I liked the way we had to find ways to clean ourselves in the forest, bathing and washing our clothes in the river, where we would also try and catch fish to either eat immediately or let them dry out to then snack on throughout the day.
Living in the middle of nowhere was exciting, and no day was like the other.
“You’re really sure about this, huh?” she said, her voice soft.
“Yes, but I promise to come visit you whenever Jason drives back to town.”
I would miss her, but having Papa and Fennec with me would take my mind off it.
I didn’t wanna spend my days missing her, because I knew she’d be okay on her own.
Well, she wasn’t all alone.
She had her friends, and without her kids at home, she could finally do all the things she liked doing like in the olden days.
Mama liked to go out and party, to drink wine and be careless.
“Think of it as me going off to college. You’d be alone then too,” I told her.
“That’s true. But this is different. You’ll be out in the wild with no protection—”
“Papa and Fen will protect me. And I can protect myself too, you know?”
She let out a soft chuckle and nodded. “You’re right. You’ll be fine.”
I heard a car pull up outside, and I quickly took another bite of the wing before getting up and washing my hands in the sink, grinning widely as I looked outside the kitchen window to see Jason’s truck parked right behind Mama’s.
“He’s here!” I announced, and sure enough, Jason got out of the car to walk toward our front door, leaving Sitka in the car.
I ran to the door and grabbed my duffle bag from the floor, then I pulled the door open to see Jason already standing there, lighting a cigarette.
“Ready?” he asked in a low growl, and I quickly nodded my head with a bright smile on my face.
Mama came over to us and smiled at Jason, saying hello and then looking at me with a concerned look.
“Take good care of yourself. Stay warm and eat enough, okay?”
“I will. You know I will,” I told her, letting the bag fall back down to my feet before hugging her tight.
Her arms wrapped around my body, rubbing my back gently and letting out a heavy sigh.
“Turn that phone on every once in a while, okay? I need to have some type of reassurance that you’re all okay.”
Unlike me, Fennec never had to turn his phone on in the wild. It was only for emergencies, and ever since he moved up there, we got exactly three calls from him and Papa.
One on my birthday, the second on Mama’s, and the third on Christmas.
When we tried to call them on either Fen’s or Papa’s birthday, they kept the phone turned off.
Birthdays weren’t that important anyway, right?
“I’ll send you a message whenever something fun happens. I love you, Mama,” I whispered, leaning back to look her in the eyes.
“Love you too, Ves. And tell Fen I love him too.”
I nodded, then kissed her cheek before turning to Jason who had picked up my bag and already smoked the whole cigarette.
“She’ll be fine. Don’t you worry about her.”
I squeezed Mama’s hand one more time before running to the truck and getting inside, making Sitka scoot over into the middle of the bench.
“Hi, big girl,” I said, rubbing her belly and letting her lick my face with her rough tongue.
Mama was still talking to Jason, and with her arms crossed over her chest, I knew she was worried again.
I sighed, hoping she would soon get over it and accept the fact that I was now old enough to go live with Papa.
Sitka whined next to me, staring at her owner longingly and waiting for him to come back.
But as soon as Jason turned around to walk to the car, Sitka got on all four paws and wagged her tail excitedly.
I looked at Mama who was waving at me, and I smiled, waving back and giving her a promising look that everything was going to be okay.
After Jason put the bag in the back, he got in the car and pushed Sitka back so he had enough space on his driver’s seat.
“Your Mama’s not very happy about you leaving, huh?”
I frowned. “She’s concerned that I won’t survive. It’s not about me leaving.”
Jason chuckled and turned on the engine, letting it roar before stepping on the gas.
With one last wave at Mama, I turned to look straight ahead with my arm around Sitka who was now comfortably laying across my lap.
“Why don’t you wanna leave for college like most kids do after high school? I went to college, and I still live in the middle of nowhere, doing my own thing.”
“Why did you attend college in the first place if you chose not to use the things you’ve learned?” I asked, thinking it was slightly unnecessary.
He narrowed his brows and shrugged. “The way you put it, it does seem as if I spent four years of my life learning things I never used again. Guess you’re right.”
“See? And I don’t even know what I would want to study in college. I’m not a good student anyway. With Papa is where I want to be.”
But he wasn’t the real reason why I wanted to go live in the wild.
It was Fennec.
I missed him, and finally being close to him again made my heartbeat pick up speed and pound loudly in my chest.
“Well, whenever you need something, you know where to find me.”
His cabin was a few miles away from Papa’s camp, near the big river, and I knew the path to Jason’s blindly, even if it took us through the thickest part of the forest.
*
Six and a half hours later, we finally arrived in Wiseman.
As tired as I was from the sleepless nights leading up to today, I couldn’t close my eyes.
Sitka could, and while she slept with his head on my lap, she drooled all over my pants.
It didn’t bother me much, and the wet stain would soon dry.
“Is Papa or Fennec coming to pick you up?” Jason asked as he parked his car next to his home.
Wiseman was a nice little place with only a few cabins, surrounded by trees and with a big mountain behind it.
“Uh, I think Papa. I texted them about coming today, and they read it but didn’t respond. I can go up there on my own though,” I told him.
“No way. You’re staying here until one of them comes to pick you up. Not gonna risk you getting lost.”
I frowned.
I wouldn’t get lost.
I knew my way home.
Nudging Sitka, I made her get up and leave the car before I did the same.
Even with us not wanting to use our phones too much, I had to contact them again to let them know I was here, waiting to be picked up.
I walked over to the back of the truck to get my phone out of the duffle bag.
While I turned it back on, Jason started to unload the truck, making Sitka grab a few things that weren’t too heavy to pull or carry over to the front door and garage.
“It’s getting dark too, Vespyr. How about you stay one night and let them pick you up tomorrow morning? You can have one last good meal before having to hunt for your own food.”
I shook my head, not wanting to wait another minute to be with them, but when the screen lit up, I saw a text from Papa’s phone.
I’ll come get you tomorrow. - F
A simple text which had the power to make my heart ache. Not sure if it was a good or bad aching.