleeping in the treehouse, and hunting for our own food.
It’s where I wanted to live too.
I couldn’t find a connection with society, just like Papa, and being close to him, learning new things and how to survive in the wild was what I wanted to do when I graduated as well.
“Yeah, heard about that,” Fen said sarcastically, then he held out his fist to say his last goodbye.
Kody and Duke fist-bumped him, but before we turned around to walk away, Kody looked at me again. “You gonna go live in the wild as well?”
The sudden judgmental look he gave me was proof that Fennec’s choice to live with Papa was okay, but me wanting to leave society and make my own damn rules was frowned upon.
Sexist fuck.
“She will, as soon as she graduates,” Fennec replied for me.
Duke let out a laugh while Kody grinned. “Gotta make sure she won’t get eaten by a bear.”
I ignored his comment, seeing as I’ve helped Papa hunt down a bear before.
I was little, but it was my greatest achievement.
That bear’s fur was now on my bed, keeping me warm at night.
When we turned and walked back to the car, Mama caressed the back of my head without saying a word but showing compassion.
She didn’t agree with Papa’s lifestyle choices, and how he was making Fennec want to live out there as well, but she sure hated boys like Kody and Duke, whose parents should’ve rethought their name choices as they sounded like dogs.
We got into the car, Fennec in the passenger seat and me in the back. “Are you sure you wanna go live with Papa? You know you still have time. We’ve talked about going to college. Are you sure that’s not something you’d like?” Mama asked.
“I promised Papa to be with him next week. I can’t bail on him, and you know how I feel about college.”
“College is boring,” I announced, making Fennec laugh and turn his head to look back at me.
“Yeah? And how would you know, Ves?”
I grinned and shrugged. “High school is boring, so I don’t think college is any better.”
“College is helpful,” Mama said, making us both look at her. “They teach you a lot for later in life.”
“They won’t teach me how to hunt and trap animals. Or how to survive in the wild. How to navigate back home when you’re lost,” he pointed out, making me smile brightly.
“Papa is the best college professor there is,” I said proudly, but Mama shook her head.
“Your father didn’t even finish high school. He has always swum against the current, always doing his own thing.”